Postpartum -New here and sad :( is there any hope for this to get better?

Body: 

Hi,

I have just discovered these forums because the other day, I noticed a bulge coming out of my vagina. I am 4 months post partum, and when I had my check-up 2 weeks ago, the doctor said my bladder was coming down a bit, but didn't seem concerned at that time. Everything felt okay until the other day when I felt the bulge, which I think is at least a grade 2 prolapse (?). In other words, it has definately worsened since I was at the doctor's.
I'm very sad because this is my first baby, I want to have several more, and I was really into babywearing - and now I notice the bulge gets worse after even a few minutes in the sling. I can feel it peeking out of me.

I feel really let down. Before this baby was born, I did TONS of research into childbirth and as a result really tried for a natural childbirth. I even refused to let my doctor induce because of the associated risks! My baby was born 2 weeks late, weighing almost 10 pounds, and labour wasn't that bad, although I ended up having an episiotomy due to fetal distress. Now I feel really let down and like none of that mattered, because I'm having complications anyway!

Basically, what I want to know is:
1)Can I still have lots of kids
2)Can my prolapse ever get better
3)Can I continue to babywear and what are the best ways

Thanks.

Welcome.

1 yes, I am sure you'll hear soon from some of our mums who have carried and birthed with prolapse. Most of them are probably asleep at the moment but they will hit the Internet sooner or later. Hey, I am actually one of them, but I forgot!
2 yes, it will never be cured, even by surgery, but you can improve the symptoms, maybe to the point where you do not even notice your organs.
3 yes, you can continue to babywear, but you may need to experiment a bit, and it changes as your baby grows. Again, many of our mums are baby wearers. They will point you in the right direction.

Meanwhile go to www.wholewoman.com and check out the FAQ's where you will find out the basics of Wholewoman posture which is the main new thing to learn, and diet, clothing and lifestyle changes you can make. Also have a trawl through the Forum and use the Search box to see what other women have found, then call back here with some more questions.

Cheers

Louise

welcome and congrats on the new baby
I have a 4 mo too, he's my fourth and my post-prolapse baby.
so YES you can have more babies!!! (and I highly recommend it, I love babies)

my prolapse right now, at 4 mo pp is better than it was when I first found it (when my third child was 18 mo). it was even better when I was pg, up until the end when everything down there was so swollen I didn't know what was what.

please STOP telling yourself that all of your hard work was for naught. who knows how much worse off you'd be if you hadn't gone into labor as prepared as you were.
you know, we can always question things like episiotomies, etc until its YOU and YOUR BABY they're talking about. we can say that maybe you didn't need an episiotomy, but when a dr tells you your baby's in distress and you do, that's not the time to second guess. YOU PROTECTED YOUR BABY

now, without me getting on my 'episiotomy' soap box, you are left with a prolapse, probably directly related to that episiotomy. but all is not lost. there is much you can do to help things heal well and reposition your bladder. read up on the faq's here and try to get your hands on christine's book (the second edition). its full of information and diagrams explaining what a prolapse is, how it happens, how it can be stabilized, reversed and prevented. there's also a chapter on pregnancy, and exercises too.

now, regarding babywearing, I'll be honest, on the bad days, wearing my baby does make things worse. I'm trying to figure out how to get him on my back, hoping that will help. still haven't gotten around to getting a mei tai type carrier and not having much luck with the woven wrap. but I have found that if I wear him high up on my chest and tight! it is easier to keep my posture and easier on the prolapse. this is much easier to do in the wrap than in the sling.
good news is that I am having more good days than bad lately and don't notice the prolapse much.

#1. I have 3 babies and have a prolapse. I plan to have more. Encouraged by those ladies here doing just that (thank you all). The only change is I plan to wait a little longer in between pregnancies. So my baby is almost a year and I am itching to have another one but I am going to wait another year if I can before getting pregnant. I want to see how much I will heal PP- and I figure if I wait 2 years that will be long enough.
#. I developed a cystocele in addition to my rectocele not long after I discovered the rectocele and now it is gone. I have been doing some abdominal isolation work and it has really helped. In addition to that I have been doing yoga 3 times a week and the ballet exercises 2 times a week and stroller exercise a couple of days a week. I thought the rectocele was getting better but it isn't and I don't worry- it isn't getting any worse.
#3. My baby is huge. I wear him in an Ergo on my back and can do this with out change in my prolapse for a few hours everyday. In the beginning I could only wear him for a few minutes before I could feel tonz of pressure and everything pushing down and the next day my prolapse would be worse- so I know my muscles are getting stronger. In the beginning I let things go a little so I could sit on the floor more and hold my baby.
It sounds like you did the very best you could for your birth and baby. Congratulations on your new little one. I spent at least a few weeks with my prolapse over-shadowing the joy of having a new baby and I regret that now. Just enjoy it- they grow up so fast.
Try no to worry too much you will get better.

