postpartum blahs

Hi Chick

This sound awful. sorry you are experiencing this. I have not experienced it myself. No wonder you are feeling glum.

I think you will find you got your period because you are nursing less, and your oestrogen levels have returned to normal. Hope this is right because it is how it usually works. Your glumness and POP symptoms are probably pre-menstrual in origin, as you say. Hope it all lifts as the period arrives and progresses, and as your menstrual cycle stabilises over the coming months.

The pain free period might have just been because it was the first try, but with any luck they might stay pain free. I can't remember which baby it was after, but mine became less painful after babies than before.

I had a retroverted uterus during all that time. I suspect its greater mobility after pregnancy helped. I did still have pain, but not nearly so badly, after babies. After my uterus flipped completely to normal position about two years before menopause I hardly had any discomfort at all.

I suggest that you take this first period as a sacred time for yourself, as sacred as it is possible to be with a baby and an energetic little boy! Embrace the lethargy as a rest time for your body, in your busy life. Nurture your body that has carried you this far and celebrate the wonder of it's having grown two babies for you and your partner. These babies are the fruit of your love. Don't ever forget that. You have now returned to being a fully reproductive woman, which is a miraculous state to be in. Aren't our bodies amazing, when you think about what they can do, all by themselves (apart from the Birthing). Our bodies are the gift-wrapping for our babies. What more could a man want, than a child wrapped in his wife's beautiful body? I am sure he loves your body and loves your beautiful babies, and loves you all the more.

Yout POPs will recover. Just allow yourself to love yourself as much as you love your man and your babies.

Hope this is not all too much. The readings in church yesterday from the Revised Common Lectionary were about loving God and loving our neighbours. Loving our neighbours is not all about 'loving our neighbours more than we love ourselves'. It is about God's gift to us in his son, and Jesus gift to us in his death and resurrection to save us for our sins. If God loves us *this* much, we can mirror that love by loving all our neighbours and we are also eligible to receive that same love for ourselves.

Mirror God's love for you by loving and and honouring yourself too.

Louise

:-)

I would rather have just given you a hug, but here's one anyway. (((Chickaboom)))

Yeah, the blues can be so insidious that you are only vaguely aware of not being OK, because you can function on a day to day basis, and not collapse in a big teary, helpless mess, but nobody really notices much, except you, but pleasure and wellbeing are in somebody else's universe.

It might be worth pursuing some professional help to dig out your blues, and have a look at it. Strip it naked, and rob it of its power over you. The longer it has a grip over you the longer you will feel blue. Life is too short. It can be different.

Re position of uterus, have a feel with a finger. If it is normal (anteverted) your cervix will come out of the front top of your vagina, right through to retroverted, when it will be straight down, or even come out of the back wall. Mine must have actually got jammed way down behind my vagina, upside down, because my cervix came out of the back wall and pointed almost straight upwards. No wonder my heaviest bleeding was at night! It all got saved up during the day!

You are spot on about the pubic pain. Many members have experienced this and taken some time to recover from it. Granolamom?
There have been others too. Have you had any physical therapy for it?

The blues might be preventing you from giving yourself this help, which you are worthy of receiving.

Louise

Oh hey Chickaboom,
Sounds like you've been going through a tough time. I'm so glad you're sharing it with us 'cos you won't be the only one who's going through it or been through it and 'cos sharing really helps.

I haven't got much more to add th Louise's great interventions. However here's another hug........... BIG BEAR HUG........

