What am I looking at down there?

Submitted by grace on April 9, 2007 - 10:50pm
Body: 

OK. I am confused and hoping for some wisdom... I have no idea how things looked down there before having my kids (I kick myself for this), but I do not know what to make of how things look down there now. I feel like I should have kept an archive of how my privates looked before and after each kid (easy enough with digital cameras). Maybe I should start that now (better late then never).

Anyway, When I look at pictures/sketches in books, they all show a "hollow" area (or an opening). Well, I do not have an opening down there (I started looking about a year ago). All I see in the vaginal opening is the uretha and then some "flesh". I always ask doctors about prolapse and they tell me I am fine. And I am fine -- I do not have the symptoms that I read about in other posts (fullness, low back pain, sensation of something falling out, etc.), but sometimes things just do not feel right and I have no way of describing it. So doctors tell me it's all in my head, everything is good. And I am happy to hear that, I am not complaining. Maybe it's because they do the exams so fast that I do not feel like they are really taking the time to look/evaluate it properly. It's not like I've been seeing doctors just because I am paranoid -- this is just something I bring up in my yearly exams.

I've looked at the self exam and I've probably done it 3-4 times in the past months. And I do not know what to make of it. That "flesh" I mentioned right after my uretha is neither soft nor hard -- maybe slightly softer than how my nose feels. First, I freaked out because I thought it was my cervix, but it is not because I cannot go around it -- but I can push it towards the front (which suggests it would be my bladder), but is that possible? I mean wouldn't the doctors have said something if it were? It actually feels pretty hard right around the entrance (I assume this is my pubic bone). Anyway, when I go past that the rest of the canal is very soft, really soft. And I do not think I can reach my cervix (because I do not feel anything like what is described as how the cervix would feel). If I bare down, I do feel this bulge move down just a bit, but not much -- it is right at the entrance anyway... I think what I see looks most like Fig 2 in the self exam, but that is uterine prolapse which I know is not the case with me. Maybe it is the start of a bladder prolapsing and I do not have any problems right now just because it is very slight. But would it be that low, right at the entrance if it is slight?

I will have my yearly check-up in about a month and a half. I will take a mirror with me this time and ask that the doctor explain everything to me. She'll probably think I am crazy, but I just want to know. Maybe it is my engineer head, but I just want to know what I am looking at down there. Whenever I do, it looks so complicated and not much like the pictures I can find on-line or in books that I cannot make much sense out of it. I feel like an idiot looking at a part of my body and not knowing what I am looking at!
I guess I don't really know why I am posting this or what my question is.... I'd like to know if anybody actually has an opening down there (or used to before prolapse)? Is it possible that I actually have a bladder prolapsing and not have any of the typical symptoms?
This ended up being a lot longer than I thought... Sorry about that...

I hope I do not upset anybody with this post. I do not want to give the impression that I am complaining when I do not have any discomfort -- I am just trying to understand my body and learn about my "female" parts as much as I can (not just for me, but for my good friends, my mom and especially for my two wonderful daughters). I just wanted to share my confusion with you. Thanks for listening...

Grace

MeMyselfAndI

April 10, 2007 - 2:35am

I am not sure about everything but the vagina is never a 'hold' as in an open chasm - It is a 'potential space' as in when something is inserted it is a space - But when nothing is - The sides come together again...

I know there is a fatty bit of slesh to the front - At first I thought 'What the heck is this' but it is just a pad of flesh covering the pubic bone I think.

I a - like you - wish I had paid more attention to down there before I had kids... Cos I never knew what it was like - Now i only know what it is like now...

Hopefully someone can tell us :)

granolamom

April 10, 2007 - 9:56pm

I found a website with pictures women have sent in of themselves. anyone who'd like a link can contact me, I feel funny posting it on the forum.

its interesting, because the pictures all look different. and I can spot a few prolapses, too.

but to answer your question, I have no idea really what we are 'supposed to' look like down there. also, its possible that while you're in a lithotomy position things look different to your dr. a thorough exam for prolapse should also be conducted with you standing up. things move around alot and change due to position. if you're flexible and have some good mirrors, you'll see a difference on your back, standing, bending over, etc

Therese

April 10, 2007 - 10:15pm

seem to have a handle on what to look for...I haven't a clue...
I feel the same way I did when I was a teenager and got a mirror out for the first time to "see"...all I could see was a mess of flesh...Ha! It all looked pretty tricky to me...HA!
You know what is funny though? I can't see what I am actually 'seeing' but I am extremely visual when someone says things verbally...you know like a dirty joke? I get this graphic image I have a hard time erasing...but anything unfamiliar I can look right at it and I am lost...I wonder what my problem is...ha!

alemama

April 10, 2007 - 10:30pm

what is the deal - how did we make it this far with no knowledge of our own selves or others?
goodness
and you are right books don't do justice with their pictorial representations.
I swear I can find more real photos of a damn sheep with a prolapse than humans

Christine

April 11, 2007 - 11:40am

I just posted a call for photos on the forum home page...check it out!

momof4

April 11, 2007 - 12:43pm

Hello grace First of all...I agree...WHY in the world didn't we look down there before having children!! :) (I just want to quickly give you my history so you know where I am coming from. 4 children in 3 years 10 months, the 2nd preg. was twins; all vaginal deliveries; didn't have any problems until after my 4th who is 14 weeks tonight; I was dx's with rectocele/cystocele at 6 wk chk up) I am not an engineer, but maybe I should've been according to my husband who is an engineer. I want to know everything about everything.

