Midwife yelled at me to stop pushing because I was pushing my uterus out!

OMG your story is an amazing one. Whatever your hubby thinks - Tell him that sex is a GOOD tightening therapy. He is being very mean to say things like the 60yr old thing. You are only 10 weeks post partum and things WILL be looser at this time - It can take a year or so for things to get back to 'normal' down there.

If you do the posture, things will rise back up and this will not be the problem it is at this time. My first birth was with forceps also. That is what started all the problems I have with prolapses. Now. My first son is nearly 19, my second son is 17 1/2 and my daughter is 4 1/2. After I gave birth to my first I was sure a brick was gonna fall outta me - Thats the dragging feeling I know now as prolapse but back then I didnt know what it could be.

Since finding out it was called prolapse about 2 yrs ago - Posture has made my life soooooooooooooooooo much more normal again and it can for you too :)

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

I also have IC, which just AGGRAVATES the whole thing, doesn't it? I am now 30, but I had my one and only son a year ago at 29 years old. Shortly after I discovered that I have all three prolapses. The rectocele hasn't changed, but the other two have greatly improved in the last year! I know what its like to have IC and a cystocele, though, and I know how it feels to know your vajayjay has deteriorated beyond its years. Sometimes I look at my friends and feel green with envy that they came out unscathed. But everyone has their cross to bear, right? To be honest, I do turn to my husband for lots of support. He knows what I'm going through. But I try not to carry on constantly with all the sordid details about what exactly is going on in my vagina anymore because I know that somehow, no matter how unfair it seems, it kinda impacts his view of my sexuality. Right or wrong, I think thats just how it is.
When I was newly postpartum and had just found out about my 'lapses (I don't see the pro in any of it), I was insane with worries and fears and wondering what would become of me in the years to come. I've since become much more calm about it all and learned that its really not the end - I'm sure you'll reach that point too! Take care of yourself and please enjoy your new little guy - that was the best advice I got when this happened to me, and now I'm glad I didn't let the prolapses ruin my time with my newborn.
MichelleK

Hi Michelle

What a great response. You are a wise, wise woman. Thankyou for posting.

Cheers

Louise

oh my, how cruel can a doctor be??? its one thing when they don't empathize,etc etc, but to say you've got a 60 yo's body??? to a postpartum woman??? I think I would have dissolved into tears right there in his office.

ok, listen. as bad as you feel now, it will get better. really it will. firstly, you're body is in healing mode now. so much changes after childbirth. so give it some time.
as far as your dh, I'm with michelle. I try not to talk about the gory details of my 'celes because I do think it will affect the way my husband sees me. not with his eyes, I mean. or maybe its that my perception of my sexuality colors his. make any sense?
but your dh needs a swift kick in the pants if he's avoiding sex because of this. you need him now and he needs to know that. sex is good for prolapses and its good for your psyche.

its high time our men (dr's, husbands, the whole lot of them) learned how to properly care for new moms. GENTLY and SWEETLY.

I'm sorry you're going through this now, I feel so lucky that I didn't find my prolapse soon after childbirth. I don't think I could have handled it emotionally.
but stick around here, we get it. and the women here are fantastically supportive. and the posture really does help.

{{hugs}}

Oh, IMHO, I don't think so. Be gentle. In my experience, men often say inappropriate things because they really don't understand fully what is happening for you, in your heart I mean, not physical details. He is probably more than a bit scared that sex is over for ever and moreso that something is happening to your body that you are feeling a bit scared about and don't know quite what to do. So he is scared for you too, and probably wants to make it better and look after you through this.

Men do and say funny things when they are scared and sometimes get paralysed and unable to do anything, lest they upset the applecart even more. I think you need some gentle, quiet and close conversation and hugs with him to reassure him and allow him to reassure you. What do you have to lose?

Good luck.

Louise

I feel so much sympathy for you and I will be spending a long day working today --work that takes little thought so I will use it to pray for you!

I agree with Louise. I also think that men are much weaker than we are sexually. Maybe getting him to be physical with you in so called non sexual ways could help. Back rubs etc. I wouldn't involve him in anymore info--details. I do not myself with mine. Just what he needs to know I guess. Like I did not tell him the Dr said I would be all loose and he wouldn't like sex until I had surgery---until we had sex several times and my husband told me I felt tighter and smaller than I ever had---then I told him and said that the Dr was wrong and we we right to choose not to do anything and wait.
You might think you are looser because you feel things slipping--I did but when it comes to sex it is the opposite feeling...in fact for me things moved advantageously and I am much more sensitive now!
I thought our sex life was over when I was diagnosed...it is much better. No one can say a dang word about this. I mean my Dr told me I was LOOSE and I am in fact tighter to the man who counts okay? It could be the very same for you!!
I will think and pray for you all day!!

How lucky for you to have such a Spirit as Therese’s praying for you! Talk about science…prayer has been proven to be affective! What a dear gift, Therese...thank you!

Goodness Gracious- What the heck- Is 60 old or something? I hardly see a difference between a 60 year old womans breasts and my very own.....or her armpit or her knee- Idiots the whole lot. Age is just a number- isn't it how you treat your body that determines how it ages? I imagine a 60 year old with out children would look way way "younger" than me and my torn up stuff.......
Fruitful womb - hang in there and give it some time. You will get better- and kiss that midwife good bye- she doesn't sound very supportive.

You are only as old as you think you are. I will be 61 next month, and I don't think one "looks old down there"! I look just like I did years ago. Fruitful womb - check out my picture on my website thru the contact page - show it to your husband - tell him that picture was taken two years ago, and that 60 year old women can be just as active as a 20 year old - especially if she takes care of herself! (There are a few added wrinkles on the face because of the pain I've endured since then, but all in all, and in spite of what I've been through-it's not such a bad body). I learned to snow ski at age 38 and fully intend to do a "Canopy trip on a zip line" this fall with my three grown sons and grandchildren. I know I will have to be careful because of my fibromyalgia or connective tissue disorder or whatever the docs want to call it, but that will not stop me from looking forward and moving forward to whatever else I can and want to do. And yes, 60 year old women have sex, too, and love every minute of it, regardless of the prolapse. DH likes it, too.

I agree with alemama, kiss that midwife goodbye and hang in there. You need one who is more aware of prolapse and how to deal with it. Things will get better.

Blessings,
Grandma Joy

this comes up every now and then here.
while estrogen may be able to plump up vaginal tissue or help with dryness, I'm not convinced it can do much for a prolapse.