catasthrophe

Submitted by alikatz on December 23, 2004 - 8:56am
Body: 

Hi
I am Ali from the UK and just feel like Ive suddenly been flung into a nightmare world that 2 weeks ago I knew nothing about.Pelvic floor prolapse. I am 39 , have 1 son who was born by c section 13 years ago and I am very petite and slim. I dont smoke, dont have a cough Why me? I guess thats what everybody thinks and to be honest I am past that stage now to "what the hell can I do about this?" Two weeks ago I was fine, I hadnt any symptoms just occasional aching of my cocyx if I sat down too long. I had a period and removed my tampon (sorry to be graphic)and thought ouch thats sore in there. After a couple of days the uncomfortable feeling hadnt gone - I can only describe it as the feeling you get when you havent inserted a tampon properly and its not high enough in your vagina - its really uncomfortable. I decided to investigate and nearly threw up in terror when i found a big bulge in my vagina, part of which was extremely painful.I immediately went on the net researched my symptoms. I self diagnosed a rectocele as the bulge is at the back of my vagina and now my butt can really ache as well. Most of the time I feel like Ive got an orange stuffed up there. I went to my docter and couldnt stop crying - but I seemed to know more then she did. She says my uterus is fine and I dont appear to have a cystocele. Luckily I have no problems with my waterworks.I see the Gynacologist next week
I just needed to share this with you all. I cant believe there are so many women suffering in this way - and when ive read some of the horror stories relating to surgery, it sounds purely medieval.
The most Ironic thing is that I had increased doing my pelvic exercises in the last couple of months to improve my sex life - and now I feel devestated that I may never have a sex life ever again I had just come through a period of depression after my long term relationship had ended and was beginning to look forward. Sorry to go on too long - but I have a question that you maybe able to help me with. Like I say I am assuming I have a rectocele but some of the symptoms dont fit- my rectocele can be very painful and I could no more push it back then fly in the air, Also I dont have any difficulty with BMs, I am not constipated. My doctor says it could be painful as the rectocele appears to have happened overnight. Can anyone help?
Love to all you brave people out there

Ali
x

Christine

December 23, 2004 - 11:56am

Dear Ali,

Yes, it will be good to get the opinion of your gyno as to what is going on. The pain, yet lack of bowel symptoms, does sound unusual.

If it

alikatz

December 23, 2004 - 2:23pm

Thanks for the advice. Funnily enough I was sitting in exactly the same squatting position you describe last nite and didnt suffer any pain. Its amazing how your body seems instinctively to know whats gonna help. I am a bit apprehensive as to what the gynacologist is gonna say as sum of my symptoms dont match the rectocele profile. I have trawled the net in the past week or so looking for comfort, reassurance and explanations, I cant find any other condition that matches my symptoms. I also have panic disorder which is controlled by meds and so have a tendancy to be hyper vigilant when it comes to health symptoms. You know when you find something wrong you concentrate on it night and day and I am sure I make my own vaginal muscles and rectal muscles tense as sometimes when I am distracted the pain lessons. However the thought of having a vaginal tumor was one that sprang to mind , but I try and be realistic and remain calm as I have no other symptoms such as unexplained bleeding, weight loss etc. In fact prior to this I had felt better then I had in a long time. Chronic IBS and acid reflux that I had suffered from for about 4 years just seeem to calm completely about 9 months ago - with the reduction of the stress asssociated with an unfullfiling and emotionally destructive relationship. The only other things that fit the "spec" of a prolapse are that when I wake up in the morning I feel like i am "cured" as I havent any symptoms - but they start to return within the hour. Also my mum has a prolapse but she is 73 and delivered 2 children vaginally. Finally I would like to ask another question. I had my son by c section - but it was an emergency. My pelvis is too small for a baby to come through. I dilated to 8 cms within 2 hrs and was rushed to the delivery room. The next 3 hrs are a bit of a blur but basically I was trying to push a baby out that wasnt even engaged cause I am too small. Eventually due to the fact my son was in great distress and the realisation that I wasnt gonna get this baby out I had a C section. Could damage have been done to my pelvic floor through trying to get him out initially ?and can any damage be done as a result of C section?
Once I get writing I cant stop!
Ali
x

Cathy

December 28, 2004 - 6:27am

Hi Ali:
Sometimes I think life is just too short for us to learn all there is to help us throught it.
Regardless of why this has happened to you you should be going forward with accepting what you now have to focus on.
I have a prolaps now for ~2 years. I have had no surgery. I keep in touch with the gyn. It helps me so much to be aware that this condition is recognized by other sensitive and literate women who also hesitate to see cutting out the uterus as no more than a stupid and horrible thing to do if there is nothing wrong with it - just no support. As far as having somthing to tack it in place inserted idefinitely in my body that too sounds ridiculous to me.
I have only minimal reasons to doubt my senses and am so delighted to find others who question these procedures.
I have had minimal discomfort and nothing to call "pain"
The gyn is not reluctant to have me live as I do"I can live with it if you can" I think you should try to fully understand what has changed for you and then try to find and accept how to deal with it.
I makes good sense to me that if I can use my pelvic bone to help keep things in shape- it should work. What type of prolapse has your mom had? Is she living with it? I am now 57 and please don't think this is old. It is not! My mom is 82 and I really don't see her as old.Best to you-Cathy

Christine

December 29, 2004 - 12:53pm

Hi Ali,

I think your condition was much more likely to have been brought on by a weakened abdominal wall (CS), bowel problems (IBS) and lifestyle factors (straining against the hard rim of the toilet seat) than a labor that was not even engaged to the level of the pelvic floor.

Christine

alikatz

December 30, 2004 - 1:00am

Hi
I have now ordered the book so I can learn all there is to know! I have also booked a holiday to Spain for later in the year so that gives me something really nice to focus on (and save up for!)trying to remain positive and not over analysis. I see the Gy today so I should get a clearer idea of whats going on. On a real positive note the pain I was experiencing initally has gone, maybe my Doctor was right - and that the pain was caused by the quickness of it all.
Anyway thanxs for all your support so far

Have a peaceful New Year everyone
luv
Ali
xx