I wish ....

Body: 

.... I was stronger. I am having a bad day again today. It feels like my uterus wants to come out and say hello and it is such an unnerving feeling. I don't even have the courage to check to see if it has dropped further with all this coughing I've been doing as I don't think I could handle it.

I really must buy Christine's complete package so I feel like I am doing something proactive. I've just googled the surgery and found more horror stories but then I am guessing those that have successful outcomes don't write about it.

When will I find this inner strength to deal with this. Walking around with this feeling down there makes me so sad and I am looking at the world very differently these days. I can't find the good in anything and I look forward to nothing.

This is so self pitying but it is where I am at.

A

You wrote: "I've just googled the surgery and found more horror stories but then I am guessing those that have successful outcomes don't write about it."

This is correct and we must guard against being made prejudicial by what is known as "anecdotal" information. The way to get an accurate understanding of the true benefits - or not - of surgery (or anything) is to research studies. Reports in peer reviewed journals of scientifically controlled studies are the only credible source to make any statement about the rate of bad outcomes. When you do that, you will find that surgery for PoP indeed has a pretty high rate of bad outcome. THEN you can read the anecdotal stories to discover all the personal details that those bad outcomes represent. But you cannot infer anything statistical from the stories themselves.

I've just placed my order for the Whole Woman Bundle so I am hoping that it will lift my spirits with inspiration and hope that I can do this!

A

Thanks for throwing that out there ! I too spent time online researching surgery , surgeons and clinics. I accidentally opened a surgical picture and was mildly traumatized by the graphic Destruction I saw. Even if they can put it all back together, scar tissue too ? Yikes. I assumed surgery went in through the belly-button. How could it be so barbaric and invasive ?

I came - with absolute certainty- to the conclusion that it was impossible to get away from bias and marketing. My paranoid mind even pondered how "purchased" affadavits" could be, like they were marketing a product. Ick. This does not make me feel like medicine has it's priorities straight. It's a business and I'm thinking that surgeons have mortgages and wives that compulsively shop, etc. Oooh that was catty.

But I think we make a fundamental error when we assume our doctor has our best interests at heart. In fact I've come across enough to know that many in the medical field become detached emotionally from their patients because it's just too difficult !! And I also see too much dismissal of the risks of medicine . Vaccines for instance. like it is our moral obligation to submit ourselves as Guinea pigs and martyr our children for the furthering of medicine and the perpetuation of the species. BS - I for on am not buying, or is it swallowing ? No - I think it's buying. High pressure spending.

So if I make a full circle and reconsider my options I'll have some hope that I can find some real info.
KIT - my dear - I wanna fold you up and kiss your cheeks.

May you be safe from harm.
May you be happy and peaceful.
May you be strong and healthy.
May you be free from suffering.

Try changing the words you to I.
I hope this Metta helps. And remember the only thing to fear is fear itself.
Do you knit ?
Zelda

From your mouth to God's ears! Thank you for thinking of me. That was so very kind. I will keep your words close to me in the coming days. For some reason, I always feel better after reading your posts. You speak many truths, and I always learn something even if just more about you. You get my curiosity up. And I'm not one to be overly curious about others.

Do I knit? No, I do most everything else, but failed to learn to knit. Want to teach me? I'd love to learn. Hope you're doing better, my friend. Kit

ATS...it may take time, but you will get there. I hope today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today. That in itself would be a great gift.