I am 45 and I had a cystocle and a rectocyle.I know htis website is against this but I opted to have the surgery..It is wonderful..I am telling you for me it was the way to go..My bladder was like I was crowning a baby at all times..I don't understand why these women on the website want to suffer when you can get it fixed..I mean it is wonderful...Now as far as having babies after the surgery...that is another story..I first saw mine about 12 years ago after my big baby Jake who was 10 pounds...She told me it could be fixed but she suggested to wait until after I had had all the babies that I was going to have. So after Jake I had 3 more..It progressively got worse over the years and at the beginning of this year it was to the crowning point....But no more..Now I don't plan to have any more kids but she said if I did get pregnant I would probably have a C-section because the birth would tear the repair work...So I would wait until you have all the children that you want but then go for it...It is wonderful to be normal again.

to quote angelakay "I don't understand why these women on the website want to suffer when you can get it fixed"

you really don't understand.

I am not suffering. I feel great; whole and strong. I am living extremely well with my prolapse and don't need or want my body 'fixed', sutured or altered in any way.
two years of postural work has only improved the overall quality of my life, and I think *that is wonderful

OK, so thanks to wonderful Canadian wait times, it is 6 weeks til I can see a gyno. about this. After reading this site, I'm not sure if that might actually be a good thing;)

I am trying the posture, but find that unless I tilt to the point where I get backaches, it still feels like things are falling out, and I can't walk for more than about 15 min. without things getting worse. Am I doimg this wrong?

Canadian wife and mom of 1 boy

Hi Gracemom

I think you have to be a bit careful of the backache thing. Lift your ribcage and breasts with the upper back more than tilting the pelvis with the lower back. On the other hand it is like you can either have one thing or the other, but not both. I think I overdid the pelvic tilt thing and have had backache for a long time. I am now doing feldenkrais to teach my body and brain to use my leg and pelvic muscles to move, rather than my back and ab muscles. I think there is a balance. I am beginning to feel that I can balance my organs over my pubic bone, but not send my back muscles into spasm at the same time. At the same time as this I am gaining confidence that my pelvic organs are not going to fall out of my vagina, and am getting used to different vagina sensations. I am also very aware of how to not do any more damage to pelvic fasciae, ie eat plenty of fibre, and water. Wear non-compressing clothes, sit and stand well.

I think in a way that it doesn't matter if we slouch a little bit when we are watching telly, don't have a perfect diet every single day etc. It is mainly important that we do things right when it is critical, ie standing or walking for a long time, sitting for a long time, lifting properly, getting down on the floor properly, coughing, sneezing, using the toilet etc. It is really about learning to get used to how we are, carrying ourselves better if we can, not compressing our abdomen with tight clothes, eating well so we don't strain at toilet, and generally not doing any further damage. Just cut down the intraabdominal pressure on the pelvic floorm as much as possible, and as often as possible. That is the way to avoid these surgical nightmares.

cheers

Louise

I think it takes a looong time to get it right for you.
at first, I had backaches, but between my shoulder blades. I think each of us comes into this with our own unique set of strengths and weaknesses (both physical and mental). keep reading the posts here, the faq's, the book and keep working on it. after a bit, you will begin to really understand, on a visceral level, what is 'working' for your body and what isn't. then you will also know when you can relax and slouch once in a while and when you need to pay more attention. that is also when you will no longer worry constantly that your insides will fall out.
this work is also about developing a confidence in your body, and in your ability to keep things in. it really works!

so what are you doing 'wrong'? I'd go with louise's response, make sure you're lifting your ribcage and elongating your neck, not just exaggerating the lumbar curve.

hang in there, you'll get it!

So it's been one month and I have been trying the posture, and some of the workout, although due to the baby I have not been able to make it through the whole workout yet. I felt like my symptoms were improving, but now I realize that I also have developed a rectocele (not sure how serious) and my cervix is low. I'm really, horribly disheartened.
Is this normal?

