5 weeks postpartum and on a healing journey

Body: 

I'm sure my story is similar to many on this site. But, I wanted to write a note to say hello and also to say that I feel a sense of hope now. I am turning 31 this month. I gave birth to my 4th child 5 weeks ago. After the birth of my 3rd child in 2004, I noticed in early postpartum a bulge... yes, that bulge. I feared prolapse and had my midwife examine me. She brushed it off and said I would heal. A different midwife at my 6 week visit said the same. It actually improved greatly and I forgot all about it. But, now that I think of it, I know that in general everything stayed "lower". I had a very gentle birth and gentle pushing stage with my fourth child 5 weeks ago. I didn't feel a bulge until the 2nd week postpartum. In hindsight, I know I overdid it during that precious healing time. I self-examined and it seems to be a cystocele. I have no urinary symptoms whatsoever. Over the last week, it seems to have improved some. I was furiously doing kegels but am now looking to Christine's approach for healing. I still feel devastated... I want more children but of course fear the worsening of it. I have been going through all the emotions... I have felt disappointed that my midwife did not, for lack of information, give me resources to work with to improve my pelvic health for quality of life and future births. I desperately want to heal and improve. Thank you Christine and the other ladies on this site who are sharing and offering hope to others. No one is talking about this. I have felt extremely alone.

and congrats on your newest little one!
you still have plenty of precious healing time, so ok you overdid it week two, now make it a priority to take care of yourself too. I know its hard (near impossible!) with 4 little ones, but you have to look out for yourself!
I'm happy youre feeling a sense of hope now, there is real reason to remain optimistic. get christine's book (the second edition) if you can, its very encouraging and empowering.
as far as future babies, I had my fourth about 5 mo ago, he's my 'post prolapse baby' and I can tell you that things are no worse right now than they were before I got pg with him. so it can be done.
hang in there, sister! you are soooo not alone {{{hugs}}}