prolapse and nerve damage

Submitted by maxhar on March 3, 2015 - 2:14pm
Body: 

Hello

I'm new here, feeling anxious, lost and a little desperate. I just want my old body back and as time goes on, I am feeling less optimistic that this is ever going to happen. My symptoms began when I was 5 months pregnant with my second child. I strangely woke one day with all the feelings I had immediately after giving birth to my 1st child. Heavy rectum, heavy buttocks like everything was being pulled downwards. This sensation did not get any worse during my pregnancy and my GP told me it was the pressure of the baby. Fast forward to the birth - rapid delivery one and half hours from my first contraction. I tore again like I did with my first. 3rd degree. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be left feeling the way I do.
I was put off having a c-section 'you've stretched from the first birth' ' you won't tear again' 'you being petite doesn't change anything'. How I wish I could turn the clock back.

So at first, I had rectal burning, like a ball of fire up my bottom and immense rectal heaviness. I couldn't pass stool, it was getting stuck yet I couldn't feel or see any bulges to press on, which from what I was reading was a key symptom of a rectocele. But here I was walking around with poo up my bottom and I was going to the toilet 4-5 x every day. GP was telling me to give my body time, do kegels it's your muscles, your body will heal. I see a gynaecologist, he confirms no rectocele, but he can help with some scar tissue I have vaginally. Boy do I regret that as this induced new nerve pain I didn't have before.

So I pay privately to see a pelvic floor colo-rectal consultant, one of the best in the UK. He confirms rectocele straight away after digital examination. He believes I may also have an internal rectal prolapse which is causing incomplete emptying. Various tests later and yes I have an internal rectal prolapse and a small rectocele. I'm also told that nerve damage (pudendal nerve) is aggravating my symptoms.

So here I am 10 months on from giving birth. I have seen some improvement but some set backs. My emptying has improved with the help of Movicol, but I do still have days where I go 3-4 times. I'm not convinced it's where I am not emptying fully as I pass more stool then I have ever done and believe this could be IBS following a 2 week period of antibiotics after childbirth. I can now pass wind a little easier as at the start, it would just get stuck but the immense rectal heaviness has not shifted and is what bothers me the most.

I am confused whether it is the prolapse causing the heaviness or if it's damaged nerves and the consultant can't say for sure either. He has said that my case is unusual, my age -34, and the fact that I am presenting with these problems as an immediate consequence of childbirth. He was hoping that as my nerves recover, my symptoms would pass but because the heaviness persists, he can offer me an operation (rectopexy) which may help with the heaviness. He explains that because of my age, it is very likely that I will need another operation when I'm older.

I have told the consultant that I will think about it. Some days I think I should just go ahead, but other days I think I can't take the risk. If a simple gynae procedure to remove scar tissue has caused me more pain in the vagina and rectum, then what the hell will this operation do to me.

I have the heaviness from the moment I wake up, it's like a lead weight in my bottom. I have kegeled until the cows come home and it has done nothing to improve my situation. In fact, they make my pain worse. I know nerves can take years to heal so I live in hope that things will improve, that the heaviness is nerve and will begin to fade but then I also think, how can a nerve cause heaviness. Surely, after 10 months, my tissues have firmed up and recovered or is there more healing to come?.

I cry every day, I grieve my old body, the old me, one that isn't thinking of their bottom 24/7. It doesn't matter what I do, all I'm thinking of is my bottom because it feels so uncomfortable, so abnormal. I feel like this is a bad dream and that one day I will wake up and everything will be okay..I try to stay positive but it's hard and I don't know where to go from here?

Forum:

maxhar

March 3, 2015 - 4:23pm

Thank you for responding. I will take heed of your advice. I was told it was called hydradissection of the vaginal tissues and as the gynaecologist explained, it would be like jetwashing the scar tissue. He would then inject anaesthetic and steroid into the area. He said no one has ever reacted to this procedure like I have (increased pain) as normally it either works in helping pain or it doesn't.

wise owl

March 3, 2015 - 5:48pm

Oh my gosh my heart goes out to you,,, please please , try the Whole Woman first. The posture is up most important and you can start that right away, you are so young and it makes it so hard to enjoy those beautiful babies when you have this constant struggle.
You will soon see by reading the forums that help is here, you will have your questions answered and you will not be alone to battle this.
You will have to do the work but emotionally as you can see someone will always try to help with support and answers.
It can be such a viscous cycle with elimination and rectocele until you learn that posture will work the kinks and loops out so that stool and wind will pass as it should,
having a bowel movement should not be such a trial but for some of us it is,
the posture helps, believe me, it does so much, it allows our organs to fall into natural placement, not all battling in squished in spaces they don't belong, no wonder it causes pain, inflammation is painful.

