arousal

Hi Fruitful Womb

Oh yesss, wanting to pee is normal for me too. I remember first feeling it at about the age of 19 too, probably just after my first experience of sex, actually. It really held me back sexually for many, many years. I hated it, because I have had stress incontinence right through childhood, and I held back from it, thinking it was wrong to let go of urine unless I was on the toilet, certainly wrong when in the middle of lovemaking. Of course, that also meant I was unable to let go sexually, because I had to be in control of myself.

The end of the story is that when my 3 prolapses made their presence felt several years ago I had to finally deal with the incontinence problem, and found that Wholewoman techniques have enabled me to have a more stable bladder than I have had all through my adult years. I now ensure that I empty my bladder properly in the toilet before sex gets too far underway, then I know that only a little urine will be in there, and if that gets spilt it is no big deal. Now I can really let myself go and enjoy arousal and sex the way we are meant to enjoy it, with my whole body. I at last experienced joyful orgasm at the age of about 50! How's that for a late awakening? ;-D

The funny thing is that I lose all control of my bladder during orgasm, which is wet, uncomfortable and embarrassing with a full bladder, but I have found that I also ejaculate, as many women do. It seems to come from the same spot, but it is not urine because my bladder has been fully emptied only a short time previously, and there is sometimes quite a bit of fluid that squirts out! I have researched this on the Net, and found many many women experience ejaculation on a regular basis, and there is some scientific basis for it. As far as I can gather, sometimes it is mainly urine, and sometimes it is mainly a fluid which seems to be like male prostatic fluid, which makes sense, but I don't think anybody is too sure yet where exactly it comes from in the female body as we have no prostate that is anything like the male prostate. However, I also find that it is very difficult to pee when I am highly aroused, which makes me think that we do have something like the prostate that prevents expulsion of urine and ejaculate together? I dunno, I'll leave that to the sex researchers to sort out!

So maybe you are just experiencing ejaculation, which is good if you can enjoy it fully, but unpleasant if you think you are peeing yourself in a major way and are unable to fully enjoy one of life's great joys.

Have a think about it. Empty your bladder beforehand and just shove a big absorbent towel underneath you to mop up with so you don't end up falling asleep in a warm puddle afterwards. Also get a good mattress protector for your bed. Woollen blankets are good because they do not let the moisture through, and absorb a lot of fluid before actually feeling wet. Good sex can be very messy, but I wouldn't be without it for the world!

As for sitting on your cystocele, I can see that it is really worrying you. I find that sitting without my back resting against anything is the best way to get my bladder to stay forward. It is also important to really let your lower belly go as well. That might mean undoing any tight clothing and letting it all hang out while sitting. I have been doing this Wholewoman posture for nearly two years now, and I have just realised that I still hold my lower belly in most of the time. I am having a hard time teaching it to relax, but I am getting there, slowly. Before you sit down for a period of time it might be useful to do some firebreathing or at least get down on all fours and let your belly go, to kind of wriggle it up a bit, before rising, belly loose, and sit down with your arms up in the air to keep your bladder up. It is all about locking your bladder up between your pubic bone and the sacrum by giving it the room to rest against the lower abdominal wall. It might look a bit wierd to other observers, so you might want to try it in private a few times first. ;-) It will probably need quite a bit of concentration at first. You may be able to find a few different ways you can make your bladder move up, just by trial and error. All our bodies are different, and are damaged in different ways. I hope you have some success. I am sure all is not lost, though I understand how frustrated you must feel.

Cheers

Louise

This is something that plagues 'sponteneity' (sp?)
I make sure the last thing I do is pee - lol - Otherwise nothing is gonna happen cos the urge to want to pee (even if it is a fake urge lol) Is too string and annoying.

Mostly hough - If I have pee'd - Once things get going that need to pee seems to leave until it's over. Luckily only once have I had to get up and pee mid-way lol (Prolly very offputting for him lol)

Maybe it is an over active bladder? I know it is always worse just before my period - Maybe because the bladder is being annoying at that time?

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

Hi Fruitful Womb

Whoo! This is getting pretty personal. Of course I am happy to discuss this, but it is TMI for me to do on this Forum. ("Aha! At last we have pushed her over the edge. She does have some modesty after all!", I hear you say!)

I'll email you privately. If there is anyone else who wants to be in on the discussion privately, email me and I'll seek FW's permission. If others want to develop this thread publicly, please go ahead, but I'll reply privately to FW on this particular point.

Cheers

Louise