OT: if I were kit...

Submitted by granolamom on November 18, 2007 - 7:29am
Body: 

if I were kit I'd be writing something deeply moving.

right now I am feeling so blessed with the awesome responsibility and privilege of being alive.
my dds best friend lost her mom yesterday. dd is 8 years old. the mom had a brain tumor removed a year ago and it was pretty much downhill from there. she leaves behind parents, siblings, a dh and four children ages 8 - 20.
this hit me so hard. 8 years old is too young to be without a mom. the 20 year old dd is going to grow up so fast too, she already came home from her first year in college when the mom was diagnosed last year.
I kept asking my dh last night, how can you die when you have an 8 year old???

I keep thinking about all the treatments the mom had been through, how difficult they were, but a mom gives anything to LIVE.
makes my troubles seem very insignificant today.

thanks for indulging me the space for something off topic like this.
I'm going to be holding my family a bit closer today.

Christine

November 18, 2007 - 10:25am

((((Granolamom)))). That’s very tragic. My children have a friend who lost her mother to cancer when she was around 12 years old. We knew her from college days on and it was clear she had paid a huge emotional price for losing her mom so young. Then, a few years ago, she lost her still-young, wonderful, accomplished dad (on my birthday!) to a horrible car accident caused by a drunk driver. With the help of a great extended family and many good friends she has come through, is finishing up a master’s program and having a wonderful time. It’s hard when we’re shaken awake to the impermanence of life - but seems to also have the effect of making life that much more precious. Hope you are having a lovely day with your sweet family. Btw…gmom sent me a picture of her four darlings – ADORABLE!!!!!

kit

November 19, 2007 - 6:49am

Hi Granolamom, I had to be away almost all weekend so I'm just getting to reply to this.

My first thought was that I'm so glad the little girl has your daughter and you and your family to lean on right now. You will be such a comfort and a place of normalcy for her. Her home life will be so different. Your home can supply some respite of sameness for her, if just for moments at a time.

I grew up without a mother from my seventh birthday on and I don't think there was a day while growing up that I didn't feel different from others. It will be so hard on the children, there is no getting around that.

I used to try to understand life, but there is no understanding it. It just is. I feel, like you, that the issues that I’m dealing with feel quite small in comparison. They are miniscule in comparison, really, and that reality illuminates the enormity of this family’s loss. And I, too, will wrap my arms around my loved ones a bit closer (if that is possible). If there is anything good that can come out of darkness such as this, it has to be that it can bring the living closer together. It brings the preciousness of life into focus.

When you hug this little one, and I know you will, please give her a silent one from me also. Thank you for being there in all the ways you will find to help, and in all the ways you will show them love.

The husband will need support, as well. What a job he has now. But I'm sure in caring for his wife, he has found strength inside himself that he didn't know he had. I sure hope he has. He will need it. Hopefully, after the initial terrible hurt from this, he will turn his attention and focus and energy into being the hero father he will need to be. I don't know where I would be today if my dad would not have been there. Love, Kit