Hi Gracemom,

You've received heaps of invaluable advice already but I just wanted to add that it's really, really early days yet. From my own experience, and from what other ladies have said, the muscles to gain more strength in the first year or so post-partum. When I first had my daughter I couldn't even walk down to the end of my street. Gradually, I could get further and further until I was taking a 20 minute walk every day. About a year or so down the track I could walk for an hour or more.

I think you may need to give yourself more time to heal before really knowing 'where you're at' and looking at surgical intervention. When I first saw my gyno, asking what was wrong, I was told that he wouldn't look at surgery at all until I'd 'finished my family.' That being because a second pg and birth would just undo any repair work. My second option would be to have a repair and have a caesar with the next baby, which definitely sounded like an undesirable choice to me. A urogyn I saw said it was 'too risky' for me to have surgery. This phrase made me wonder straight away why she would call it 'risky.'

Take a look at Christine's book, and you'll have a lot more information to gauge it all on. I wish you luck. I am now pg with baby number two and I have POP, so it can be done. I admit, I'm a bit nervous about it, but everyone I saw said POP is no reason to not be able to have more children.

I hope that helps a little.

I developed a rectocele (mild) shortly after finding this site. I think mine was inevitable, it was probably developing all along and once the cystocele moved out of the way, the rectocele moved in.
I didn't see any real measurable positive change for about a year. during that year, I felt better, had fewer symptoms, but when I looked, the cystocele was right where it was when I started. somedays worse, then back to baseline.
shortly before I got pg with my youngest, I finally was able to see that the cystocele was noticeably smaller and higher up.
now, almost 6 mo postpartum, its where it was pre pg on good days and a bit lower on bad days.
and I can't make it through the whole workout either, babies are time consuming!
so your experience sounds alot like mine, and others who have posted here. it can be frustrating, but hang in there and try to stay positive

((((gracemom))))

Hi Gracemom,

It will get better but it will be slow...
I got to this site 4months pp and I only got worse until 6 months pp (does not mean that you will get worse, though). I developed a moderate rectocele in addition to my cystocele and prolapsed uterus. And then very slowly it started getting better. I am now 1 year pp and I am seeing almost daily improvements. I would say that I do not feel my prolapse 90% of the time. It is still very much there and it did not improve much but I think that the supporting structures somehow got stronger and that helps in not feeling it. And I am very positive that it will even get better at some point. But I know that I have to be patient. And that is not always easy.
I know that it is difficult to believe it now but YOU WILL BE OK!!!! ((( )))

Thanks for your encouragement. Reka and granolamom, I'm wondering at what point you felt you could spend more time carrying or wearing the baby? Really, the main thing that bothers me about this is that I can't babywear at the moment without feeling like everything's getting worse.

Reka,

GREAT to see you back! :) I have been wondering how you have been and I am SO HAPPY that things have stabilised for you and that you are feeling better emotionally and physically!

Big Hugs! xxxx

I'm babywearing. not as often as I did the others, but enough to justify the purchase of two new didy wraps, a sachi mei tai and making a new dupioni sling.
some days I feel as though its making the prolapse more noticeable, some days not. I do try to wear the baby higher and tighter, I find that is helpful in terms of maintaining posture. I'm looking forward to getting my meitai (just ordered it) and trying him on my back in it.
like everything else, alot of this is trial and error, and learning your body's limits. I am so thankful that I found my prolapse before I got pg. I had plenty of time to come to terms with it, learn to read my body's signs and learn to trust in my body's inherent stability before complicating things with postpartum stuff. so now I am comfortable wearing the baby even if the prolapse doesnt feel so good by the end of the day. I know that if I rest a bit the next day and do some plie's and firebreathing it will all go back to baseline.

Just got back from a long walk with grandbaby in her new didy (front facing). Stopped by to see if husb would take a picture but he was on the phone :( Anyway…held my tummy way out for much of the walk to sort of force the posture and give her more to sit on. Feel great prolapse-wise and also worked a kink out of my upper back that I’ve had all morning.

would love to see a pic of you wearing your grandbaby, christine!

she's a gorgeous baby christine!
aren't those didymos wraps comfy? but I find if I wear the baby so low its hard to stay in posture. you look great though.

What type of sling do you use? I use a Moby Wrap and it distributes the weight all over my back and arms and shoulders, so not one area is being weighted down. I make my own. I find stretchy fabric and cut it in a 5 yard by 25 inch strip and you can learn to tie it from mobywrap.com. My baby loved it and my back never got sore, even while carrying her around for 3 hours!

