New here! Mad and discouraged...

I just want to say I SOO hear you about weight training and what was for me also a pretty unexpected end to it all a few weeks ago. My story is a little different – I’m almost 66, and for many years battled a horrible weight problem and had gotten myself up to around 200 lbs (I’m 5’ on a good day). It took me several years to lose around 70 lbs. and my treat to myself when I turned 65 was to begin working three times a week with a personal trainer. I was so excited to feel myself getting stronger and finally beginning to look “normal” – not in large sizes any more, all of that. I loved lifting weights and was also probably lifting way more than I should have been, but I was making good progress and was happy whenever we could add more weight to challenge me. UNTIL….about two weeks ago when I came back from a workout, took a shower, and noticed the same “baby head” you describe – off to the doctor who diagnosed me with the famous Grade 2 fallen bladder and of course that was the end of my weight training.

Like you, I am also angry at the trainers for not knowing about this possibility, but my doctor added that in my case, the weight loss could have had something to do with it too. I guess when you’re heavier the tendons in there have more to stretch around and then when you lose a lot of weight in your abdomen they get kind of loose, and it’s easier for the prolapse to happen. No one ever warned me about any of this and it could have so easily been avoided. Prolapse runs in my family and if anyone had even bothered to ask about that part of my medical history they might have been able to say “maybe you shouldn’t do this” or “do this differently” or SOMETHING.

I am also waiting for my book and DVD to come and shaking my head trying to figure out what comes next for me fitness-wise. Just at the point where my cardiologist gave me the go ahead to ramp everything up with aerobics to strengthen my heart, now everything has had to come to a screeching halt while I figure all this new reality out. My husband just had a pacemaker and a stent put so I’m especially aware that I need to be somehow doing some cardio stuff. But I honestly am not sure yet how I’m going to proceed.

Anyway I just wanted to say you’re not alone out there!

The first thing to master is WWposture. You can find out about this by going to the home page and finding the wholewoman blog tab.

Pessaries: some people like them, others have trouble with them. I think a major concern Christine has reported re pressaries is that they hold the upper vagina open and also press on the rectum. The holding open of the vagina is contrary to its innate ability to flatten against the pressure exerted by other organs (bladder, intestines and rectum) upon it. Some women find that the pessary “will flip vertically in order to conform to the natural axis of the vagina”.

The other consideration is that the whole process of WWposture, diet, exercise etc is to restore tone to the pelvic area. With a pessary in place the internal pelvic area is naturally “stretched and its supportive power diminished”. Things to think about as you discover more and more information about your situation.

Ok, you possibly won’t like me saying this, but menopause may be just around the corner and this too may have been a contributing factor to your prolapses, not denying the heavy exercise impact upon your possible predisposition to bladder prolapse you think was evidenced in your wanting to pee before exercise.

For considerations on Kegels take a look on the home page and go into the blog tab and you will find Christine’s report on the New Kegels.

Sex: It is a pretty common reaction to back off when you find yourself with prolapse. Nothing different about that to when you may hurt a toe or break a leg, you will favour and protect them until they are better. Most women still have sex with prolapse, but it is early days yet, give yourself time to mentally adapt to the fact that despite your prolapse you are truly still the same you. You will need to consider too what the situation with the pessary is in this regard. Are you able to take it out when you need to?

After your research please come back if you have further queries.

Best wishes, Fab

What a lovely, supportive post you have written to Spamelah.

Just a quick note to say walking is powerful cadio stuff. Walking in WWposture is powerful prolapse stuff. Wed the two and you can have a party. Have a look at Christine’s wholewoman blog on the home page, you will find a description of how the posture is done. Work at it. You and Spamelah are both tough and athletic ladies, just wait until you try the new posture, you’ll learn what’s tuff.

