Really embarrasing question here

what position are you in? i have never noticed that happening while lying down, but perhaps if i were standing up??!! personally i find that orgasms -- alone or with my husband -- help the arrangements down there.
are you about to get your period? sometimes before my period, bulges are just more pronounced & uncomfortable.

i'm glad that at least the posture & exercises are helping you to feel better during the day. good luck to you.

--mary ann

that bulge moves - and it's not like OSHA is in the room- as long as you have enough lube he'll slide right in and the bladder will move up into your pelvic cavity.
It will be ok - maybe if you were up front about it and worked together....it could be fun or funny - depending on what happens.
I think the worst thing you could do it be stressed and worried- that is a big buzz kill.

amen, sister alemama!

yes, it moves. bulges move. i haven't experienced any problems, no discomfort or irritation in the least. just good old sex. my husband is of the i-just-don't-notice-it variety. though, let me tell you, i have made him seriously feel around for it because it just BLOWS MY MIND he doesn't feel it. oy. the only thing he has said about actual sex is that it feels slightly more snug which is obviously certainly not a problem. as for me, it's really no big deal -- physically. psychologically, it was weird at first. but i'm over that now.

jump in the pool! the water's fine!

all kidding aside, it will be okay. really. hugs to you.

susan

that's how I see the 'do you notice the prolapse?'
either he says 'no honey you look fine' and of course I don't believe him. or he says 'hmmm, turn to the left, let me see now....' and I'm irritated that he doesn't say I look great without looking. or he says 'yeah, a bit' and he doesn't live to see tomorrow.

so I was real hesitant to ask about the prolapse. finally of course I couldn't hold it in (the question I mean, not the prolapse!) and he said he honestly had no idea what I was even talking about. the glazed look when I tried to describe it lent some credibility.

so now, this is the way I see it....he has access to ONE vagina, he'd better love it the way it is. the self consiousness I feel is MY problem and that was something I had to work through on my own.

I don't know where the prolapse goes during sex. I try not to think about it. but I do know nothing falls out. and it doesn't hurt or get in the way either.

so yeah, to echo susan, the water's fine!

I just posted elsewhere on this site about sex. You have all totally reassured me.

Thank you!

- Lilly Anne

I guess I'll really just be backing up what others have said, but sex for me has been just as good as before bub, if not better. The cystocele doesn't affect sex for me at all. I would have thought so too, but I can't feel any difference during sex, and neither can my husband (and he's pretty honest about these things). I find it good to lie down for a bit afterwards to rest the area but apart from this I don't feel any worse after sex either.

I also thought surely my husband could see things were different but he honestly didn't - I really don't know why - maybe it is with lying down you can't see the bulge? I was embarrassed about it at first but I eventually got my husband to take a look. I insisted things must look different but he insisted back that they look the same to him.

I hope that's reassuring. I took things slowly at first. I wouldn't let my husband look or touch too much with his hands or anything, so this might also help with getting confident with it all!

My Dr literally told me that I would come back for surgery when I got sick and tired of everything and then my husband would "like it much better since everything is so loose down there"...I was HORRIFIED...I left feeling like --I don't know what...but he is dead wrong...my husband says I am actually tighter and more snug than I ever was...I totally echo Susan's comment...Also I FEEL more...I think certain things are in the "right" place FINALLY and I can feel intercourse to a degree I NEVER COULD! So the DR couldn't have been more 'wronger' or more ruder!!! Also...when this happens a husband who loves his wife feels MORE protective towards her not LESS and that is nice feeling to see my husband care so much about my physical safety and feelings. He makes sure I have his arm when we cross the street or there is ice etc. Very sweet.

Hi Patty

Hey, don't worry too much about it. This happens to me too. It was worrying the first time, until I realised that it was the 'bearing down when getting close to orgasm' that I had read about. It is quite involuntary which leads me to think that it is related to the involuntary pushing / bearing down that some members have described in the thread about To Push or Not to Push During Second Stage of Labour.

It seems to be quite different from the pushing that midwives often tell labouring women to do (the type that makes the eyes bulge)when the midwife thinks it is time to push. This voluntary pushing is what we think causes most of the fascia damage problems during birth.

*Think about where you think it comes from.* I think it comes from right down deep in the pelvis and buttocks. I don't think abdominal compression or abdominal muscles have anything to do with it for me, so it doesn't seem to be driven by intraabdominal forces, so it should not cause a problem. It feels to me like (risk of TMI here) my vulva and vagina are leaning towards what feels good, a bit like a cat arches its back when you stroke its back, or an animal leans towards a tree it is scratching against.

Yeah, the other ladies are right about what their partners notice (or don't notice). The bulge yields to my fingers, so sure as eggs it will yield to a penis, just the way a penis wants it to yield!

Cheers

Louise