just having a bad day

Submitted by howdidthishappen on January 4, 2007 - 2:34pm
Body: 

having a bad day here. been feeling pretty constant rectal pressure all day long and, well, it's depressing as can be to me. as well as really uncomfortable. not really aware of the vaginal bulge piece but -- yeesch -- the pain in my ass is literally a pain in my ass today.

yes, i've been out and about with my 7 year old all day, but come on! is this really how it's going to look when i have a day wandering the city with my daughter? i'm thinking i'm going to head to the gym now only because i think it might do something for my mental health. i don't feel tired or weary at all, so it seems like an okay idea.

but the way things shift for me so dramatically from day to day...i find this incredibly depressing at the moment. should i be concerned about the rectal pressure? i hope i can assume it will ease up. i tried pushing some extra bowel movement out while supporting the bulge through the vagina. i hope that's okay to do sometimes and won't cause damage if i am supporting it mightily with my fingers -- can someone let me know about that?

sorry about this pitiful post. i'm feeling sorry for myself at this very second. i am thinking it will always be like this, though i know that isn't true. i know this will improve. i just wish i got what made things feel so yucky today when yesterday i felt so well.

susan

Lilly Anne

January 4, 2007 - 6:39pm

Susan:

I am so sorry to hear that you are having a bad day. Yesterday was my bad day. I woke up this morning feeling ok. I wonder why one day can be ok/normal and another day can be hell? In my case my day is determined on if I can go, completely. I find it utterly amazing that my entire day depends on a bm.

I am seeing my gastro tomorrow. I really hope that he has something else or additional that I can take.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you!

-Lilly Anne

mommynow

January 5, 2007 - 8:54pm

I have had many bad days lately. I was reading a magazine today that was talking about the ill effects of synthetic iron and I am starting to think that it is the iron pill that I have been instructed to take after being diagnosed anemic. I just went to the Health Mart and bought a low dose organic liquid iron. I hope that makes a difference. I have yet to try eliminating wheat and meat but will once I finish nursing. Other than that I eat very healthy. I get the same rectal pressure that you describe and when I do a self exam it doesn't seem like my prolapse is that bad so I am really confused? I sometimes feel that the posture has helped my other two prolapses so much that they are really forward and not pushing back against the rectocele?? Although I am not happy that you are suffering too it does give me some comfort to know that I am not alone in this struggle. Cyber hugs :)

howdidthishappen

January 6, 2007 - 5:29am

yeah, it's rough when things are so up and down, isn't it? and for me, the other piece is just not getting what makes for a good day and what makes for a bad one. i mean, yesterday was so much better -- out and abaout, walking a load and really had no discomfort. i have to say, after i wrote the above post, i did go to the gym and worked up a vigorous sweat on a bike for 45 minutes and things started to feel MUCH better after that. (proving christine's point that exercise is extremely helpful?) anyways, can't figure it out.

one thing i want to mention to you, though, is that i have found when i eliminate wheat from my diet, i always feel much better -- in every way. i know that you're still nursing -- perhaps you can just try to switch that one thing -- even keep the meat in which i do, though only very very rarely eat red meat and eat lots of fish. maybe spelt products? ezekial bread (the one wheat bread that's okay with me -- sprouted wheat -- works for me.) i wouldn't consider myself someone with a wheat allergy at all but there something to it that it makes me feel better, even the rectocele.

we'll see how today goes. hopefully okay. we got some very stressful news yesterday so i'm hoping it won't express itself by making the rectocele more uncomfortable. we'll see. i'm working on it and reminding myself it really will all be okay.

let me know how you are.