Best wishes, Fab

I would just like to say i also really struggled to think no pelvic floor exercises because in the UK they hammer it in to you, kept getting told its just saggy skin which needs working. I therefore would not listen and did do some pelvic floor exercises, i can tell you it 100% made me worse, i had the tampon feeling all the time it drove me mad, since stopping any kegals, doing the posture as much as i can (having work done on my back) and doing Christines first dvd the tampon feeling has pretty much gone!!! Sex i also struggle, i am 28 and feel like i dont dare let him touch me as its all so different now (bladder and bowel prolapse) but i am going to try again as we have got to work with what we have and i am feeling a lot better mentally with the help of everyone here, do lots of research on this site and get started asap x

Hi (Not)Spamelah

Sorry you got caught by the Spam police. You are now declared not guilty, and set free on the world again. ;-)

Firstly, you may think you have done this to yourself. I don't think it is quite that simple. When we work at gyms and with personal trainers there is usually a degree of supervision, especially at first. It sounds like you were doing what you were doing on advice of someone whom you would have thought knew what the risks were. So don't beat up on yourself. Nobody really knows whether or not you had a POP in waiting prior to this, that would have occurred eventually anyway. Most women who have been pregnant seem to experience some degree of POP at some point in their lives, and many live with if for years, oblivious and not experiencing any symptoms. You are in good company.

Re pessaries, I don't think there is a scientific answer to this question about whether or not they cause harm. I know of women who have had pessaries for many years without problem. They can be a surgery stopper, and I think you have to balance up the pros and cons as best you can. The Whole Woman posture and other techniques will help the pessary to do its job and potentially vice versa. If the pessary is working somewhat, posture and other techniques may improve its function.

Yes, the vagina does stretch to accommodate their shape, whatever that might be. Bigger is not necessarily better, as long as it will stay in place. If it is staying in place and helping somewhat I would not change it. A bigger one will stretch your vagina more, which might not be in your vagina's best interests.

I am very proud of you writing to the trainers and telling them to look out for potential prolapse in their clients. If one woman is prevented from having prolapse appear on their shift they should be grateful for you pointing out how they can reduce their risk. There may have been some fine print in some paperwork that you may have signed that absolves them from responsibility. That's not the point. The point is that you are in their hands, and no woman wants POP. I will be very surprised if they are not aware of the potential of POP from heavy lifting. Perhaps their heads, like the rest of the world, are firmly in the sand?

POP may well be the last thing your marriage needs but men don't actually notice their sexual partner's POP to any degree. Women here have confirmed that. You may well be feeling disinterested in sex right now. POP puts an enormous dint in our self image, and can scare the bejeezus out of us. Stress stress stress! There is nothing like stress to either make us as horny as hell or drop the libido to zero. I think it is a survival thing. I am sure that when you get over this immediate hurdle of learning about what is happening POP-wise, and getting some control over it, sex will be more on your menu. My heart goes out to you while you sort out your marriage. Just remember you are not your vagina. And love is love. And it is all hard sometimes. A crisis can be a catalyst to better things marriage-wise, and move progress along.

Louise

Hi JSS23

Yes, it is possible that your weight loss has contributed to POP, in the same way that women whose connective tissue is stretched by pregnancy can experience POP in the postpartum period. If you think of it like that your connective tissue should 'catch up' to the lesser amount of fat in your body in two years or so.

If you feel that walking is out of the question for now, swimming will conserve and build your cardio strength and whole body muscle strength, and burn calories too. This is the start for you of discovering all the ways you can get around difficulties, and becoming clever about how you care for and use your body.

