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Submitted by mere4 on March 3, 2007 - 3:16pm
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I am new here and was diagnosed with a "mild" rectocele back in Sept 06. I am completely sad and depressed about this especially since I've never had children. I am (was) extremely active, gym, ride horses, etc..in fact I own 4 horses and have to take care of them so I can't just stop being active.
I guess what bothers me most is feeling damaged and totally betrayed by my own body, which I've always taken such good care of.
That being said I always did have really bad posture and used to tuck my bottom under and slouch. Maybe this contributed to my problem. Although I honestly believe this happened from doing extreme abdominal workouts.
I have no constipation problems, at least I don't think I do. But I do have to "splint" to have a bowel movement, although since discovering this the first time, I've not tried to go without doing that because I'm scared that it might stretch it more.Make sense?Is that bad? Maybe I shouldn't do that?... But I go at least once a day everyday and I don't have to strain at all.
Anyway, I feel obsessed with this and have so many questions, and it seems like I think of more everyday. It's totally got me preoccupied. And yet from scanning the posts and forums I feel like I must be lucky because the only symptom I have is the splinting to go. My ob/gyn sort of downplayed the whole thing, in fact when I asked him about it at my last appt. he said, "oh,that, it's very small and you certainly should never need surgery fot it, just don't get constipated".
Any suggestions or coping tips would be greatly appreciated. And I have begun to seriously work on my posture and would like to find out more excercises I can do to help with this. I work on a computer all day and it's hard now to maintain it, but I'll just keep working at it. I will say that my lower back feels less stiff in the morning since I've begun doing this.
Thanks for this forum and place to come for support and encouragement.
Mere

JBee

March 4, 2007 - 9:45am

Hi Mere

Welcome to this wonderful forum of women! I don't know what I'd have done without this site when I first discovered my prolapse. We all have varying degrees of prolapse - I have cystocele, rectocele and uterine following the traumatic delivery of my son 19 months ago. I think it's my rectocele that gives me the most problems. But, what helps with this is physical therapy (massage), ensuring I don't get constipated and not straining, sitting on the loo properly (or trying not to sit actually, squatting is much better!), watching my diet and THE POSTURE! Get Christine's book and try and implement the posture. If you find it difficult in the office perhaps you need a different chair? Personally, I find the posture easier to maintain when I'm sitting. There's so much info on this site - have a scout around and then holler if you have any questions as everyone is only too pleased to offer their advice. For what it's worth, I was a keen rider too before all this happened although not as keen as you with 4 horses - wow. I know that the physical therapy I have to my gluteals really helps the rectocele - these are particularly used in horseriding....coincidence?!
Take care of yourself - that's important too! And know that your'e not alone.....J x

AnneKane

March 14, 2007 - 8:06pm

Hi
What you speak of - the feeling's of great sadness and the sort of obsessiveness are shared by so many of us here in the beginning. It can appear as if we are all chirpy little, silbver-lining get along with it's! But often we've got to that stage having started out as you are.

When you become more informed and get used to what has occured and begin to find way's of coping these feeling's will pass i gaurentee you. Also real life just kick's in, you get busy, best friends get divorced, etcc and the slightly askew innards just somehow shift to not being the no. 1 thing you think about from morning till night. Well in my case that's what happened. I can hardly believe it myself..

Chrisine's site and book and video and all the women here are an amazing and unique resource of course that facilitates this no end!

Wellcome here, and best wishes,

Anne

mere4

April 10, 2007 - 6:07pm

It's true, you do get to a point where you just have to get on with life, and I've had better days recently. For one thing I was suffering with terrible allergies and since treating that and not coughing nearly as much, things seem much less pooched out down there! I seem to go for days or weeks without noticing it at all and then bam, something happens to make it noticable again. Some days it seems totally gone, I can't feel it, can't see it, nothing, why is that? I recently went to my gyn for the yearly pap smear thing, and just out of curiosity, didn't mention it at all, wondering if he would...not only did he not mention it, but after he came back in after the exam, I asked him about it, and he said, "i didn't notice anything". It floors me how I can be so aware of something that must seem so insignificant to someone who is supposed to be a "professional" in that area.
At least I know I'm not the only one out there feeling betrayed and angry at my own body. I've had more serious medical situations and not had the feelings of dispair. What is it about this condition that makes you feel so...deformed? And it seems like everyone here is going through it or has in the past...
On the brighter side, I have actually dared to go riding several times, and thankfully, have noticed no ill effects! Yeah!
Thanks so much for the encouraging words, it does help and it does make you feel less alone. I'm trying to remain optomistic and take it one day at a time!
Mere