pelvic floor symptoms after d&c for miscarriage

Hello I am new to this site. I am 46 years old. Here is my story. I have 5 children. My first was a c-section and all others were v-back vaginal births. We wanted to try for another child when our youngest was about 18 months and after a year and half. At my yearly appointment the time I was 44 the pa told me that most likely that was not going to happen because of my age. I was crushed and resolved to the fact that this part of my life was over. Then my next cycle was 40 days and I had a day where I felt nausaus and extremely hot internally so I thought I really must be starting in perimenopause. Then started with other strange feelings as time went on like I had this warming sensation over my abdomin through out the day and again my cycle went past 40 days so I didn't think anything of it and went to my primary care doctor and they ran all kind of tests on me . Then she called to say I should have a pregnancy test. So I did and it came back positive and based on the blood levels I should be 3 1/2 to 4 months along. Shock set in because I had five pregancies and had morning sickness with each one till 15 weeks. I felt so stupid. How could I not know this about my own body. I needed to call my ob office. The ob office was very short handed but said I should have a sonogram for dating. I was able to get an appointment the next day at an off site location. This is when our nightmare began. On May 18th at the sonogram the tech didn't say anything except tell us measurements and we were measuring alittle over 8 weeks and we needed to see our ob that afternoon. Hours passed while we waited and worried what was wrong until finally we were sent to the ob office to see a pa who came in and said not sure if you know or not but your baby has no heart beat and you should have a d&c or you can try and have the miscarriage on your own just let us know. I have had more compassion when my car gets serviced. We left he office in shock and were numb. It was disbelief. I did not want a d&c after I read about them at that point. You always go through the if only maybe something was wrong. We waited a week and asked my doctor's office to have another sonogram and to be able to actually see the sonogram ourselves and have a sort of closure. The end of May we did and I wanted an appointment to see an actual doctor and not a pa. (Nothing personal but I am paying for a doctor I would really like to see one) I don't mind seeing a pa for minor things I am a team player but this was not minor. So the doctors office said I could see a doctor in another location and my husband made arrangements to go on Friday of that week. We get there only to find out that there was know doctor there just another Pa. I did start to spot a little. She knew I was upset that there again was know doctor after being told there would have been and we went out of our way to get there.She looked like I had 5 heads and could not understand what the big deal was that I wanted to see a Doctor....So very frustrating besides being so upsetting at this time you want answers and compassion from your healthcare provider not to have to battle them. I had lots of questions and no one was able to anwser them. I had never had a miscarriage before and not sure what to expect thought maybe they could give me some insight to this and then about the d&c if I should have to go down that path. Reluctantly the pa made an appointment at the office I go to the following Monday. I wanted a doctor to show me the sonogram and explain what it all ment. On June 7th,10 I had an appointment with a doctor for about 5 minutes. He didn't have the sonogram to show me. He said just a report that said there was know heart beat. All he wanted to know was when I would have the d&c. It was so disappointing not having answers to my questions. It was so clinical and cold. I was spotting more and in a sense relieved to know that maybe this nightmare was coming to an end. I had more compassion from my Vet when my dog died. The doctor told me that if I didn't miscarry on my own in a week they would have to do a d&c. I am rh negative and needed to go to the hospital as soon as I could that night and get a shot of rohgam. Ran home quick to get everyone off the bus and make sure husband and kids were feed and took some advil for the cramping,changed my pad. Through an extra in my bag in case they take longer than expected and off I went to get my shot. Arrived at the hospital around 6ish and had to go through the er since registration is now closed. The er thought they could do the shot there but after some time sent me up to labor and delivery (Just where a woman that is loosing her baby wants to go and spend time hearing all the new babies crying) so off I went up the elevator to the labor floor and spoke to someone at the desk that said no they do not give the shots and sent me back down to the er. I went to the window and once again told them the story and said labor said they do not give the shots. At that point the person in charge of the er got on the phone to the labor floor and asked to talk to someone in charge of the labor floor. Well it was back up to the labor floor and they put me in an extra room that they stored things in and said the lab would be up to draw blood and then I needed to wait a hour
for the results to see how much of the rohgam shot I neeeded. At 7:50pm someone finally came to draw blood so that meant I would be there till at least 9pm. The room did have a bathroom in it and I was able to go in and change my pad. I sat in a chair because my cramping was getting worse and I was due for more advil which I didn't bring along. So I bent over in the chair like in a fetal position to alleviate some of the pain. Then out of know where a wonderful woman who was a nurse and also delt with pregancy loss stopped in my room. She was the first person since I found out about the miscarriage that explained anything what I may be feeling physiclly and emotionally. Why did it take going in for a shot to have a nurse be the one to explain anything and have any type of compassion. She just happened to be the one that was coming in to check on me because she was who was going to give me my shot when it came from the blood bank. At about 8:45pm I went to stand up and I felt this gush of something and I went into the bathroom and the miscarriage started. Looked like large pieces of liver on my pad which I didn't have anymore of in my bag. I could not get off the toilet because I kept bleeding and I didn't have any more pads. I called for the nurse and she saw all the huge liver like piece on my pad and talked to the doctor from my practice and told me to get into a bed and she would give me my shot. I needed to lay down. Well wasn't my husband surprised when I called and told him what was happening. Got my shot around nine and the doctor came in around 9:30 or10pm