prolapsed?

welcome to the site. I am glad you joined us. Without others it is even harder to deal with this. I felt the pressure you describe immediately after my first birth too. I didn't find this site until 9 months after but the posture helped a lot. It didn't help with the rectocele though. I also have the front and back bulge that you describe. It totally sounds like you have a cystocele and a rectocele and I may have a prolapsed uterus too but the other two keep it up haha! Trust yourself and not the doctors because my doctor also said I only have a small cystocele but I can tell from self diagnosis that I have a lot more. One major reason is that they check you laying down and then you definitely can't see the rectocele and the cystocele is smaller. I just came to the realization that it doesn't matter much what the doctor says because it won't change anything. They will still offer surgery etc. no matter how bad it is. Have you tried a pessary yet? That is the next thing that I am going to try once I have healed from this birth. It also affects my everyday life. Everything feels like it is falling down too. I still don't know which foods make it worse for me. Sorry got to go get the baby. Keep reading and get support from other moms here.

Welcome to the forum. I know what you mean with feeling alone in this but you really are not - this forum proves it. I don't know anyone personally who has this but then again I haven't asked and it isn't something that we talk about over a cup of coffee - well at least I don't! It does sound very much like you have prolapses and I know exactly how you feel. I only discovered mine about 5 months ago but things for me have worsened since discovery. I did see both my doctor and a gynaecologist and both told me that I had no prolapse and everything was where it was supposed to be. HA! I know better. I said to both after examination that it is when I am standing that they present themselves but that seemed to fall on deaf ears and they shrugged their shoulders.

I am still quite new to everyting and am still struggling to come to terms and deal with it. I feel that if things continue to worsen then I will try a pessary but am trying to hold off on one until I really feel I cannot deal with day to day life. I have ordred some sea sponges to try as a natural pessary so will wait and see how those work.

Don't suffer in silence, come here and vent whenever you need to - I do!

There are lots of lovely ladies here that will give you words of encouragement and tips on how to help you deal with things. It sounds like you have already started with the book and firebreathing etc.

Never strain on the toilet - you may already know that. I had lots of trouble with constipation when my prolapses first started and it took awhile to sort it out but I have found that Psyllium Husk capsules and Flax Seed Oil capsules work for me to keep things moving and I am able to go normally now. I did have to splint a few times in the early days but I hated doing it so was glad to find something that helped. Sometimes it takes a bit of experimenting - well it did in my case.

I wish you well.

Take care,

A

Yes it does make you feel like that. It is still such a taboo subject that no one talks about it and you feel really embarassed about brining it up. I haven't told any of my family apart from my mum as I feel like they will look at me differently. Stupid I know as it takes us being more open about these things for the word to get out there. It was REALLY hard for me to tell my husband and I only just discovered that he still believes the doctor and gyno that I don't have prolapse. God knows what he thinks has been upsetting me recently and why I keep asking him to do things for me because I am so uncomfortable!

It is so nice to connect with others who are experiencing the same thing - it's a shame its not under nicer circumstances but at least we are here for one another and we truly understand.

A

ATS,

I felt like you, that I was the only person who had this thing until I did begin to inch it into conversation. I said things like, "Well, when the pelvic floor weakens,drops, begins to give one trouble, " and the response was nearly, "Oh good, you have that too; isn't it awful!" Now, everyone I know has something nasty going on vaginally.

I haven't told my husband because he would want to tell me what to do with absolutely no information, and I can't stand that that kind of thing. He would insist that "they" whoever "they" are could fix this lickety split, if I just did the right thing and put myself into the hands (or at the mercy) of some brilliant doctor who blah, blah, blah, and that would end a peaceful evening. I don't ask him about his prostate, so I suppose we're even.

Knowing it's a shared thing with at least 50% of women makes it more endurable. My heart grieves for the young. I didn't get this until I was 56 - it was a birthday present, lucky me. I can't imagine being in my 20s,or 30s and having to deal with this forever.

Blessings,

Judy

Change what you can change; be happy with what you cannot.

I was only thinking today that I have cousins and one has had 6 children and the other 4 and I know the one that had 4 had episiotomies with most if not all of her babies and I am now beginning to wonder how they are holding up, so to speak! I very rarely see them but I would be very interested to ask them if they have any problems as I cannot believe I am the only female in my family that has had children that has this problem seeing as it is so common.

My sister had c-sections for both of her babies but they were VERY large (nearly 11 lbs each!) and I wonder what kind of strain that put on her pelvic floor and I know c-sections do not protect you against prolapse. She now goes to the gym and does weights, runs and carries all sorts of heavy things. I did ask her if she suffered with any sort of stress incontinence but no. She does seem to be made of tuff stuff though, she has no stretch marks despite being the size of an elephant when pregnant!

Perhaps it is time I plucked up the courage and did bring the subject up over a cup of coffee!

A

That is just what I was going to suggest ATS. I emailed the self exam to all the women in my life- even the ones I don't know well- with a note to get to know their pogp so to speak. I wish I had known my vagina better preprolapse. The response was amazing!!! Almost all the women I sent it to have some form or another of mild to moderate prolapse- interesting. But then I am mostly involved with young mothers of multiple children- we are the risk group so to speak....

