Trying to Make Sense of All This

Submitted by mumwithone on April 23, 2007 - 6:56am
Body: 

I have been sifting through hours of back posts on prolapse. I have to say I'm so glad to have found this and it's giving me the confidence to think about baby number two.

I'm about to order Christine's book/DVD as soon as the credit card's clear (thank God for hubby's overtime). Can't wait. I've already started to use the postures on the website and have to say it's already made a difference. I've sat through a movie three times without having to stop it to go to the loo - I can't tell you what a difference these small things make! But I'm sure you ladies all know what I mean.

Tell me if I'm asking questions covered in the book but I feel I don't even really know what's going on with my own body. I first went back to my obstetrician and told him how I felt heavy etc a few months after the birth. He said I had nerve damage from carrying the baby low in my pelvis and further damage was caused from delivering her. He said I could have surgery now and then have a caeser for baby number two or just go to physio now and worry about that later (I definitely didn't want to have option one). He never said the word prolapse.

Things just kept getting worse so I went and saw an ob/gyn specialising in urology almost a year ago and was assessed and did the Urodynamics tests. At the time she never mentioned the word prolapse, just said to me that surgery was too risky and that if I have another baby it might be a good thing because then I'll be worse and will be able to have the surgery - can you believe this was actually said to me??? And by a woman.

Anyway, she said my frequent urinating was a separate issue to my prolapse. She did the urodynamics test and put me on the drug Detrusitol for bladder spasming. I have taken myself off the drugs because apart from not doing much to help I felt 'out of it' all the time. I am still going to the physio and have seen some improvement with regard to urinating frequency but not with regard to the prolapse – in fact I see it more than ever now. The physio also had the opposite option, that the urinating and prolapse were related.

I had issues with having to go to the loo frequently and not being able to wait to go years before I became pregnant. I danced full-time for a while and had lower back pain (which I still have). I had urinary tract infections, cystitis and had to have a cystoscopy to improve bladder function. I’m wondering if it could be all linked, and if I had prolapse without knowing it even before baby??

Also, from what the ob/gynos have said, does it mean I’m very likely to get worse after having another baby? I just want to know what to be prepared for? Are there stats on this type of thing, or is it an unknown?

The ob/gyn I saw wrote a report for my GP and the GP told me that she had said I had ‘collapsed vaginal walls’. Is this a type of prolapse because I haven’t heard this term mentioned in the posts? People seem to refer mostly to uterus descent but I see my bladder. Gross, but I even checked it out and the opening I can see is definitely my bladder. So, I guess I just don’t understand what type of prolapse I have. I’m seeing my physio in May. Should I ask her this? I wish I didn’t find it so difficult to ask these type of questions in person. How is it linked to nerve damage because the ob said the nerves repair over time but my prolapse hasn’t improved?

I have read about the 'no pushing' but I wonder if that would help me with the next baby. My second stage of labour was extremely long and I read that this contributes to prolapse? I also had a tear and episiotomy - both second degree.

I’m sorry that the post is so long. I’d really appreciate any info or advice. Thanks for listening.

alemama

April 23, 2007 - 7:52am

I don't have a lot of time right now but......look up cystocele. That is a bladder prolapse. Fire breathing helps - it is in the book. Also there is a term- vaginal vault prolapse- I don't think this is what you are seeing but read it anyway.
Just keep reading- I will be thinking of you today- It gets better.

granolamom

April 23, 2007 - 10:43am

I'm kinda in a time crunch today, so I'll try to get back to your post again later. but for now...

yes, I think your dancing, back pain, need to urinate frequently, prolonged labor and prolapse are probably all connected. Its entirely possible that your prolapse was years in the making and the birth just took everything over the edge.

no, not everyone gets worse after having subsequent babies.

collapsed vaginal walls, sounds like prolapse to me, but its an odd way of phrasing things, imo.

bladder prolapse is more common than you'd think. as far as I can tell I don't have a uterine prolapse, just a cystocele and mild rectocele.

nerve damage due to labor/delivery is often a result of compression (think of what happens to your hand when you fall asleep ontop of your arm, you get numbness which goes away, so baby could have been pressing on those nerves, leaving them temporarily out of service). those nerves control the pelvic musculature so that's where the connection is. nerve function can come back independantly of muscle tone, as the muscles themselves can be damaged. make any sense?

MeMyselfAndI

April 23, 2007 - 3:07pm

I will try to get throuh your questions - I am no professional not by a long shot lol - I just have the Prolapse experiences of my mother and I...

I prolapsed in my first birth...
I went on to have two further births - So do NOT believe them when they tell you that is what makes it worse!!! 2nd birth I had an episiotomy 3rd I tore...