xsusan

mommynow

January 6, 2007 - 9:01am

Yesterday was a better day for me too. I still can't figure out what makes me worse and better. It seems out of my control but once I'm done nursing I play with my diet more. The reason I can't now is because I can't eat any dairy/soy at all in my diet because my lo is allergic still. I lost a lot of weight to the point of starting to get sick no matter how much other healthy food I ate. Once I tried to not eat meat I got anemic and when I started to get sick. The doctor said I wasn't getting enough calories. I have a really high metabolism to start so I just decided to eat like I am until I'm done nursing which is soon. I didn't want to stop nursing because I love it and I agree with the poster that said I will have time to heal after I'm done but I'll never get this precious time with my daughter back. I will check out ezekial bread. Is it at the regular grocery store? We are headed to the health mart today which is far away from my house so I am going to stock up on some wheat free foods. I agree about the exercise. I used to do power pacing twice a week and felt great. My prolapse didn't necessarily feel better but my body did. Yoga really makes me feel good as well as swimming. Walking doesn't but I always have a stroller to push. Even though I hold the posture I can only go so fast etc. so some time I'd like to just get out there and walk alone. I do get so frustrated that my rectocele doesn't seem to be responding to the posture...
I hope you feel good today despite your bad news. I try to remind my self that it will be okay but then I have to fight the feelings of longing to walk, run, etc. without being uncomfortable

alemama

January 6, 2007 - 4:57pm

hey mommynow- you have probably already researched this but just in case you haven't....there is a way to combine food to aid in iron absorption-
I am pretty sure you are not supposto have iron and calcium at the same time-
and I think a b vitamin deficiency shows up as low iron too.
B

howdidthishappen

January 6, 2007 - 5:53pm

hey mommynow:

i'm wondering if you are having any issues with constipation. iron is notorious for making one constipated. i have extremely extremely heavy periods and have used floradix when i need to -- you can get it at the health food store. it's an iron liquid that's not constipating. is that what you just got for yourself?

i'm feeling such an urge to push a bowel movement these last few days. it's making me a little nuts! i mean, i'm going every morning, but i just have the urge and it's taking a lot of control for me to not sit on the toilet and, well, push till it all comes out (i say delicately.) i wonder what can be done to deal with this specifically or if it will pass as i continue this work.

anyways, hope you're doing alright today.

susan

Christine

January 6, 2007 - 6:29pm

This is entirely my own wild hunch, but I don’t believe pushing WHILE LIFTED OFF THE TOILET SEAT is detrimental at all. In fact, it might even help straighten the rectal/anal passage out somewhat. What a scream it would be if pushing to have a bm were found to actually iron out a rectocele. Pushing out a bowel movement is very natural as witnessed in dogs, cats, etc. What I’ve been able to observe in my own body is that the vagina and lower bowel are very well separated – mechanically. I learned long ago that a bowel movement is just that and does not affect the uterus/vagina much at all. Only someone with severe UP could know this. There is certainly some descent, but nothing like you would imagine when naturally pushing a bm. All bets are off when stopping this flow of energy at the hips by staying on the seat. Ditto for women who have scar tissue between the two passageways.

granolamom

January 6, 2007 - 8:18pm

we get it in trader joes

and re: food combos for iron absorption, I think you're right, avoid iron with calcium, but vit C is supposed to help with iron absorption

mommynow

January 7, 2007 - 9:33pm

Yes Susan I got floradix. It is a low dose iron liquid that is organic. I just started taking it the other day and I have to be more diligent about eating in a way that aids absorption. Christine gave a good idea of squeezing a lemon into my water with a meal. I also went to the natural health food store and bought some wheat free foods as I am going to try that now. Once I'm done nursing I will try no meat too but I wan t to do one thing at a time so I can see what helps. I think I tried too many things at once before so I couldn't tell what helped? I also get the feeling that I need to push even though I've gone already.

I was surprised to read your response about pushing Christine and really relieved to hear your perspective because I can honestly say that I have not consciously pushed once since giving birth! I have been so afraid. I wait until I know I will go naturally without having to push and lift off the seat even for that. I am so scared to push. I don't think I have any muscle left in that area since I don't "work it out" lol!

What do you think Susan? Are you going to try?

mommynow

January 7, 2007 - 9:36pm

okay I am taking a calcium supplement right now too because I am nursing and worry that I don't get enough calcium with my diet change because of my daughter's allergy. are you saying that I shouldn't take a calcium supplement at all because it hurts iron absorption or that I shouldn't take it around the same time?