Louise

Hi. I am also new to the forum and have had a Cystocele for about six weeks. I am not sure whether is is grade 2 or 3. At times it does peep out but mostly it is tucked just inside. I am interested to know whether or not the posture can fix this when it is this advanced.
At first I had a ring pessary fitted but it hurt the whole time and I had lots of discharge, so two weeks ago the urogyno removed it, and said that my only alternative is now surgery. Of course I do not want to have surgery and I have been trying to do the Posture but not sure if I have it right. I have read the blog and constantly practise it. My DVD and book have not arrived yet so I am trying to rely on what I read here and in the FAQ. I am also feeling like I am running out of time because I am booked in for the urodynamic testing and some other test in two weeks.
My main question and reason for writing however is to ask whether other people use oestrogen cream? I have been told that it is essential to use it twice a week to rebuild the vaginal tissue and to make the area strong in readiness for the surgery. However I am really afraid of using the cream. There are massive warnings in the pack about it causing cancers, heart attack and stroke. I have also read these on the internet. Also after the two weeks I did use it I got a brown discharge from both of my nipples, so stopped it immediately. I have never had this happen before and the only new change was the cream. Once I stopped the cream three weeks ago, the discharge also stopped, so I am fairly sure that the ovestin cream caused it. I am 62 years old and well past menopause so this should not have occurred. The urogyno said I was silly not to use ithe cream, and that I had to go away and have a good think. I am either to have surgery or put up with using oestrogen cream for my whole life. Her parting words were "let me know" which choice you make.
So I also asked the pelvic floor physio who also said it was essential to help the healing, and that I wouldn't have reactions from using it. What do other people think about using Ovestin cream? Are there other alternatives that will help the vagina to heal? I actually started to ulcerate from using the pessary which I was told originally to keep in for 3 months and then come back to get it cleaned and checked. That seems to be the Australian way. From what the urogyno said, the reason why I started to ulcerate was because I didn't use the Ovestin. So I am in a quandry. I am supposed to use it, but cannot bring myself to do it.

Of course I also have to do nonstop kegels. I am trying to learn the new kegels that Christine has outlined, but I seem to be a slow learner.
Thanks for listening and I would love to hear what other people have experienced and think about using oestrogen creams as part of the process.

Hi Spamelah

You've got a lot goin' on, girl. As a wise woman said to me the other day, "They don't call it the Change for nothing." I am now three years past my last menstrual period, and I think I now know what caterpillars go through.

There they are, munching away on someone's broccoli plants, going at it hell for leather, and they suddenly feel a bit tired and stiff, so they spin a little swag/bed, have a sleep, and next thing they know their swag has gone completely stiff, and split right down the middle. They spread their little stubby green feet out and discover that they have turned all long, brown and hairy and have grown beautiful coloured wings, that kind of get in the way when they try and walk along a stem, and they suddenly feel inflexible and crunchy, rather than velvety smooth and acrobatic. They don't have chompers for eating broccoli leaves any more. They just want to flutter around, looking for sex and sipping nectar from flowers with a single long proboscis. They no longer turned on by sitting on broccoli leaves and eating them up. They want to float on the wind, and meet other butterflies. It is all very puzzling.

Does this sound at all familiar??

I have gradually become interested in history which never made sense before; and I can no longer abide telling white lies just to make sure I don't offend anyone. After a perimenopausal discovery of orgasm and several years of making the best of that, my desire for sex has plummeted over the last couple of years. Physical discomfort is a factor, but it was never unsurmountable, thanks to Christine's Bliss Balm. I don't really 'understand' the rest of it. Yes, I know about how the different hormone levels change, and the effect these changes have in the hypothalamus, pituitary, adrenal axis, and in my organs, but it all seems so theoretical. The trouble is that I am not really missing sex at all, but, like you, I am a bit worried about the effect on Mr Penetrative Sex = Love, and how to say "Sorry, but no. I still love you but sex is not part of it any more".

*I have morphed into a different person, which is kinda interesting!*

We are in the middle of trying to work out what has happened, and to work out what to do next. Suddenly there isn't a script for the next chapter of our relationship. I see lots of elderly single women who seem to be getting on with life, having decided that marriage is all too hard, and I see lots of lovely old couples who seem to be like Tweedledum and Tweedledee, living in little cottages and playing bingo a lot. I don't particularly want to fit in either camp, nor do I fit.

