my story

Submitted by elleninala on August 14, 2007 - 11:34pm
Body: 

Hello friends! I feel that I have friends here. Friends are those who will share their thoughts and feelings with you, and empathize with yours. So much of what I read here is my own experience as well. I will be 60 next month. I noticed my prolapse a few months ago, shortly after my annual ob/gym visit, so I haven't been to the doctor since it manifested. I'm sure it's been developing for many years. Because of what I've learned here, I am no longer alarmed by it. I feel I have extremely good information about how to cope and manage it. I have Christine's new book. The facts and the spirit, it arms you with both. You have to have both.

Prolapse makes me live one day at a time. It makes me grateful for each day that I have. It make me accountable for my own health. It makes me more compassionate toward others.

I have a cystocele, and a small amount of rectocele. No sort of incontinence, at least not yet. The worst part is feeling the bulge most of the time. I do several things for it -- the posture, more rest, and some changes in how I dress. I love to sew and make patterns and clothes for myself, so that helps a lot since I'm able to alter patterns so that things are comfortable and fit and don't pull down where they shouldn't.

My stepdaughter gave birth to her second baby this month and my husband and I visited to help them with their 2-year-old and the baby. It was a joy to watch over her and give her a little more rest time, and urge her to take care of herself and her precious inner structures at this time. Young women must know how to be proud of their miraculous and beautiful bodies, what the pitfalls are, and how to guard against them. My generation still suffers from the shame we felt about our bodies, and I believe that not being taught to hold ourselves proudly has a lot to do with prolapse. At 59 I'm learning the lumbar curve!

I send my deep gratitude to Christine for the life she is living and sharing, and the work she is doing, which is of so much help to so many. And to all who participate in these discussions I send my love and gratitude. The sharing of these most intimate experiences is a lifeline for us, isn't it? I hope we stay in touch for all the years to come.

Ellen (in Alabama)

MeMyselfAndI

August 14, 2007 - 11:55pm

Welcome - It is good that you understand and that you are impartng your knowledge to younger women :-)

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

louiseds

August 14, 2007 - 11:57pm

Hi Ellen

All you say is so true. Your wisdom brings tear to my eyes. You have put it so well.

I think one of the wonderful things about our communications here is that it enables us to face our fears and dispel them with fellowship and new knowledge. Fear is born of ignorance, and there are people in the world who attempt to gain power over others by keeping them ignorant. It is the oldest trick in the book. But I am afraid all these (Wholewoman) peasants really are revolting, in a big way, and will not be kept ignorant and helpless. We will *not* pass on that ignorance and shame to the next generation of women. More power to the peasants!!

It is not only the new facts we learn, or the tricks we learn for how to do the things we have to do. There is also a lot of open debate and clarification, and basically I think we treat each other with respect, and each other's ideas with respect. We also recognise that we are all different, what will work for one may not work for another, but if one woman each day learns something that empowers her to be her own healer, and passes that on to another woman or two, then we have succeeded as a group.

I too give thanks for all the work Christine has put into making it happen.

Cheers

Louise

cynical

August 15, 2007 - 2:31am

I have a daughter and the enormity of my task of raising a balanced person with healthy feminine body image is just starting to hit me.

When I found out about my prolapse, my first instinct was to speak to my female relatives and find out whether they had any experience of similar issues. Sadly, my mum and maternal grandmother are no longer alive, so a lot of that womanly experience is now gone, but it was amazing from talking to my sister (the only relative I felt comfortable talking to) how many of our close female relatives have been hysterectomised or had 'women's problems'. However it's always been very 'hush, hush', which is such a pity as it just perpetuates the feeling among younger women that yes, your body is faulty/ diseased and eventually will need to have parts of it removed, but it's not appropriate to talk about it. I was alarmed to find out from my partner how clearly he remembers his mother sobbing about her hysterectomy (which I would bet my life savings was not necessary), and that he suspected that it was partly due to pressure from his father to have a permanent solution to the issue of contraception (which clearly didn't involve him going under the knife). It makes your blood boil.

I guess it makes sense that a 'life changing' condition would change your perspective on life. At the moment I am finding it hard at times to focus on my daughter due to my 'prolapse obsession', but I hope that in time that the lessons I have learnt will make me a better mother.

But for now, I am off to puree some carrots...

