Getting worse?

Body: 

I was hoping to have a non-prolapse-obessessed week (ie not fretting constantly), and have instead been concentrating on the postures - I have been dutifully sitting cross legged with proper alignment, taking walks etc... and yet, dare I say it, today my symptoms appear worse than ever. I knew I had a moderate cystocele and UP, but I think I may now have developed a mild rectocele.

Is it possible for things to get worse before they get better? Feeling somewhat doomed....:-(

Have an appointment with the UroGyn one of the forum members recommended to have a pessary fitted, but am bracing myself for a sharp intake of breath from him, and the 'oh dear' face. Is the consensus generally that a pessary may give me the leg up I need in order to see some reversal?

Hi Cynical,

Type "getting worse" into the search function and you will see that this is almost an ubiquitous experience. Everyone seems to get through it!

:) Christine

...thanks Christine. I did the search, and got some comfort.

Also just wondering if there is anyone else out there that has a protrusion of the anterior vaginal wall - a 'scaley' bit of tissue. All the pictures seem to show a cystocele bulging from a seemingly intact anterior vaginal wall (ie the cystocele is the smooth first bulge you see), whereas I have what I know should be inside on the outside as well as cystocele as well as UP, and I suspect small rectocele).

Is this (what I am calling)anterior wall prolapse, in clinial terms, considered to be distinct from cystocele, and how common is it?

I hope my description made sense. I think I am losing my marbles.

Hi Cynical,

I am sorry you are going through all of this, it is so hard. I remember well going through the same feelings of panic, and checking all the time. This does get better I promise!

I think you will find that a cystocele IS basically an anterior wall prolapse. Everyone gets a slightly different presentation with it, but it is basically the bladder bulging out the anterior vaginal wall. It is also common to see the "scaley" skin or "rugae" which is described well in Christine's book.

It is also possible to have a urethrocele which is bulging or prolapse of the urethra, though I am not for one minute suggesting that this is what you have.

I was interested in one of your recent posts about most women having less than perfect vagina's after childbirth. I definitely have to agree with you. I think that most women have prolapse actually, they may not have actual bulges, but I bet if you asked them to bear down that their vaginal walls would bulge. This is basically prolapse, albeit with a less obvious presentation. All those women who describe things as being looser probably have prolapse as well. I also agree that the general lack of information and knowledge about this oh so common problem is astounding. Someone recently described it as the best kept womens health secret. Again, I couldn't agree more.

Once again, I am sorry you are feeling so uncertain with all of this. Please find some comfort from everyone here as we all completely understand you know!

Hugs to you,

Michelle xxx

I see Michelle just answered your questions very well, but I will include what I wrote all the same...

Prolapse of the anterior wall is the same as cystocele. You may have a cystocele that has stretched more from the pelvic sidewalls. This presents a bit differently than the smooth bulge of the bladder uniformly stretching the front vaginal wall. The “scales” are the vaginal folds, or rugae, that allow it to stretch like an accordian.

Louise just described her rectocele as “sausage like”. This is the “digitated” form of rectocele breaking through a smaller section of rectovaginal fascia as opposed to the soft, pillow-like bulge of the rectum stretching the back vaginal wall more uniformly.

Many women develop cystocele first, with the back vaginal wall then moving in to form the most common presentation of prolapse, cystocele/rectocele. One of our earliest members, Sybille, called this “nature’s pessary” due to the way the bulging walls prevent the uterus from sliding all the way down.

Thanks your replies, especially for the anatomical clarification. That's what I like about you guys - you come up with the goods everytime, and that makes me want to trust in the potential of the programme and stick with it.

On the issue of nature's pessary, at the moment, I am definitely predominantly a 'front bulger' - the cystocele and cervix pretty much at the same level, most of the time at the vaginal entrance..boo hiss! The idea of a rectocele developing and squeezing the uterus back up somewhat may be nature's pessary, but I do hope I am spared it, as the back end seems to be in good functional order at present (small mercies)!! :-)

So thanks again for your postings. This condition makes one very 'me-oriented', yet at the same time more empathetic of others in the same position, and in general. Yet another contradiction I felt compelled to point out.

Over and out for now xxx

Hey Cynical...well lets see. I just had a rectocele- then a few months into it I was feeling really heavy and felt around and found my bladder pressing in. and then my cervix came low-
I am now 10 months postpartum and I have known about my prolapse for about 8 or 9 months. All I can tell you is for me it got worse before it got better. And I hesitate to say this but for now- I feel better. My attitude got much better and my cystocele is gone.
Go ahead and be obsessed. It is pretty natural. Part of thinking about it all the time is that you find out what is working and what isn't.
I think I just figured out how to pull up my cervix and bladder. Totally out of the vagina. It is amazing.
I don't think a pessary is necessary. But try it. You might like it.
This is so livable. I know it doesn't feel like that right now but it is. In fact I think it is probably normal.
I just saw the other day that the Diva cup has two sizes. WONDER WHY-
Cynical, hang in there girl it will get better and better- and may get worse too. but you will be able to handle it better. On worse days I rest more. Make sure I have things to look forward to-
Meditate, focus some love into your body.
Now then- Christine I see you are posting some lately. Could you give little more detail into what a digitated rectocele feels like? My rectocele is a small (walnut shell) very low in the vagina but it is soft. I understand the second description you gave about the whole back wall being soft- that isn't me- but my rectocele also doesn't feel like a finger? Thanks for any clarification.

Hi Cynical

Yes, things can get worse for a bit, especially before and during a period, even after a couple of years of Wholewoman stuff. The good thing is though, that you know it will get better again in a few days.

The others have described the rugae of the vagina, but there is also the G-spot a bit higher up on the anterior wall. Let's not forget that little jewel! The texture of mine is kind of scaly, more spongy really, not squishy, quite different from the ridged rugae, and not smooth like the rest of the vagina.

As for being obsessed, you need to get a bit obsessed to learn a whole new set of skills. You need to get obsessed if you are going to learn about a whole new area of knowledge when your wellbeing is at stake. You have to become a bit obsessed to get your body to do extraordinary things - athletes do it all the time. Christine is a bit of an athlete, as is Clonmacnoise and some of the other Members who spend a lot of time keeping their bodies doing the right thing.

Your body is your vehicle, the means of looking after others in your life, and looking after yourself. It carries your mind and is the temple of your soul. You might as well have it working as well as possible, and capable of doing all it needs and wants to do. It can also give you a lot of pleasure and satisfaction. If getting obsessed is what you have to do, then do it. I'm sure it won't be forever. It does get easier.

As an alternative you could just turn on the tele, slump back, eat chips and drink Coke, and play victims for the rest of your life. How worthwhile would that be? I don't think so.

The more you know, the more you can understand, the more critical analysis you can do of people's opinions, and how they might relate to you and your body. This definitely applies to health professionals and especially those who think their knife work would be preferable to anything you can do for yourself. Keep at it.

Cheers

Louise

Hurrah - I can go ahead and get obsessed.

It's funny isn't it, the contrast between the Wholewoman approach and the conventional approach. My UroGyn simply told me to forget about it and come back and see her in 3 months once I had 'come to terms with it' - what a wasted 3 months that may have been!

LOL! Me too. At least we can laugh about it. What else can we do? I wish more woman would think about it, and research about it before caving in to 'medical advice'.

Cheers

Louise

Well…I think grapes, walnuts and sausages would be considered the digitated type. These are all usually very low in the back wall.