Sex and cystocele

Body: 

I am new to this site! Please help! I have a cystocele after having my first baby 6 months ago. He was 8 lbs, 1 oz. I pushed for 2.5 hours, he was stuck with his head sticking out. It seems the bulge just below my urethra is getting smaller - but it's very slow going so I can't really tell! I just tried to have sex with my husband last night, and experienced much discomfort in the missionary position - anyone have any suggestions as to how to make this more comfortable? Anyone else take longer than 6 months to heal? Can anyone tell me about the effect of breastfeeding and estrogen levels on cystoceles? I'm now also afraid to have another baby . . . . I thought I did so well - no pain meds during childbirth, had a wonderful midwife, no tears, no cuts. But now this! I wish this cystocele would go away, but am thankful for a relatively smooth labor and healthy baby . . .

hello chloebro:

first of all, let me welcome you. glad you found this site and the group of women here who come in all ages and with many variations to their story.

now, your baby is still very very young. although my prolapse came just recently -- 7 years after my daughter was born -- it seems that women, like you, who are still so newly post partum can go through a lot of changes in that first year so i would suspect more will shift. are you still breastfeeding as well? because that also makes the hormone levels different -- that doesn't mean you should stop breastfeeding because of the prolapse! stop whenever you're ready (and i say that as someone who nursed my daughter for 3 years!) and, once your hormones shift from THAT, i gather that more changes can happen. (i may be wrong there so PLEASE someone correct any erroneous information.) my point here is this: there is still a LOT that can change so please know that.

as to sex...is it possible you were experiencing discomfort because there wasn't enough lubrication? i know that when i was nursing, i had to add lube (hello astroglide!) because my body wasn't doing it on its own. if there's not enough lubrication, it certainly can feel uncomfortable. also, there are a zillion other positions -- maybe you can try another and that would be more comfortable? maybe you being on top? you would feel like you have more control then (and you would) so that that might help. i would say lubrication and different position would be the way to go. though, i do also want to say that i know i just wasn't into sex for some time after i had my daughter (definitely more than 6 months) and, well, my husband just had to ride that one out. just want to mention that as i felt weird about it at the time and women didn't seem to talk about it so if THAT were the case, i just want to normalize it a little for you.

there are a number of women on the site who have had other babies after having prolpases. in fact, i think one or two of them are pregnant right now. read some of the posts and know, if you want to do it, it can be done. but with a six month old, i would think that you might not be ready to do that right now, so instead, try not to worry about THAT one, and just focus on your new babe and your own body as it's still making so many adjustments and changes. so so much is shifting for YOU internally -- please don't underestimate the hugness of that. your body spent 10 months building an entirely new human being! please give it AT THE VERY VERY MINIMUM the same amount of time to adjust -- and far more as long as you are still nursing.

much can change for you. much WILL change for you. that i am certain of. give it time. get as much rest as you can, eat well. read through the site when you have a few moments. there is loads of information here -- so much that will help you. ask any questions that you need.

take care, chloebro. i'm sure others will weigh in for you soon.

xxsusan

Thank you (howdidthishappen) very much for your words of support and encouragement! I have felt so alone with this issue, and I think this website is wonderful. I have read through the faqs and tips - I hadn't done that prior to writing my post, so many questions were answered for me. I really appreciate what you have written, especially about giving my body time to heal. I will wait a little longer before trying to have sex again, and will try the side to side position next time (with way more lube!!)

Thanks again!!!

Hi there Chloebro,

Hello there also to your beautiful baby!

Susan makes wonderful points! You are very early post partum as she said. I have seen gradual but steady improvement in the overall shape and tone of my vagina over the past year post partum.

Susan is so right about sex drive as well. I have had little since my last baby was born, probably hormonal due to breastfeeding, and of course tiredness with little ones. I think being tense and worrying about things being different down there makes us even less lubricated too, though this improves with time and experimentation in my experience.

I am quite sure that you will have another baby and get to the place where you are completely ready mentally and physically. Please read posts by Granolamom who is currently pregnant and was at a time going through similar worries I believe.

We are all here for you through this. You are so not alone, please know that. Give your self time for all of this stuff, sex, having more babies, and just giving your body time to heal the the full extent that it can.

Hugs!

Michelle.

I have a 5 month old baby now and a cystocele and rectocele (cystocele showed up a while after the rectocele and some days my cervix is pretty low too) and I have been getting some good results from sex-
I really don't feel like doing it at first either but once we get started (foreplay) and I am ready (where is the olive oil) it seems like the whole next day everything is higher- I know with orgasm the uterus contracts and lifts up- so maybe that has something to do with it. It is pretty funny - He will ask me if I am up for some physical therapy:) I can't wait for the day when I am just as interested as he is - but for now I am doing the best I can. We are able to start in the side position but once we get going I can usually switch to woman on top or on my side with him behind me.
I am convinced that your cystocele will get much much better with this work - especially because you caught it early and you have no trauma-I would advise waiting to have another baby- maybe 3 years?

After sex - everything really IS higher. Dunno how it does it - but it just feels more 'up' lol
Sue