Help I had surgery!!!

Submitted by Anna on July 16, 2007 - 1:41pm
Body: 

Hello Christine....I had surgery before I read your book....and was put under loads of pressure by the surgeon to go for corrective surgery he was very unpleasant to me about smelly cervixes although now I realise my prolapse was not that extreme. My womb is now meshed to the base of my spine and I also had surgery on the vagina to correct a front vaginal prolapse.....I can no longer enjoy sexual intercourse with my partner...|I have forgotten what it is like to have an orgasm...the area around my clitoris is numb.....please is there anything that I can do to help my situation? I do some yoga and I walk lots and swim and my general health is good, can you give me advise on diet or herbs or any exercise that can reverse some of the damage that surgery has caused. I really miss my sexuality and sometimes think that I am in some sort of nightmare...if I pinch myself maybe I will wake up and be me again.

I rushed into surgery before fully finding out all the facts but here in England I could not get hold of your book it took nearly 3 months to arrive from the States via Amazon, by then it was too late. There seems to be so much ignorance here in the UK related to pelvic floor surgery....all my friends and family encouraged me to go for surgery. None of them knew the facts and the true effects.... they all believed the doctors!!!! It was difficult to get information from the internet which just seems to give basic facts about the wonders of modern surgical techniques. I was in a really lovely relationship which sadly is over as a result of the surgical mess made of my genitals, I am emotionally and psychologically devastated and find it hard not to cry all the time....any help advice would be really welcome , I am feeling really alone in all this,but would like to help destroy the myths that surgery is good for pelvic floors and inform women in England of the true facts and some of the more conservative methods of dealing with prolapse and related disorders, Anna

granolamom

July 16, 2007 - 8:33pm

I am so sorry to hear your story. unfortunately, medical science has yet to understand that the surgical 'cure' for prolapse is oftentimes worse than the prolapse itself.

as you now know, this work is based on the premise of an intact pelvis. however, I don't believe that you are doomed. I believe that the mind, spirit and body are resilient. I think you are now forced to learn all you can about your new design, how you can live with it, how you can heal yourself. there aren't too many women here who have had surgery, so you will have to do alot of that work on your own. we will all be here for you, supporting you, cheering you on, but its a very different journey than one which has bypassed the surgeon's knife.
but please don't feel alone, you are not. you sound like a strong woman, and I think its women like yourself that can bring enlightenment and save others from a similar fate.

by the way, how long ago was your surgery? is it possible that the numbness is a temporary thing? the good news, I guess, is that you still have your uterus, albeit meshed to your spine (sounds so painful!). I think maybe take some time to see what you still have and work from there.

sending healing vibes your way

louiseds

July 16, 2007 - 11:35pm

Hi Anna

You sound angry, and I am not surprised. What you have ended up with should never have happened, but sadly does, to a lot of women. I can only agree with Granolamom. It is so sad when you take an action in good faith with the information available at the time and supported by those around you, then it all goes pear-shaped. This has been truly life changing for you in many ways, and like any lifechanging event it will take some time for you to recover your energy, resilience and positive outlook.

You are experiencing a very real grief and you may find yourself going through all the classic stages of grief on the way to full recovery. Go easy on yourself, and don't expect the impossible. Just go with what is possible and maybe you will be surprised with how things pan out for you, and how you can somehow move on from it.

Feel free to keep calling back to vent your ideas and frustrations, and get ideas for how to deal with your new body. It really is important to tell as many women as possible about your experiences so that they will not be repeated on others.

Also, do perservere with learning the posture and all the other techniques. They *may* help you to avoid future problems.

Hugs to you.

Louise

MeMyselfAndI

July 17, 2007 - 1:11am

I wish the book had gotten to you faster :(
And I am so sorry about your relationship and problems that you now have.

Never feel alone for we are here and we will all hold you up for as long as you need. I am sure that things will get easier in time.

Where abouts in the Uk are you - I am in Kent. I agree that alot of Dpctors in this country think that they are Gods and as they tell us in a very condescending manner what is wrong with us we just believe them - Even when you go to BUPA after they have taken your money they really do not talk in such an open manner.

You sound like a very strong woman and I am sure that you will make it through this. Feel free to email me whenever - I am happy to chat :)

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

wenz

July 17, 2007 - 2:58am

Hi Anna, I am so sorry to hear how unpleasant your experience has been with doctors and surgery. The older I get the more suspicious or wary I am of professionals, including doctors. They are not Gods and I am afraid that I have found some male doctors in particular to be very gung ho and insensitive about women. I hope you stay with this group of really wise and supportive women - I am sure it will help you psychologically. I was put under a little pressure to have surgery but not a lot and in fact it was my husband leaving me and not having much money as a result that put me off surgery in the end. He didn't leave me because of the prolapse, although it may have been one of the things that he didn't like. But this isn't about me except in so far as like you, a very precious relationship ended and I so very much sympathise with how you are feeling. Despite everything, love yourself and your body - in time you may feel very differently and be able to move on. I think the other replies you have had are very sound too. Cheers, Wendy

Anna

August 14, 2007 - 5:04am

Thanks for all the lovely replies they are really heartwarming. Amazingly enough I have no pain in my back or the top of my legs from the mesh and I hope that this continues...it is just the new design of my genital organs that is taking some getting used to.
I have met no women yet who have had this surgery though would really love to do so, so that we can share experiences. The surgery was about 11 months ago, would healing take that long? Am I likely to get some more feeling back? I am loath to go and visit any doctors so have not had a check since the 6 week check following surgery. I had a private health plan with my job at the time and I sincerely believe that it was because I was a private patient that I was encouraged and pushed into surgery!!!! Thanks so much for hte healing vibes, Anna