Also, just another thought re the leg pains. I had a retroverted uterine prolapse (cervix feels as if it's pointed straight down at the top of the vagina) - still do but less so and managed with WW. When my prolapse was more severe I had quite severe pains down my inner thighs and sciatica. The doctors said these symptoms weren't related but they coinicded with my prolapse symptoms and felt related to me. Christine said other women had reported pains down their legs too alongside their prolapse symptoms. She wondered whether the pains might be related to pressure on the nerves in the pelvic and upper leg area. Another area of research to be explored it seems. It appears the more we enquire into POP the more there is to learn. I think this is at least in part to do with women getting more involved - talking and listening to each other...
Also remember - ths too will pass..
Good luck, wholewomanuk

((((((((chickaboom)))))))))

I have had my share of pp blahs. ugh, its the worst part of motherhood for me.
however, both my midwife and the psychologist I was seeing after the birth of my fourth baby agree that in many cases, postpartum depression is a sign of the new mother doing too much too soon. it doesnt have to be 'physical doing' like getting back to the gym at 2 weeks pp, and it doesnt have to happen within the first 6 weeks pp either.
so this last time around, whenever I started to feel the blahs creep up on me, I cut myself some slack and got some more help (or let more things slide).
I also found a connection between how much I was doing/giving and PMS cramping. so now, I go easy on myself right before and during a period. when I dont, I can see the difference, cramping -sometimes with pain radiating down one or both legs!- and depression.
I am imagining that the tenderness very well could be related to the episiotomy, after my second was born I had painful spots around the area that tore, took YEARS for the pain/tenderness to go away.
gone now, so that's good I guess. but I thought it would be with me forever. :::::shudder::::::

and one more thing just crossed my mind.....any chance you could be pg?

I had that thought too- and also, any chance your period is going to come soon?
Thyroid imbalances can be a big contributer to the blahs postpartum. Our new baby is 6 months now (Oct 20) and yesterday I cut all my hair off (and I'm thinking of going to a pixie cut now! never have had that cut before but it was so freeing to hack it all off). I am so damn sick of it all falling out. I know this is normal for me (this is our 5th) but I also know that it has something to do with my thyroid. So, 6 months seems to be a time that the thyroid does something weird (happens every time for me somewhere around 5 or 6 months postpartum).
If it is your thyroid, you will probably feel better in a few months- though sometimes it takes some help.
I guess I'm just saying I doubt this is all in your head :) Get it tested if this rings a bell for you.

chick, yes, motherhood is exhausting. when I was 8 mo pg with my fifth, I was telling my mw how thoroughly exhausted I was. I thought it was to be expected, I was 36 yo pg with four young kids at home. she said I seemed more tired than normal and ordered a thyroid test. long story short, something was amiss, I took some synthetic T3 and OMG you cannot compare life with an off-balance thyroid to normal life! It was as though the sun finally begun to shine. I called the mw the next day (it worked that fast!) and told her I thought I was high on something. she said, no honey, that's how normal feels.
by 6 weeks pp, I started getting shortness of breath and palpitations so I stopped the thyroid meds and still felt ok. I guess for me, my thyroid went nutty during pg but then found its way back.
thyroid imbalance is pretty straightforward stuff, easily tested and treated. if thats the issue here, dont just wait for it to go away. my opinion only, of course.

as for doing less when I feel I need to, its hard. I'm a neat freak, neurotic about the kids coming home to a clean home with space for relaxation and homework. mess and chaos makes me feel chaotic inside, I need everything put away to feel calm. however, I made this promise to myself, that I have to care for my body. I have to. or I will not be able to live well on the other days. so when I need to, I order pizza for dinner or just make peanut butter sandwiches. I dont go into the playroom if its messy and I avoid the kids' bathroom too. no big deal if the baby skips a bath for a day or two. I fight the urge to clean up, fight the urge to use real dishes and I pull out the paper plates repeating my mantra 'I must take care of me'.
instead of shining up my surroundings I force myself to take a cup of tea and a book to bed, or the sofa while the kids play. without me. that's ok too, I dont have to be interacting with them 24/7. a few days with less of me is a small price to pay when they get a happier and healthier mom in return.
so far, no ones complained. well, aside from my oldest son who apparently thinks that french toast lovingly made by mom every morning is his birthright.

might as well pee on a stick too, pg sometimes sneaks up on you like that. ask me how I know, lol