ATS

Body: 

how you doing?

Thank you for thinking of me. Still annoyed and haven't really spoken to H this morning. Sometimes its all too much to deal with. I am still trying to come to terms with what is happening to my body (don't know if that will ever happen) and then dealing with a moody husband whose only happy when I am doing everything and giving him his "me time" is exhausted and frustrating.

I feel like I am just whinging all the time because before POP I would have just got on with it, had a moan every now and then, and then got back to getting on with it. I feel so much weaker because of this.

Everybody around me is talking about booking holidays for the spring/summer and keeping busy busy busy and I can't imagine where I will be then with regards to comfort. Things are slowly getting worse and I don't know how much more I can put up with. I don't want to think about holidays and being on my feet all day every day putting a hugh smile on my face to please everyone. H wants to go back to EuroDisney and its a very long drive there (5-6 hours) and then l-o-n-g days on our feet. I can't imagine going on the rides which will just jiggle and jolt everything around and I get so angry that this has been taken away from me. We've been a couple of times before and had so much fun but now it will be overshadowed by this damn POP.

Feeling unsure about everything at the moment.

Bet you wished you hadn't asked now!

I hope you are doing o.k.

Anita

i actually turned down a holiday and told him to go on his own, he will be next month, i dreaded the thought of walking around for hours, in holland, and we would have been with his brother and i would not be able to relax {or moan if i want!} and went to funderland a few weeks ago, and got on one thing and knew i couldnt get on anyting else, i told him to and i just stood at all the rides looking up forcing a smile, and we had got a sitter for it, i told him i should have stayed at home, it knows just how to get to us, doesnt it!!

... that this ruins things like holidays for us. I know we shouldn't let it and not let it take over like that but I for one can't help it. If we do go to EuroDisney for the kids then I will be the one standing on the side lines with smile fixed on face!

I just don't know how to get round these things. I have never been a sit on the beach type gal and always loved holidays where there was lots to do especially when you have little ones to entertain.

To New York City back in September. I was definitely nervous about doing it, brought my bottom balms, etc. We borrowed a portable dvd player and got tons of dvds to keep our dc entertained. I will tell you, that it was probably THE most relaxing time ever!!!!! I loved the drive there more than actually being there(lol!!). Dh had to go for work (as usual) and I was getting sick of always being stuck home when he goes. So I said what the heck?!! I think driving through the Lincoln Tunnel and actually into Manhattan was the most stressed I've been in so long, but it felt amazing. I didn't even think much about the POP due to the crazyness there and making sure I didn't lose my kids.

Maybe try something a little easier than Disney.