Welcome Mum. I am so glad you decided to post. No sense in soldiering it alone when we are all here. Glad to have you. Do you have the new addition of the book? There is the self exam in it and then you will know exactly what is going on.

I'm glad you started posting. it is so much easier when you have others in the same boat to talk to. I can only agree with the others here, yes, it does sound like you have a prolapse. do continue to trust yourself. for some reason, prolapse is so underdiagnosed. even my mw, who examined me both laying down and standing up claimed that things 'look pretty good'. believe me, things do not look pretty good. she didn't even see the remnants of my unhealed perineal tears from long ago and when I pointed it out she said 'oh thats not too bad' (it is).
I think, aside from not examining women properly (ie standing up), health care professionals still believe that this does not happen to young women, that it is only the 'old ladies in nursing homes' who suffer from prolapse. no one wants to see or believe that the young, vibrant, sexy women can prolapse. so they justify it away. stretched out muscles from childbirth, low tone, weak muscles, oooh my fav....'skid marks', etc, all pleasantries that hide the real issue. I thank G-d every day for Christine's bravery in finally standing up and calling it like it is.

HELLOOOOO. I AM A YOUNG MOTHER AND I HAVE PROLAPSE. AND GET THIS - I AM STILL FEMININE AND VIBRANT AND HEALTHY AND SEXY.

stick around and keep posting. no need to be alone

you wrote:
My heart grieves for the young. I didn't get this until I was 56 - it was a birthday present, lucky me. I can't imagine being in my 20s,or 30s and having to deal with this forever.

and its a funny thing.....I grieve for the new moms finding this immediately postpartum. I worry about the postmenopausal women who find it when they no longer have the benefit of estrogen coursing through their blood. I feel blessed that I found my prolapse at the 'perfect time' if there is such a thing, lol. didnt have a newborn at the time, but I've got plenty of time (hopefully) before menopause to get a handle on things.

so I guess its all perspective. who is wealthy? he who is happy with his lot. (forgot the source for that one)

I too am a new mom , at 35 though. So I unnderstand your shock at this sort of problem happening after only one child. I knew immediately after the (long) labor that something wasn't right, well i also had a really bad tear. Anyway, you are not alone. I think a lot of doctors have very different opinions, and that is all they can do anyway is give their opinion. Maybe try some different doctors till you find one you like. remember, you know your body better than any one else. Good luck!

I recognise your user name from another website! I am glad you have joined and just wanted to say hi. I am sure you will find a HUGE amount of information here to help you along the way and the ladies here are a wealth of information.

I am still in the early days of dealing with this but I will say that I do alot more now than I did in the early days.

Keep in touch.

Take care,

A

P.S. I notice that my reference to this website was deleted from my reply to your post on the other forum. I don't know why other websites will not alow us to empower ourselves with as much information as we can about this subject.

Hi all!

I'm new here so apologies if this subject has already been discussed! I had my first baby 8 months ago after a very easy and straightforward home birth. I had a slight tear and was given a few stitches. Before I had my baby I always found sex to be quite uncomfortable, particularly deeply penetrative sex. I had all sorts of examinations and even underwent a laparoscopy which came back clear and I was fobbed off with having IBS. The pain has now completely gone since giving birth - phew! But........ unfortunately my partner now finds sex very uncomfortable. He says that my vagina is very rough inside and even has a small abrasion on the end of his penis after we've had sex. I haven't been to my GP yet. Anyone any ideas what it could be? I don't seem to have any problems with a weakened pelvic floor and don't suffer from any stress incontinence.

Thanks in advance

Hi Bensmum

I also had an end to painful sex after my first baby. I think in retrospect that I was just very tightly held together in there at that time. Ironic isn't it, that it is exactly the opposite another two babies and twenty five years later. You can't win, eh?

It sounds to me like there is something rubbing in there. How about you and your partner having a feel in there with your fingers (separately of course!) and see what you can find, at a time when the sexual juices are not giving you other ideas of things to do while your knickers are off.

Is the abrasion on his penis always in the same spot? What if you use different positions? Can you find at least one position where it is comfortable for both of you?

There is nothing quite like a bit of knowledge to de-mystify the vaginal happenings, and you don't need your man being uncomfortable during sex either. That just shouldn't be happening. It sounds to me like there is some spare tissue in there, and your vagina hasn't healed or been sutured properly.

Hey, here's a scary thought! Were they dissolving sutures, or did they have to be removed? Maybe there is still a suture in there. Now that would scratch a penis. Poor man!

Good luck with your investigations.

Louise

Hi Louise,

Thanks for replying. I think you're right - I'll get the KY out and a miner's lamp!!! No, seriously it is a bit of a concern as my partner has now nicknamed me Gnasher. I was told at the time that the stitches were dissolvable and I've certainly not had any taken out.

I reckon I should book an appointment with the Doc.

Cheers!