I must admit with the peeing thing Kegels DID help me - Five good kegels a day holding for 5 secs and building to ten will help you not end - I pee'd all the time - Now i can actually go out and not hafta take the trip via every loo in town lol

I have no idea what he means by prolapsed vaginal walls as as far as I know they do not prolapse... Maybe they are stretched a bit - But what does he expect after a baby!

I am not sure how old your baby is now - But there IS HOPE - I didnt even start all this stuff until my daughter (My third child) was 2.5 yrs old and I had done noting at all from my first birth 16.5yrs before - so if I can do it - anyone can!

Impliment the posture - Do just a few kegels - NOT TOO MANY as that will make things worse as kegels in all effect do NOT help prolapse - They just might help your peeing all the time problem.

In a month from now you should return to me and say - Sue - I am so happy I found this site costhe Posture has saved my sanity - Christine is a wonderful woman and she is FemiGod!!!

Do not listen to the Gynae if they tell you you need surgery - It is all they are trained for and get paid for - Hence they seem to think it is the best thing since sliced bread - And - Really - It isnt!

You will find much much information on this site - And many women who have got through this and back to normal life without surgery.

Welcome to our happy little clan :-)

Sue

mumwithone

April 24, 2007 - 9:41pm

Thanks ladies for your thoughtful replies. Silly me, but I didn't realise cystocele was the term for bladder prolapse. I'll look up more info on that and also on vaginal vault prolapse (thank you alemama). Maybe I have both. I agree I probably also have a slight rectocele - I can't hold out like I used to be able to do in that regard either. It would have been helpful if even one of the several health practitioners had given me a proper diagnosis. Why are they always in such a hurry to get you out the door? I asked a lot of questions but only got vague and unhelpful replies. I wish too that I'd known more at the time to actually ask the relevant questions. Thanks too, for explaining to me about the nerve damage. I guess that could explain why I've had some improvement with the need to pee, but not so much with the prolapse and pelvic floor strength??

I'm looking forward to getting the book and will definitely give the posture and fire breathing a lot of attention. I have found from the website alone that the posture has already helped a bit. My daughter turns two this week, so I'm glad I've been working on seeking help, and mostly that I found this website.

Thanks so much Granola mom and Sue for your thoughts and encouragement. I am most worried that my prolapse will get significantly worse with another baby, and your experiences offer me a lot of hope. At first, I was actually upset to read up on the poor results of surgery, because I thought in my mind that at least if things got worse after baby two I'd have a second option. But having continued to read I feel hopeful again that I will be able to improve my conditions through lifestyle changes and the exercises. I know even from two years ago, when I couldn't even walk to the end of my street, I've come a long way.

Yes, I too have found Kegels has helped a lot with the need to pee. My physio is actually great in that regard - she advised me to only do three sets of six to seven per day because I'm 'so weak.'She's also talked to me about diet and toilet posititioning so I'm glad she gave me all that info too.

I'm thinking a bit of counselling may help me with going for number two baby. I have a lot of anger and disappointment surrounding the birth, as well as fear of course. I also had a hemmorhage, as well as the prolapse, which worries me too. I couldn't even walk for a few days after the birth I was so weak. I'm very angry about the ob's attitude towards me and am fearful about asserting myself with another ob with baby two. Anyway, I'm rambling on about myself too much.

granolamom

April 25, 2007 - 8:04am

I wish ob's would respect us more, both our bodies and our minds. why weren't you given a proper name for your problem? why weren't you given more time and attention? ooooh it makes me mad.

and your feelings of anger and disappointment surrounding the birth are unfortunately all too common. and I personally believe strongly in the mind/body connection and who knows if it isn't related to prolapse. maybe a bit far fetched, but....

I agree...you have to find a way to get those negative birth experience feelings out. It took me years to get over the birth of my firstborn. and its a shame. birth should be joyful and empowering and so often that's taken away from us. I hope that you find a way to make peace with what is past. I suspect you will, and then you will find courage and strength to do it again. but the next time you will be better prepared to have the birth experience you deserve.

mumwithone

April 25, 2007 - 10:30pm

Thanks Granolamom, I completely agree with what you said. When I went for my six week checkup after the birth, and the ob said everything was fine (which I later discovered of course that it wasn't). He asked how the labour was, if I was happy with it etc. At the time I hadn't even processed what I'd been through and what I wasn't told. Back then I said 'yes' but if I went in now he'd be getting a totally different answer from me. Obs are skilled and intelligent people, yet often they don't seem to have the interpersonal skills? I should have gone with my gut at the time and not stuck with him but the ob I had chosen originally gave up obstetrics part way through my pregnancy and I had few choices to pick from in a hurry. If only I'd know the absolute importance of having the 'right' person there for you.

Thanks so much for your support. I agree about the mind/body connection and think it will be important for me if I have another baby to go in feeling positive and confident, the opposite to how I'm feeling now! I'm really glad I found this site and people like you to help work things out.