Feeling discomfort, need support! :-(

What is going on with you?
are you still on meds for constipation?
how is your diet?
are you doing anything fun in your life right now?

Trust your instincts- do you feel that something more serious is going on? If you do- see someone. Have it checked out- peace of mind.
I do a guided meditation where you *listen* to your body. You could try this - ask your body some questions and then just relax and listen-
You could start with something easy- like your feet- and when you get an answer move upwards. It ends in a suggestion to meditate on a word that you feel suggests something that you are lacking- healing, forgiveness, vitality ....what ever comes to mind- and then you breathe that suggestion into the part of your body that you feel is asking for it.

You can handle the frustration. I know you can. It is amazing how much of this is emotional- mental energy and not so much physical.

Maybe the moisture you felt this morning was just vaginal secretions.

Do you like to read? If you do there are some pretty funny, good books that have been distracting me lately. Or you could go for something more serious-

Hope your day gets better.

Dear Lilly Anne,

Prolapse is still very new to you and it will take time – maybe years – to adjust to your new reality.

I have no way of knowing what your particular symptoms might mean, but can tell you that it is very common for prolapse to continue, even after beginning the postural work, until the organs find their natural resting places. For a great percentage of us this means a sizeable lump in front and back. This could almost be considered the norm in older women.

It is also common for women with significant cystocele to recall a period of time in the past when they leaked urine. That time subsides, however, as the bladder falls further back, kinking the urethra opposite to how it is normally positioned, but stopping SUI all the same.

Personally, I think it is a great blessing our anatomy does this, because even a large bulge that must be manually moved a bit to pee is far preferable to leaking with every cough or sneeze.

What goes on with your bowel is intimately connected with how your bladder and urethra function. We all experience this when the flow of urine is stopped during a bowel movement only to resume again afterward. All I can do is encourage a natural diet of good food and no worry. Alemama has good suggestions for you.

I came across this today and thought it might be useful in some way for those of us living with prolapse.

CODE OF THE SAMURAI

I have no parents; I make heaven and earth my parents.

I have no divine power; I make honesty my power.

I have no means; I make submission my means.

I have no magic power; I make inward strength my magic.

I have no body; I make fortitude my body.

I have no eyes; I make the flash of lightening my eyes.

I have no ears; I make sensibility my ears.

I have no limbs; I make promptitude my limbs.

I have no design; I make opportunity my design.

I have no miracles; I make The Way my miracle.

I have no principles; I make adaptability to all things my principles.

I have no friends; I make my mind my friend.

I have no enemies; I make incautiousness my enemy.

I have no armor; I make goodwill and righteousness my armor.

I have no castle; I make immoveable mind my castle.

I have no sword; I make ‘the sleep of the mind’ my sword.

Hi LillyAnne,

I SO agree with all that Christine and Alemama have said. Fear is really our enemy while living with prolapse. I know it is hard to not be fearful, I still struggle with this, and in fact have had a fear relapse the past few days. Truly though, you can't let the fear take over. (I know, easier said than done).

You say you can't find the prolapse at all so that's good I would imagine, in that there is no bulge. The main thing with the self exam I think is that if you bear down and feel ANY bulging or movement of the vagina, then that IS the prolapse. Generally women without prolapse do not bulge, or at least very minimally.

Deep breaths, be calm and you will be OK! x

hey lilly anne:

sounds like you're having a rough moment here. i gotcha. we all do. you know, i think as ukmummy so aptly put it, fear is, indeed, such a big factor here. i do know it is for me -- on the days (weeks?) that the fear is more intense, i am that much more hyper focused on the prolapse, seem to feel it more, and just have so much more roiling in my brain with it -- it then takes up all my brain space, you know? and then, it also really seems to feed on itself -- does that make any sense? the more i worry about it, the more i worry about it.

ugh. a vicious cycle that ends up leaving me freaked out and depleted.

i certainly don't have any answers here with this. i know the last couple of weeks have been easier for me, even when i had days or parts of days when i was aware the rectocele. i haven't been as overall freaked out about it and felt calmer that even if i felt the rectocele more, i would ease back into a more asymptomatic mode. and that has been useful for me and helped. how i got to that state of mind, though? honestly, i haven't a clue. really, not at all. i've been doing what i've been doing since november but i'm just in a more easeful place with it. i was thinking about it this afternoon about how good i felt all day and i just laughed to myself when i thought that no doubt, i will shift again at some point and i will find myself in a more tense place. hopefully, those spots will get smaller but...who can say? as christine said to you, you are really new to all this (as am i!) and it most definitely takes time to adjust to this.

(also just want to mention that sometimes, when i more aware of the odd sensations, i first tend to my posture and check in on that. if that needs correcting, i do that. and if i find myself still aware of any prolapse feeling, i can focus my attention to my belly and breathing into my belly and i find that helps to calm me and really shift my focus away from my prolapse -- sometimes, that's all i need to help things turn around for a bit.)

take care, sweetie. you've had a lot going on. how has eating been for you lately? have you been able to eat well or has that been difficult? i would think having a bowel movement everyday would be helpful. have i mentioned before adding organic black sesame seeds to foods which i'm finding really useful to have easy bowel movements? eating any beans or lentils these days? just curious about how that piece is going for you...i had a rough day last week after i had a meal that was...hm, well, let's say not helpful to me and my body. i felt it the next morning and it was quite a good reminder for me that eating well must remain one of the highest priorities for me. it's a good one for me to learn.

love to you, lilly anne.

xxsusan