and they did vitals. I was shaking (usually what happened when I went into labor)my body started taking over and I felt involuntary urges to push like if you were in labor. My temperature was 99.7. The doctor who had been at the hospital all day came in again and I told her that I wanted to do this on my own and she said okay but if you are not then we will have to do a d&c in the morning. My emotions were running high. Feeling very overwhelmed. Doctor said she had been there all day and my temp. was 99.7 she would much rather do a d&c now than to have to run back in during the night for an emergenc. Me the empathetic person that I am felt bad to have to inconveniece someone else in case that would happen so being very emotional I aggreed to a d&c that night and since I ate less than 6 hours ago I had to have a tube down the throat.After I agreed I wanted to get back up and use the rest room but know one would let me they said I needed to use the bed pan. Now at that point I did not have anything hooked up to me not even an IV. Why wouldn't they let me up.The doctor did check me and confirmed that I did not pass the baby yet just tissue. Were they afraid I might just have passed everything and then they would be out the d&c(which cost 5000) I was out of surgery by 1230am. They put me in a room. I was numb.Empty.Occasionally someone came and took my vitals. They didn't say a word. My room was dark. The way I felt. I have always been prolife but this solidified it for me when life begins for me. It is difinatly at conception. Even though my baby's heart beat had stopped I didn't feel the loss until its soul left my body. Now thinking that is going to be closure and a time of healing for me and our family.The morning I got out of bed to try to use the restroom I knew something was wrong but I did not have any frame of reference because I never had a d&c or a miscarriage before. So I thought well is this part of what you go through after having them. I have have burning when urinating. Know one could answer me whether I may have been cathed. or not. I also had rectal pressure and vaginal pressure. I asked and my answer was you will be a little sore give your body time to heal. Oh ok sure I guess. I needed to be seen the doctor told me in 2 weeks in the office. So I go home and try and start the healing process. The next day I call and make my 2 week appointment and told the nurse that I still had the burning when urinating she sent me for a urine culture maybe I had a uti. My bottom actually felt like it was ripped apart. I went to my 2 week appointment once I arranged for child care for the kids. I really was looking forward to this appointment because I wanted to know how long I should be feeling this way. Arrived at the appointment only to be told they didn't have any record of an appointment for me.(I almost started to cry) Is this for real. They made an appointment in another week,saw the doctor that did the d&c. Everything should be fine and because I was emotionally gave me a name of a therapist that I should talk to someone about the loss. Just give your body time. You have some prolapse but that is to be expected after 5 children. Well that just frustrated me but who am I. I don't have the degree. So back home again. Life with a family doesn't stop. I am still wearing a pad after a month because I still spot through out the day.I still have the rectal pressure and vaginal pressure . I make an appointment and have to see a pa again. I explain the symptoms and that it is constant all day long and it is whering on my nerves. She checked me. Said yes I had some mild prolapse but that should be expected since I had 5 children. Said I had a great deal of irration in the perimium area.Well I guess don't you think I would since I have been wearing pads for almost 2 months. She prescribed cream for the irration. Gee thanks. Oh so frustrated. I almost started to cry and of cousre they think that is because of the loss. Not because No ONE is hearing me. She told me to go home and focus on the family I have and enjoy them. I am over whelmed beyond words at this point. I get my cream. The people I see at this practice now are trying to convince me that what I am feeling doesn't happen. The constant rectal and vaginal pressure. I still felt like I looked like I was 3 or 4 months preganant.I felt a pulling in the incision where I had my c=section many years ago. I felt like everything was going to fall out. And this practice thinks that this is in my head. I always want you to know that prior to the d&c I did not have any of these symptoms at all and I lived a very active and full life. At 46 I felt like life as I once knew it was over. These symptoms are a constant reminder of the loss. I thought I would be healed by now some ten months later. Well I went back to the pa two weeks later. I said I can not take this anymoe something is wrong. She said you can try some pelvic therapy if it will make you feel better. She is not living with the constant pressure. It has effected bowl movements and being intimate was out of the question. She gave me a pamphlet said to make an appointment for pelvic floor dysfunction. I had know idea what that was but I knew that I am never coming back to this office after being there for twenty years. The good doctor that I originally went there for was not delivering babies anymore and I got stuck seeing all the new ones. The number I called for the womans therapy no longer did that therapy any more. That was the icing on the cake for me. Why would you had out a pamphlet to a patient that know longer did that service for over a year. I get better care and service for my car. Did my own research and found a womans therapy. I cried the day I saw her that someone finallly believed me. She has started me on pelvic exercises and then we are working up to doing kegals. She also gives me internal treatments for pelvic muscle spasms. She also believes I have areas of prolapse. Not sure if it is rectal or vaginal. I just had the courage to go to another obgyn to see her oppinion and she confirmed the prolapse at an annual. She now sent me for a pelvic and transvaginal sonogram. Still waiting to get an appointment to discuss the results. I just don't understand why I had to do the d&c in the first place. I may have been predisposed to prolapse prior to the d&c because of the 5 pregnancies and even having the c-section but wasn't there other options out there for me besides the d&c that we could have tried first. This has forever changed me. I feel now I take three steps forward and 5 steps back. I feel I am to young to be having these issues and to not be heard by your healthcare provider and to make you think you are loosing your mind is not right! I just found the whole woman website and finally feel like there may be hope for me. This has been very painful....Has anyone ever experienced anything like my symptoms?