also learning how to sit on the toilet properly to allow the natural curve of the colon to release the stool, trying not to strain, even when you are fearful you will never get that stool out, try not to push to hard, posture posture, its the answer .
Doctors are so quick to operate but it is their job, its how they make their living, its all they know.
Some surgeries may be a necessity but when they offer you surgery and right upfront tell you it will have to be done again, that raises red flags for me.
Try Whole woman postures and exercises, the posture is the most important, please take care,,,

Sierra

March 3, 2015 - 6:36pm

These ladies are very wise and all have knowledge and experience that will help you. I'm new too. Physical therapy and kegals made me worse, which I'm learning is very common, and this posture is the only thing that has helped. Like you, my instincts were NOT to continue with ideas of kegals and surgeries that no one seems to believe actually work and in many cases cause more pain and always require more surgeries. Good luck and ask questions. These ladies on this forum are amazing!

wholewomanUK

March 4, 2015 - 3:04pm

Dear Maxhar,
My heart goes out to you. I empathise with how you feel - my situation and symptoms were different but the emotional turmoil sounds familiar. Many of us on the forum can remember feeling so so desperate. However many of us are now leading happy, healthy, normal lives. Some women recover completely, others like myself feel they have a long term issue, but know how to maintain good health and manage their prolapse vulnerabilities. So for example, Personally I'm usually pretty symptom free. However I only have to not follow the WW posture and basic principles (e.g. lifting too much badly or sitting and straining of the loo…) and my symptoms usually return sooner or later. So although I'm symptom free most of the time but I'm not free of pop issues. However we're all different and will have different experiences. This is just an example.

Personally I always advice women to try the WW way first. You still have all your options open, inc surgery. However once you have surgery there's no turning back - and it may get worse. WW is safe, natural and effective for 1000's of women. It's worth engaging with this process.

It's a practical approach with a comprehensive theoretical basis. I encourage ou to buy the book/dvd/on-line course/have a consultation with a teacher (this is also inc in the destination on-line course…).. First take a really good look around the website, the library, the blog… there's masses of info here fore free. Also you can google in key words (ww posture, exercises…), and look up videos - there's loads of you tubes available too. It's really worth the investment of time, energy and if it's avaialbe money - but there's a lot available free if not.

Good luck! Remember this is a condition that has great potential for improvement. It's not life threatening - and generally does not require or benefit from surgery.

Lovee and hugs,
wholewomanuk

maxhar

March 5, 2015 - 9:05am

Thanks to all of you. I will definitely do some researching on this. For me, if I could just have some improvement with the heaviness in my rectum, I'd be over the moon. The consultant told me that kegels won't help with this but surgery would. I left feeling that surgery was my only option. I just don't understand why it feels so bad when I only have a small rectocele and a fairly high grade internal prolapse. I don't see or feel any bulges. I was told most women who have rectoceles have internal rectal prolapse too as they go hand in hand. I need to do something positive and not keep dwelling in self pity .

maxhar

March 5, 2015 - 1:07pm

I did watch it and will aim to do as much as possible to alleviate the pressure I feel. I liked the look of the pelvic rock. I have found walking minimises the pressure but I know that my posture is poor so will take me time to get used to this posture. Can this really help symptoms like mine? I'm feeling positive today, the first time in ages.

Miss Diagnosed

March 5, 2015 - 1:28pm

Immediately postpartum I had this awful pressure you describe and was going to the bathroom 2-3 times a day for about a month. I didn't realise it was a rectocele until my cystocele descended and everything got worse at about a month pp. I started doing the posture at about 5 weeks pp and for the most part the multiple bathroom trips issue subsided although I was bad again at about 3 months pp and then again recently shortly after a bad bout of stomach flu. I have no idea where I'd be now without having found this so early in my post partum period but can say now at least that although I still have annoying bowel urges, they are less frequent and the pressure type feelings of that first month and bad spell have not returned.... Since 4 months pp I have been walking in posture for between an hour and two hours every morning and even when I'm having a pretty bad start to my day (urges to go to the bathroom even when I'm sure I don't really need to go again), a walk somehow seems to sort me out for the rest of the day. I'm yet to delve into the workouts but am trying to get my head around fire breathing and nauli and will report on my success with each soon. For now I'm convinced that walking briskly (up hills with the buggy) in tall posture is helping me immensely spiritually and physically. I watch my diet sooooo carefully - as I now watch my clothing choices and I never ever slouch or slump on saggy furniture! It's good and bad days still but I try to focus on good days. It's hard but I think you have to give it your best shot. What have you got to lose at this point? Read the rectocele success stories for inspiration. I bet in a few months you will be posting your own improvements!