From what you described in the vaginal opening that is how I would describe my "down there" On monday, the 9th I had an appt. with a urogynecologist who specialized in pelvic organ prolapse. First of all, it was a female and second her bio listed using natural mechanisms to assist conditions.
She told me I am normal. She said, the problem sometimes isn't a problem but because no one looks down there before, they are surprised when they do look. She did a VERY thorough exam (not pleasant, but I wasn't looking for pleasant, I was looking for answers) She reassured me my uterus was beautiful, by bladder was fine and that I had a minimum rectocele (no cystocele)that would probably be back to normal within 9-10 months postpartum. I do have that horrible buldge like you mentioned usually at the end of a long day. I asked her a million questions :) and was very glad I made the appt. for my own mental well being.

Since you are not symptomatic and all those folds in that "potential" space are normal. And those folds get bigger after having children. It seems like you are "normal"

Also, she mentioned posture was very important and Kegels, but too many is NOT good and you should absolutely have an empty bladder when you do them.

I learned so much. Oh and I did get Christine's prepublication 2nd Edition and have read most of it. I learned a lot from that too!!! Not just about prolapse, but the pelvic area and how we can take care of it.
I could go on and on, but won't and can't. I started this post this morning and type inbetween raising my children :) so I will just post what i have so far
I will make sure my 3 girls look at themselves when they become women though!!!
momof4

annma

April 11, 2007 - 3:52pm

Could you share your urogynecologists name? Does she have a website? (Some do.)

granolamom

April 12, 2007 - 7:16am

for right now christine has requested that we don't name names on the forum. to share that sort of information you can contact each other via email. thanks : )

momof4

April 12, 2007 - 10:58am

Per granolamom and website preference I can only tell you what I did without giving a name. I went to the closest BIG city hospital and looked up on their website for their specialists. I feel that the bigger city hospitals, which are usually teaching hospitals as well, attrack the best of the best. Each MD had a little bio that listed some special qualities. There were many, many males, but only 2 females in my area. I made a self referral and made my appointment. I did drive an hour to see my dr. Again, I just had a lot of questions that I wanted answers. I feel that specialists have a vast and current knowledge base in this area. I hope that helps.

grace

April 12, 2007 - 11:17pm

Thanks everyone for all your responses. I am glad I am not alone in this. Your responses actually made me think a bit more about this and it just does not make sense to me that there could be a "black hole/canal" down there as suggested by sketches in books. I mean, wouldn't the vaginal walls have to be "bone (or at least cartlidge)-hard" to stay as an opening? Or do I have this totally wrong? My gut would tell me that everything would kind of sort of "stick" together and touch one another. For example, reference Fig 7 in Christine's book (1st edition, p.24). Bladder is sitting on top of the vagina, wouldn't the bladder just automatically/naturally (due to gravity in standing posture) lower itself down such that the front wall of the vagina would touch the rear wall? If so, I guess at what point does this "touching condition" become prolapse -- when you have symptoms of discomfort? If not, I guess all I can say is wow!
Are you laughing at me yet? This made me remember the time when I was a little girl and I asked my parents if people in the southern pole were standing upside down...

Again, thx for all your comments.

Grace

granolamom

April 13, 2007 - 6:30am

I think the vagina is supposed to be a closed tube, that is, unless there is something in it! In books, its typically shown as an open or hollow tube because its hard to draw a potential space. at least that's my guess.

the bladder does normally sit above the vagina, and yes, the front wall (I'm pretty sure - if not please someone correct me!) is in contact with the back wall, due to gravity and design.

when the bladder protrudes INTO the vaginal space due to prolapse, well that alters the shape of the vagina, now its got something in it (bladder, for example) and this creates a space in the vagina. maybe the reason some women get air in there?
and we all know that the vagina has lots of sensory receptors for stretch sensations, so we feel the pressure!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the 'touching sensation' is not prolapse. there isn't normally a sensation of the vaginal walls touching each other. the sensation you'd feel with a prolapse is that there's something INSIDE the vagina (ie bladder, uterus, rectum)

no one's gonna laugh at you. these are good questions. It took me a loooong time to figure out some of this.

and how DO those people on the south pole walk around upside down all day???