Christine

January 7, 2007 - 9:56pm

HA-HA-ha…that’s funny, Mommynow. And it tells me you see the innate wisdom in pushing naturally. Honestly, I think it’s only because I’ve been sewing clothes for so long that I’ve been able to see the logic in so much of this…the guts are not a lot different than fine-spun, woven fabric. Since I posted this bit of inspiration about pushing, I’ve been wondering if pushing naturally (half-squat) is what is making the difference in recovery rates between women here. Some of the rectoceles are straightening right out and others are far more obstinate.

howdidthishappen

January 7, 2007 - 11:49pm

christine:

as i really need to do whatever i can here (having a string of rough days...grrrr....) can you be specific in the squatting while having a bowel movement? i wait until i need to go then sit to let it just move out. however, i'm thinking i might want to start taking a different approach. the problem at the moment, is that to put all my weight on my quads in a half squat -- well,i just don't have that leg strength yet. what would you suggest? the rectocele has really been bothering me these last few days and i need to trouble shoot here. perhaps i don't have the right idea of how to posture myself to let a bowel movement pass.

thanks as always.

susan

ricearoni

January 8, 2007 - 7:36am

I'm a little confused about what you're considering "pushing naturally". Is that just letting it all come out, your body doing all the pushing, or pushing like when you're giving birth, just not as hard? I'd love to know what you're meaning that is possibly straightening out rectoceles. Thanks!

alemama

January 8, 2007 - 9:54am

I don't know a whole lot about this stuff- my last pregnancy I wanted a home birth and I was very anemic. The midwife gave me 2 months to get it up so I tried for a month with just food- which did not work - so then I got serious and started researching- I first took hemoplex but I had a reaction to the Niacin so I had to quit and went to floridex which didn't work for me and finally to a gentle iron only suppliment. I took my calcium in the morning and my iron at night and I did combo vitamin C with my iron and Vitamin D with my calcium. I also ate iron rich foods all the time and when the checked my iron it was fantastic- they said they had never seen such a rebound.

alemama

January 8, 2007 - 10:23am

when our first baby was being born I was told to push like I was pushing out a large bm. I had no idea what they were talking about- I had never really "pushed out" a bm before just did what came naturally. Since this whole rectocele thing I've been paying more attention to how my kids void and it is interesting- I wouldn't say they "push out" a bm but they do have a moment where their tummies bear down a tiny little bit- they don't hold their breaths though or turn red faced. I think it is the contraction of the colon and sphincter maybe and they just go with it-any thoughts on this observation?

Christine

January 8, 2007 - 1:23pm

I have to reiterate that this is just an idea at the moment. The key points to consider are (1) a healthful diet so that the intestine has full neurologic use of its motor function and valves to make a natural bowel movement even possible. Diverticulosis is a very common disease in the Western world. For those not familiar with it, diverticulosis is when the gut forms sacs, or outpouchings, anywhere along its length. These can trap stool and become inflamed– leading to diverticulitis. It’s interesting we hear so much about IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and virtually nothing about diverticulitis anymore – a “big” disease in 1970s and 80s. Those who study such things tell us diverticulosis was unheard of before the age of refined food. Normal bowel function may take years to recover.

(2) Waiting for the urge to push. In no way am I suggesting straining. B’s observation of natural bowel action is right on. When the urge comes it is natural to push it out by raising intraabdominal pressure. It is also natural that the pelvic diaphragm pulls forward (into a “kegel”) upon completion. It is a total pathology that the push/don't push thing became such a big deal in obstetrics. When a healthy woman is in a natural position to deliver and senses the need to push, no amount of dictating if and how and when can change the course of events - it can only create stress.

(3) Do not let the downward flowing energy of evacuation be stopped at your hips by the hard rim of the toilet seat. As Jonathan at naturesplatform.com has rigorously studied, chair-sitting to have a bowel movement is completely unnatural and one of the root causes of many common diseases, including prolapse. I believe the half squat is natural for women, primarily because if we squat completely urine runs down our perineum. Also, we spend a good portion of our lives pregnant, when a full squat becomes extremely difficult. It is not difficult to imagine how the rectum must contort when strong, downward moving energies are reversed back up through the gut.

We all love our white porcelain toilets (sorry Jonathan!) and we can sit there until the urge is strong. At that point, just rock up slightly onto your feet. Your thighs will become very strong and well-able to hold you. Rock forward and sit back down as needed.

Christine