Life
27 year old Mom of 4

right now we have a didymos wrap (non stretchy woven fabric), a maya ring sling, a ring sling that I made out of dupioni silk for going out, and a sachi mei tai on order. can't wait to try that one out.
oh, we also have a baby bjorn and a nojo ring sling but I don't like those as they aren't comfortable at all. dh uses the baby bjorn once in a while.

Okay, a few things.
Granolamom - I am laughing at your obvious baby carrier addiction! So far I have a sling, a moby wrap and we just got an ergo for my husband. I have borrowed a mei tai, but can't actually figure out how to get the baby on my back. He's now almost 6 months old and 18 pounds.

I had a gynaecologist appointment today. Her perspective was not at all what I thought. She said that she didn't think the prolapse would get worse at all(!) and that if I had no symptoms, her advice would be to do nothing. However, since I am having symptoms, she said I could try a pessary, which I am trying now. There was a nurse there who seemed pretty knowledgeable about trying to find the smallest size that would stay in. It's not uncomfortable, but I am really freaked out that wearing a pessary might make things worse, because that's what it seems to say in the Whole Woman book. I also wouldn't want to wear it all the time anyway, just for long days out. Anyone have any advice on this?

Hi Gracemom

This is how I used to do it with my three babies then toddlers with my 1980's original meh tai, but only once baby had some neck control. Carrying babies on my back saved my sanity, but you do have to be aware that you have live cargo on the back and take up more room. I think these instructions are right, but just give it a first try when baby is happy. Don't try it first time with a grumpy bub.

To get baby onto your back, first lay the meh tai on your big bed about 1/2 metre in from the side with the bottom ties over the side of the bed. Lay baby on his/her back on meh tai with bum just above the bottom edge and bottom ties between baby's legs and out to each side over the top of baby's knees.

Sit on the bed in between your baby's legs, grasp the bottom ties, one in each hand bring them around your hips,laying them btween your legs.

Grasp the top ties, one in each hand and pass one over each shoulder.

Lean back slightly and hold top ties firmly with one hand. Grasp the bottom ties firmly in the other hand and lean forwards, pulling the meh tai and baby firmly onto your back, like a baby chimp.

Wriggle baby into the right spot while leaning well forward, adjust the lengths if necessary then tie all four ties together in one big bow below your breasts, or twist well and tuck them back in (never did feel safe with the twist method). Then away you go.

To get baby out again sit on the bed/sofa/floor/tailgate of wagon or whatever, lean back until bay is almost lying on his/her back, pull on ends of ties to loosen, let sleeping baby down gently with top ties, untangle yourself from bottom ties, and there you are.

I used to find carrying a toddler in the meh tai on my back was a wonderful way to get them to go to sleep. Then I just literally put them down backwards, tuck the ties under the meh tai, pop a blanket over them and walk away. Magic!! Hope this helps. It feels a bit wierd at first, trying to get the lengths adjusted right but gets easier after a few times. If you need to adjust lengths on the hop you can just lean forward, undo the ties, and adjust them then re-tie, but it is safer to do it seated or with a helper. You will soon get very skilled at it and people will gasp in admiration and amazement at your acrobatic baby feats!!!

Hope this helps.

Louise

there are some great instructions here with pictures that show 3 different ways of getting a baby on your back.

http://www.kozycarrier.homestead.com/instructions.html

also if you do a search for "mei tai" on youtube.com there are loads of videos showing how to do various carries

hth Soup

I do have a baby carrier addiction! you have no idea, between my cloth diapers and baby carriers, I spend way too much time and money on the internet.
anyway, if you go to www.thebabywearer.com (warning: a highly addictive site) you can find loads of instructions, written with and without pics as well as links to video

to get my baby (he's also 6 mo, probably close to 20 lb) on my back in the wrap, I start with him on my hip, wrap the middle of the wrap around his back and then 'hip-scoot' him around onto my back using one hand to pull the ends of the fabric and the other hand to support him. then lean over, adjust the tails, bounce, tighten & tie.
there's video's of that on the babywearer site.

this wholewoman posture makes me feel wholesome, strong, elegant and feminine. baby wearing makes me feel like I'm doing the world's most important job, and doing it well. combine the two, and well, I like being me : )
and you need to know that this is coming from a person who grew up without an ounce of self esteem. and I've been suffering on and off with depression my whole life. so its pretty cool to feel that way.