It certainly is an interesting journey. How will it all pan out? I'll tell you in twenty years. Meanwhile I am just going to fasten my seatbelt and go for the ride.

Hey, don't get all het up about the scoliosis. You may find that it ceases to be a problem, once Whole Woman posture is automatic. If you try and straighten out a multi-curved branch, in order to make it stick out less in a particular direction and be more upright, what happens? It twists. If you allow your body to take the shape that its creator intended, and accept your belly, it may straighten. My back pain, SIJ problems and ragged lumbar discs are a thing of the past, now. No promises, but you might find all sorts of positive effects.

Louise

Hi Dionysius, I understand your doubts. I had a week of Vagifem (which may the same type of oestrogen as Ovestin - not sure) pessaries prior to a PAP smear after having an 'unsatisfactory' previous PAP six months earlier.

Lordy, lordy, I ended up starting to have hot flashes during the day, which I had never had before. They stopped as soon as I stopped using the pessaries.

I am a bit doubtful about the need for a doctor to clean a pessary every three months. I think if you can't manage it yourself and remove it when it is not needed, it is serving the doctor instead of serving you. However, as you say, it is hard to get it in place properly yourself. It is a foreign body in the vagina. That's why it makes the discharge. Your vagina is trying to get rid of it. Managing the discharge and keeping your vaginal tissues strong enough so that the vagina doesn't ulcerate, and that you can get it in and out, is a big challenge. Here's hoping you can eventually manage without the pessary, by amending your posture, diet, clothing, exercise, and how you use your body for everyday tasks, to keep your pelvic organs forwards, supported on bone, so they don't try and escape.

Whole woman sees no point in doing Kegels all day. Whole Woman posture stretches the pelvic floor muscles tight. You will learn how in Saving the Whole Woman. It is quite hard to get the pelvic floor to contract because it is already stretched tight. There is no point in doing them. There is an article somewhere on the site written by Christine, called The New Kegels. See if you can find it and download it. There is no research evidence at all that Kegels will fix all but the most mild prolapse.

Gotta sleep now.

Louise

Hey Spamelah - I haven't chimed in on this thread yet, you've gotten so many wonderful replies....but I wanted to say that you are really my hero for making some noise with the folks at your gym! Give 'em an earful, girl! While it's quite true that your prolapse was probably years in the making, there is no excuse for professionals who do this kind of work with women every day, to claim ignorance of something this widespread where they can unknowingly do so much harm. Good grief, it's a virtual epidemic, yet so well-hidden that training professionals are not exposed to it? Shameful. Anyway, love your posts and I think you are going to absolutely nail this WW stuff. It's the only way to go, and you are well on your way. - Surviving

Wow, that is great news. Wouldn't it be great if I felt BETTER in two years when the connective tissue down there has tightened up or done whatever it is going to do? The way my doctor explained it to me, a tendon or something in there actually sort of broke or snapped, and there was no other remedy for it but the surgery (which I of course am refusing). But maybe that's not really how it happens...I actually was hoping to knock off another ten pounds or so but thought "yikes, that will just make things WORSE!" But maybe I can and working with the exercises and the posture things might settle down. I have been really trying to focus on the posture and I already feel better, without even having exercised much except for "the new Kegels" over the past few days. I surely don't feel as panicked about this whole thing as I did the first day or two after I got the diagnosis, thanks to all of you who have responded to my queries!

I am mulling over swimming vs. walking and trying to figure out what I will actually DO. What I'd like to do is a modified version of my much-loved old Richard Simmons Sweatin' to the Oldies tapes. They are so no-impact and designed for older/less fit people. I think if I just avoid some of the bending from the waist and walk in place in those parts, it might work. Easier than swimming (freezing in the winter) and walking (where I live is very charming, a 16th century Mexican village, but the streets are cobblestone and hell on your feet and ankles!) Like I said, considering my options!