Christine

August 15, 2007 - 10:04am

Dear Ellen,

Thank you so very much for your beautiful expressions. I NEVER could’ve done this alone and it has taken all of us to buoy each other and bring this important change to the planet. I’m completely grateful for the women who keep writing to express their wisdom and supporting one another as well as new members. Yes, I can see us sharing for the rest of our lives!

Heartfully,

Christine

MeMyselfAndI

August 15, 2007 - 3:11pm

I really hope that my daughter is open and accepting to this knowledge when she hits say her puberty years and beyond - Sheis only 4 now - But I hope I have the words to impart to her how the posture will protect her for life - And if she starts it early she will be one step ahead of the game...

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg

elleninala

August 15, 2007 - 4:01pm

Many thanks for your warm and thoughtful replies. The WholeWoman community is terrific!

Ellen

louiseds

August 15, 2007 - 10:25pm

Hi Sue

Yes, I think you are right being very open with your daughter and about having the vocabulary to talk to her about her body as she grows up. Puberty and the teenaged years for daughters can be awful from the point of view of discussing those topics concerned with our bodies, our sexuality, reproduction, relationships etc. Some women seem to have almost a 'best friends' type of relationship with their daughters, and they can discuss anything. Not my daughter and me!!! <:- she="" was="" a="" real="" daddy="" girl="" as="" teenager.="" i="" didn="" get="" look="" in="" but="" that="" another="" story.="">

I was quite open about body stuff all with all our kids right throughout childhood, even past the point of them saying, "Ohhhh, yuk Mum, do you have to talk about these things!!!" I would just press on. However, as they have come into their 20's, as long as I am discreet about it, they are able to talk about all this stuff openly, the boys anyway. My daughter has always fought talking about 'serious' things, being the queen of avoidance and mistress of denial. However, I stay open with her, and I am pretty sure that she understands and accepts why I am so open. We can talk about her relationships, contraception and reproductive stuff, as long as it is in small bites, so it is not all bad. *And I have noticed her pulling up into posture recently*, her being a bit of a slumper when she is feeling butch and strong (She lives in a world of young men, studying in agriculture. She will get over it. )

What I am saying is that if I had not been open with her as a child I am darned sure that I would have very little chance of being open with her now. She knows that 'I am like that', and there is little she can do about it. It is all she has ever known, and at least she knows that I won't swoon or run out of the room if she wants to discuss these things with me. My Mum was not open and accepting with me as a girl. I got the Johnson and Johnson book about periods as a 12 year old, and when I told her at 20 that I was on the Pill she replied uncomfortably, "Well, I hope you won't go all promiscuous then!" I really was hoping to get a slightly different answer, but I think it is just a generation thing.

So keep up the openness Sue, even if you have a period of 10 or so years when she doesn't respond and seems to be in a teenaged wilderness where her Mum is a 'totally embarrassing idiot'. You have started early so keep up the good work.

Cheers

Louise

MeMyselfAndI

August 16, 2007 - 2:35am

I have two sons whom both know that I am not squeamish and don't find 'rude' things really rude in that way - But with my daughter - I hope it goes the same way...

A couple of years ago my eldest said to me ''Mum I need to talk to you'' OMG I think to myself - ARGH

I won't say what he said but after he just simply said to me 'Well who else would I go to''

Made me so proud :-) So hopefully if my 17yr old son (Now 19 in Nov) can come to me when He needed to - I hope that she will be able to. My Mother is also an ear for them if they feel they don't want to or cannot talk to me. They know this although they also know she would prolly tell me anyhoo lol...

I think we need to keep the communication open - With Girls especially as if they cannot come to us - They will go to a Dr - And to me - That is something I would like to avoid in this kinda thing.

I said to my partner the other day - If I ever go into hospital for anything 'Underparticle-wise' I want it written in permanent pen down below - And for him to make it 100% CLEAR Than I DO NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM want ANY help whatsoever with 'Fixing' what is NOT BROKEN!

He understands - But I do also wonder if a UK MR Fix-It-All-F***-It-Up Doctor would actually listen - But I would bloody Sue if he didn't! And you would prolly see me on TV outing him to the whole planet. Plus when I sign a Operation agreement I will at that point make my feelings on surgery KNOWN very clearly - That por girl who had surgery when not asking for it on here made me think about this alot.

I digress... lol...
Had a fall lastnight - So off to lick my wounds and count bruises (Don't worry - I will survive :-)

Sue

Look into the eyes - They hold the key!
http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/img/maddy544x150Banner.jpg