Hi Mommi2three..................

Thanks so much for thinking of me. I am in a life transition now. My prolapses have not been good b/c I have been sick for over 2 wks, had terrible cough. I feel like I am back to square one where sitting or standing too long is painful and I have that heaviness feeling in the back of my butt.

But I have been dealing with my divorce. I think I mentioned that a couple of months back. I am quite disappointed about life right now. I just had his 3rd child and she just turned 2 yrs old in Dec. My health was improving but he could not wait for me to heal. He really cannot understand what I have been through physically to try and heal. Unfortunately with all the distractions I have not been giving my health the attention it needs. I am trying to refocus on myself. I still don't believe surgery is the option for me.

After a 13 year marriage, it is a scary thought to be out in the singles scene again with this condition. I am trying to keep positive and be confident. It is just tough sometimes b/c I feel like my husband could not support me through this. I just wonder if anyone else out there will be strong enough.

I am definitely not looking for anyone. That is furthest from my mind but b/c my POP was more than what my spouse could handle. I come to question how someone can make vows to be there "in sickness and in health" only to bail when there was a rough patch. It is disheartening to know that he can choose to do this to someone that he supposedly loved a year ago when he wanted another child.

I am refocusing on my exercises again. I went to the gyn and she told me grade 3 is pretty serious for bladder and uterine. But I always look to our group here and see hope. Thanks for listening. It's great to be in touch again.

Hi mommi2three. It is heartbreaking to learn how men can be such cowards as to turn and run from the women they say they love - enough to have children with. My husband did a similar thing - he didn't want to cope with prolapse issues and other things too. We had 2 children together. He went straight into another relationship (and I mean straight away) - this woman has had a hysterectomy and all I can do is hope like hell her surgery stuffs her up even more. It would serve them both right. She didn't even have the decency to wait before she got her claws into him. He was weak though so it wasn't just her. My prolapse was and is mild and it didn't affect our lovemaking. When I confront him about a lot of these issues he kind of shrinks, and looks guilty, then he just walks away. Talk about the picture of a coward in action. Anyway, sorry to vent. It sounds like you are not in a great space with your situation either but love yourself, that is the main thing, love yourself and help yourself.
Good luck.
Cheers,
Wendy

divorce after 13 years- you must be feeling crazy- little children to raise, your health to consider, and this life changing experience. I can't even imagine what you are dealing with right now. I know you said you wern't looking for a new man in your life- but if ever you are.....he will be a lucky man to find you.
He will be a lucky man to find you. and that is the truth.

I am trying to keep my sanity. It does seem crazy and overwhelming. One day I was planning all these things to do in 2007 b/c my POP felt fairly good. I wanted to take my daughter out more like I did my older boys. They got my undivided mommy time and the healthy me who trekked the malls, did gymboree, music classes, and met with friends. My poor baby doesn't know better but she barely has pictures of us as a family!

I know I need to put it all into perspective b/c the papers have been filed. I don't understand how it can transpire to this when we were just celebrating her birth. Btw, Wenz...I believe he has someone else too. I know it was a tough time b/c I had to focus so much on myself physically. I found a stack of monthly cell calls to OW home & cell. It just doesn't add up to anything good.

I don't think surgery would have made me bounced back to "my old self" like lots of others (and my husband)believe. It would still take time to heal. There comes a time where some of us need to place health and healing as a priority and we hope that our spouses would be there to support us. I wished that he would have sought help for both of us instead of bailing. It is destroying a family that we worked hard to create. Doesn't make sense?! But who can argue with someone who thinks that they can't be happy with you anymore??

Oh Michelle, I am better after I stopped coughing but not back to my plateau state. Coughing episodes seem to take allot out of you with POP. I am hoping that it is not a worsening of the condition but how can we avoid flu, bad colds, or viruses thru out our lifetime? Somehow all of us must get thru without getting worse?! I hope!! :) Just gotta redirect my energy to my exercises again.

Congrats on your grandaughter Christine! How lucky is your daughter and her daughter to have you by their side. :) Btw, I love her name. Is she part Asian?

Am so glad to hear you're feeling better and that the POP is too, even a little is good. Am finding it hard without my partner and it's been a year and a half nearly since he walked out the door. My Mum thinks I just miss the company and someone to talk to, but he caused a whole family structure to break down and have to be rebuilt by me and my daughter. I was very close to my ex husband, we supported each other through good and bad for 23 years. He knew I loved him and would do anything to make him happy but he just threw it back at me. I am growing a thick skin over the hurt and humiliation of it all, but it's taking a long time. One of the really good things in my life is keeping my pelvic organs as healthy as I can, it is something I am grateful for every day. I love it too when I hear of women on this site experiencing improvement and success with their pelvic health too. Anyway, take care and hope your POP continues to improve.
Wenz

Hi Mommy2three,

If I remember, you've said you are very close with your mom. I think of all the "save the world" types of actions that need to be taken at this time in history, one of the most important is women keeping, healing and nurturing strong relationships with each other. Another man will come into your life - when you are ready - but until then give thanks the mother, sisters, and friends who will fill your life with love and support.

Thanks for asking about Nori. For some reason she looks Asian, but is English, Irish, German, Swedish and Afro-American! They didn't have a name for her until a couple of days before she was born, but her name finally found her. Along with being the name of the seaweed we wrap sushi in, her name also means "belief" in Japanese. "Kai" is a Hawaiian name. It just couldn't suit her more. I will post pics of the gentle water birth (and the baby quilt! lol) this weekend. Btw, my daughter dreamed all the way through her pregnancy that she was going to give birth to a fair-skinned baby girl!

Christine

It has been a rough ride and it ain't over yet! I wish I was in better spirits but my mom has given me the strength to look beyond the now and survive the present. I do thank God that we have women in our lives that can support us through difficult times like this. I thought my greatest challenge was dealing with POP and taking care of 3 toddlers. Never in a million years did I think that I would have no husband to lean on. Life is sure complex.

Thanks for your kind words Christine. Can't wait to see pics of your Nori and family. God Bless you all.