Hey Louised hang on a minute there girl, three years past menopause but still in your fifties, aren’t you? Don’t be precipitate; you are a thinker after all. Thinkers in my experience long to throw their hands up and just for once fall into the emotion of things. But they tend to hate themselves in the morning when they do.

Remember, there are three responses to stress/fear/shock/change; there’s flight or fight, but there is also faint. Just faint a little, hold still and think these things through. You do have a few choices here.
You have changed. But your husband has not. That is your immediate problem. There is probably only one question here: How much latitude can you allow each other on that in order to save your relationship?

Look, I live in a retirement area and I have been so saddened to met these sad lonely people living alone, estranged from their families and listening to talk back radio as seemingly their only outlet because they were at some stage in their thirty something year marriages unable to comprise, take a hit and save their relationship. I have also been amazed at the number of couples younger than my husband and I who tell us in just casual conversation ‘well you don’t have sex after your middle fifties do you” (and there has been no whisper of prolapse in these situations.)

If the call of the butterfly offers you new bounties and worlds and love and freedom and prosperity and little hurt to your loved ones then go for it, but if it is a desperate fantasy of what you could do if your relationship fails and you can’t quite visualize where the butterfly will spend that night, then I suggest you ignore its siren call until you truly do have no choice. Then the risk is all.

Best wishes, Fab

Dear jSS23
I would continue on with the weight loss although 130 pounds does not sound all that heavy for a 5' person. It's just that I found losing the menopause weight gain made me feel better in every way. Hey, how about proper tie up shoes for your cobblestone streets or a nice trip to the countryside a few times a week?

Must admit I am no fashion queen and boots and socks and three quarter length pants don't worry me as a sin against fashion as it would a lot of people.
best wishes on your journey, Fab

Oh how I adore you, dear ones. W'eve just made our "best ever" (we always say that) mead. Our truly sacred food that contains within it the work of our local bees, the work of our local apple growers, and yes, our work as well. So...forgive me if I'm a bit "in my cups".

Some women and men are fortunate enough to weather this change...when one falls off an hormonal cliff while the other struts along. It takes a certain amount of wakefulness to understand that sex is not "everything". There is other work to be done!

What to do?

For a man to take a second and third wife is more *human* than 2 people trying to straddle the cliff together! It has always been so! If not that, then stretch with me spiritually, for that is the work reserved for these years.

Isn't our nest magical? Aren't you beginning to see that you've lived your entire life for these years? Remember! Remember yourself...which could take a lifetime.

If you can't see that, I will be just grand. On my own...strong...whole.

Friday poetry

Song to Mead
Book of Taliesin XIX

I WILL adore the Ruler, chief of every place,
Him, that supports the heaven: Lord of everything.
Him, that made the water for every one good,
Him, that made every gift, and prospers it.
May Maelgwn of Mona be affected with mead, and affect us,
From the foaming mead-horns, with the choicest pure liquor,
Which the bees collect, and do not enjoy.
Mead distilled sparkling, its praise is everywhere.
The multitude of creatures which the earth nourishes,
God made for man to enrich him.
Some fierce, some mute, he enjoys them.
Some wild, some tame, the Lord makes them.
Their coverings become clothing.
For food, for drink, till doom they will continue.
I will implore the Ruler, sovereign of the country of peace,
To liberate Elphin from banishment.
The man who gave me wine and ale and mead.
And the great princely steeds, beautiful their appearance,
May he yet give me bounty to the end.
By the will of God, he will give in honour,
Five five-hundred festivals in the way of peace.
Elphinian knight of mead, late be thy time of rest.

I don't mind a taste of fermented wine myself to celebrate another glorious week.

