Feeling hopeless

Hello Momma3,
You are sooo not alone on this topic. I went to several doctors after having my second child Vbac (Vaginal Birth After Cessarian). I didn't know what to expect for the healing process because it was first the time for me. I thought I was going crazy because all of the doctors told me all was ok even though I knew different. I found the Whole Woman site after searching it for myself and well here I am. I know it sounds aweful and you go through the terrible feeling of being alone like living in a fish bowl while everyone else carries on a normal life. I use to get so sad and felt that I was completely alone. I have to tell you it changes and you are on the right path. Even if they do not diagnose you. You still can improve yourself. It is possible. I am glad I found this site because even those who do not suffer from prolapse can still benefit from it. I plan to teach my daughter the importance of not only pelvic health but posture as well. Please, listen to the wonderful ladies here. They are amazing. I have a rectocele and a cystocele. I have been working on the DVD first Aide for prolapse and at first I thought will I ever get this down? and will I ever feel normal again? and to answer both for you is yes. Hang in there we all support you!
Oh also, take care of yourself try to go gentle with any heavy lifting make sure you get your rest. Your body still is in recovery. Take care momma3

Hang in there I know it is not easy. You will get back your life even the sex part. I want to give you some advice on the burning I am new to this and also experience the burning feeling once in a while. I find that fish oil with omega 3 helps a bit. Again, if you breast feed you may want to check with doctor (mercury?) But the one advice that I know helped me was to wear clothes that help support the posture and comfort. I wear jeans somtimes but have found that there are so many other types of pants that are soooo comfortable and I have less problems with that burning sensation. I don't think that jeans caused it but I do think that women's jeans are so uncomfortable and make me feel worse at the end of the day. I find I can't wait to get out of them once I am home. Also, DO NOT miss the plumber butt that everyone thinks is so hot!!! I find that I have a pretty good shape and some of the stretchier pants look great (black ones make butt fabulous) and I am able to breath in them.
I know how hard it is to get use to the concept of what is happening. It is like you are being betrayed by your own body. I would look at other women and think why me? What did I do to deserve this? I would look at my kids and pray to god to change my outcome so I can be their mom again and enjoy life. I know those feelings all to well.
Trust me when I say this. Keep on Keepin On. if you haven't got any of her DVDs think about it. I only have one and already am begining to feel a difference. I do know that it dosen't happen overnight but I am consistant. I have OBGYN appointment next month and I want to walk in their and blow the sox off of him. That is my goal.
The other thing that I do. If I want to cry and lie down and give my self a hug and self pitty day I do that. It is weird but it is a way of coming to terms with it. I feel its like a bit of a death to my old body and its ok to feel sad about that but just know that you will come out of that and begin to understand yourself more then you ever had before. Also, your new body becomes stronger and you become stronger with it. Good luck momma3 anytime you want to let it out, I am hear to listen

How beautiful this post is !!! You have given all of us a shot of inspiration, compassion and hope. You are wonderful!

Dear momma3, hello and welcome to the land of hope! Congratulations on all three of your 'babies'. When mine were little (like 5, 4, 3 and 1for example), I wish I had let the housework go and spent more time talking and playing with them. That's your job, really, so please don't stress about taking time to get off your feet and play or read or just hang out with them. I'll say this not as an advocate of child labor or a hard-hearted mother, but you may (or may not) be surprised at how much a 10 year old can do with a little instruction and non-hovering supervision. Kids are so great, aren't they? They're eager to get into stuff and learn and do.

I agree, Ms. Nightingale. I'm glad to 'know' you spirit3. I had one of those days yesterday and just mourned for a little while. I can always find someone here who either inspires me or puts me to shame so it's all good.

I like Lee, Chic, and Bill Blass jeans that are still made for women and not for 'little' girls. And I love the hybrid jean/spandex that fit close with an elastic back to wear with a loose top. I usually wear knit pants around the house; fleece is too hot. Rediscovering dresses was great, though, for warmer weather. I like a full dress with enough length for decency when I'm sitting cross-legged or lying on the couch with my sons around. Wish fabric weren't so expensive, because I love to sew.

Y'all have a nice day.

Hi momma3 and welcome. What you are describing sounds like a pretty classic early post-partum manifestation of a prolapse. If you were to do nothing at all, chances are it would resolve on its own to a lesser or greater extent....but it will be back. That's pretty much how I see my own experience as I look back in time. So it's really important that you see this as a wake-up call to act! Wish I'd known at your age, what I know now.

You are still extremely early in the post-partum recovery period, which can take up to 2 years. Sometimes after that magical 6-week "sign-off" by the doc (which means nothing, basically) you think that you can just do pretty much whatever you want, and you might be trying to do too much. And maybe you have no choice.....we don't all get the help we deserve after giving birth.

What really counts right now is to get a handle on what this posture thing is all about. WW posture is really just the natural way that we used to stand and move as children, before we started to "learn" that we were supposed to suck in our bellies and tuck our butts under in the name of good posture. We have lost our lumbar curvature and the natural support that our pelvic organs are supposed to have, in the hollow of the relaxed lower belly.

I am almost three years into this work and I can tell you it has changed me totally. It's hard to get this at first, but when it has become second nature, not only do prolapse symptoms abate but your whole body feels different. I could never go back. And I don't want my "old" body back. - Surviving

Momma3 whether you have tried some type of salve for the burning in your vagina? We often suggest just a dessert spoon size or thereabouts of something natural like coconut oil or olive oil. With children in the house if you don't have these maybe you have a baby cream you could use instead or some pure yoghurt. Or perhaps an Epsom salts bath. Just something to cool the burning. Also just a dab of raw honey can help to restore bacteria to the vagina. If this does not help, maybe you need to check for the possibility of a urinary tract infection.

But essentially if you can make yourself feel more comfortable then you can concentrate on posture and exercise.

best wishes to you, Fab

I am on this journey and not sure if I say things are right or wrong...but I know that if I discover something that helps me then I must share. I love not being alone on this and thank you back!

Spirit 3. Your post was beautiful. Do you still have your uterus and ovaries? I don't and the more I learn the more downhearted and discouraged I become. It seems nothing will help those of us who were misled by the medical profession that a hysterectomy would "fix" us. The only thing I am being offered now to help me is more surgery. The more I read the more I think this is not the answer either.

There is hope for all of us. If you can, try not to be downhearted from the past. The posture will help each and every one of us. You may have some other obstacles because you have had surgery, but no matter, you will benefit in countless ways. There are many women on here who have had surgery and have had help from posture and exercises and attitude here. Best wishes to you and much hope!

I agree with all that's been said here so far. I've had two babies since discovering my prolapse and let me tell you that six weeks is still very very early. in my experience, things tend to get worse before they get better, I tend to hit 'rock bottom' around 12 weeks pp and then I am able to reverse it pretty quickly. but I was lucky (?) in that I found my prolapse between pregnancies so by the time I was pp again I knew what to do. you can learn all of it here, the dvd and/or book is really helpful too.
but the main thing is to learn the posture and try to stay in it all day long. dont sweat it too much if you arent always lifting the baby out of his seat the 'right' way. its the overall picture that makes a difference. if you are finished with the lochia, you can start firebreathing or nauli, two exercises that really pull things back into place.
I dont know about the burning, are you certain you don't have a yeast infection or anything like that? it could just be irritation, and you've gotten good advice here for that.
please dont feel hopeless. you can get this under control. keep stopping by with questions or just support. we've all been there.
and congrats on the baby : )

MsNightingale, Thank You so much for your words of encouragement. I have only been on this site a couple of weeks and have already learned so much from you ladies. I am trying to learn all I can to make an informed decision.