My the wind be at your back, Fab

http://www.maryjones.us/ctexts/t19.html

In Islam, men are allowed four wives with the condition that they are able to treat them all equally (with regards to physical/financial means-- if their heart sways more towards one than the other, which is only expected, that is fine so long as they dont act out on that). I always found this ruling extremely difficult to accept. One guy for one girl, everyone knows that! But the more I live life, the more I see there is wisdom in it. Almost all -I can think of only 2 exceptions - of the post menopausal women I know have a relationship with their husbands that I would hope to God I never have. If there was one word I could use to describe these womens' feelings towards their husbands, it would be 'impatient'. I feel as though they are at a point where they are just totally, completely bored from them. They want to move on, but they still have these needy man-children to take care of. My mother in law has these early morning coffee gatherings at her house where a bunch of 50-60 some year old women sit around and complain about their husbands and how annoying they are! It's almost comical.

Then there are the women whose husbands have another wife (I cant recall if I have ever met someone whose husband is married to more than 2 - these are hard times lol). They actually like their husbands. i dont know what the secret is.. is it having another woman to compete against? Is it not having to see him as often? Btw, usually, the guy who is set upon marrying another wife will usually do so when his first wife is still young, not when she is post menopause and no longer interested in sex. Its (usually) not what people imagine, a Petraeus-Broadwell sort of thing, no.

After thinking about this a lot, I'm nearing the conclusion that it is actually the woman who wins out in the end! When she's reached those golden years, she wont be the only one having to cater to her husband. There will be another one, maybe younger, maybe older, maybe the same age - who cares, she carries half (or a third, or a fourth!) of the responsibility. And everyone ends up being a whole lot cheerful with one another. Now I just have to make sure my husband never ever comes across this post. ;-)

I love it.

Fab

No, it wasn't a secret way of telling you all that I am flitting off and leaving my husband. It was about literal metamorphosis. I thought it was all in my head, but it was not. The Change is physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

I am a different woman. My husband is married to a different woman. No wonder the ground is shifting! I just wasn't expecting it to shift that much. It may keep shifting, for all I know. I just wonder where it will end. It is a bit like being a teenager, knowing I cannot go back, but not quite knowing what to expect in the future. Hopefully we will be able to adapt to it.

Perhaps the coffee ladies are doing what ladies of a certain age have always done, and there is nothing wrong with it? Complaining about your husbands among a group of women is only a teensy weensy bit different from sitting around with a group of women trying to figure out why we react to them the way we do, why they react to us the way they do, how men think, how to figure them out, and how to live best with them! It is just trying to make sense of stuff we don't understand.

When a whole group of women find the *same* thing with husbands, chances are that there is a process happening that they *and* their husbands don't understand, or cannot adapt to. We are never too old to learn.

(Of course, men change too, even if it is a reaction to what is happening to us. So that's a double whammy to deal with.)

I'll just keep trying to figure it out, and go with the flow of my emerging self.

:-)

This thread has gotten really wild, but before I forget, I wanted to comment to JSS23 about trying to decide between swimming and walking. Please, do both.

Swimming is a fabulous, healthy, prolapse-friendly activity. You should do as much of it as you can. HOWEVER, where your prolapse is concerned, walking will do much more. It is when we are upright that the serious work of prolapse maintenance is happening. Walking a lot, in very mindful posture, will help to train your body and mind in this work. The more you do, the better your posture will be, and the better your prolapse will be. - Surviving

Congrats....this is a new beginning ! Sounds like you are on the right path. Best wishes to you

Yes, keeping belly relaxed was definitely the hardest adjustment for me, and required constant correction. All of this actually does become habit, but that can be hard to believe at the beginning. You can now start to build on your early successes, keeping in mind that not every day will be a good day. I did some heavy work yesterday and really felt the bulge. Today I did a solid 2-mile posture walk and I'm feeling great. Your body is in a constant state of change. You needn't fear the symptoms. Keep trying to go without the pessary when you feel up to it. The feedback you'll get from your body is invaluable in this journey. - Surviving

Try sitting with legs apart and sloping slightly down so that the weight is more on to you groin and inside leg area, to release sitting pressure on you vulva/vagina area. Yes wide! Easily done at the computer, possibly not so easy at the wheel.

Fab

Not strictly true, Spamelah. When I get in the car it is usually for 45-60 minutes, so it is worth setting your car seat up so you can use WW posture while driving.

Use the Search box to find out about what you can do to your car seat for WW Posture. Driving gives me no trouble at all, unless I have not emptied my bladder all day. If this happens I usually have 'key in the lock syndrome' when I get out of the car, and need a pee RIGHT NOW!

L

Agree with Louise...for a long time after I started this work, I ignored my spine's needs while I was driving. Nowadays I always, at the very least, keep something behind the small of my back, even for a 20-minute drive. This depends on the car, as well; some car seats give more support than others. But I don't think any car seats go far enough. - Surviving

I think that Spamelah and I were having a joke about legs stretched wide while driving.

Spamelah, just keep your eyes wide open.

Well ladies. I don't know. It's probably not for me :)
I don't need a second wife, I need an Alice. You all remember Alice from the TV sitcom The Brady Bunch? She was the live in house keeper that cooked and cleaned and supported and loved the whole family. I can see how a second wife would make a family more of a community and less isolated perhaps, but I don't share well.
Am I just naive? We've been married 12 almost 13 years now. And honestly, it's just been getting sweeter and sweeter as we grow up together. I'm counting on him to keep me grounded through all the hormonal ups and downs just as he has for all the pregnancy rage and baby blues and foggy mindedness and exhaustion and heck, even prolapse, that comes with this whole 'mom gig'.
and sure, sometimes things suck, but then we grow again and expand and make room for the new us. No one is perfect and certainly not me! But he's who I wanted all those years ago and who I still want even more so now.
Is all that going to end? Say it is not so!

I'm just reading this thread for the first time since I posted in it. I lost track of it and figured I wouldn't want to re-read what I posted "under the influence" anyway - ha!

This is the most special women's circle ever! I know the fairies are with us...even a mulch fairy!!

Thank you all so very much...Fab, your piece was amazing! And Alemama...you will be that old couple in the forest. The truly blessed.

I feel like we are in the shelter of each other.

Christine

Hi Span (and everyone!),

You mentioned the feeling like your abdomen has separated frmo your body and looking 4 mos pregnant. i i feel the exact same way. Before i knew i had a prolapse, i knew something was wrong but that was how i described how my body was feeling. it feels like i have no control over my lower abdomen anymore. Does anyone feel the same way? or know what the heck is going on there?

Thank you!

Shortcake, have you begun working on posture? This is really a whole-body thing. You need to get those organs forward into the lower belly and this can be a challenging concept for so many of us who have been trying to "suck it in" all our lives (which is at least partly what got us into this pickle in the first place). Pulling up the chest strongly keeps that relaxed belly from feeling floppy. It takes time to restore this lower lumbar curvature, but eventually you will feel all the parts of your body working together. It has been an amazing transformation for me. - Surviving

Thank you, Surviving.

Well....i think i am doing the posture but im not 100% sure that i am doing it right. Honestly, i feel like i cant even control my lower belly anymore so it is kind of always in a relaxed position anyway (like it would take a lot of effort for me to even try to suck it in if i wanted to). My biggest hurdle is trying to keep the posture while sitting.....i work at a desk job and i have terrible posture at work, i literally catch myself hunched over my desk. I only have a urethrocele at the moment so i dont know if that factors at all. But i know that unfortunately it is really rare to have a urethrocele without a cystocele so i am trying to do everything i can to prevent further prolapse. I was only recently diagnosed and am going for further testing before i have my follow-up so i dont even know whats going on; ill have a lot of questions to ask. Thank you so much for the advice. I started going to doctors, not feeling right 4 years ago and not one of them even mentioned the possibility of this. all they saw was a young, healthy-looking woman who has never had kids and they just wrote me off as a hypochondriac. I cant swell on the past but its so saddening to think i was actively seeking out care for so long and it could have been prevented. But all i can do now is focus on going forward and preventing further damage.