core strength, ramblings...

I've been thinking of all of you, especially those with difficult men for husbands.
then my mind wandered to the question of exercise with POP and the invariable 'how can I strengthen my core without stressing the prolapse'

I think we DO need core strength to live well with prolapse, only I don't mean abs and paraspinals. prolapse affects us at our core....who we are. it doesn't change us, but if we take responsibility for it instead of handing it over to a surgeon, we need to be strong. strong enough to withstand being shaken at our very centers. much of what we believed to be true up until this point, about posture, exercise, our own strength and stability, our independance and importance to others has been turned upside down. we are forced to reconcile with a new circumstance and somehow find a way to function in this new reality. and somehow we have to do that while maintaining the hearth and home, oftentimes without understanding (or helpful) partners. this is truly a journey, and its one we must go alone. we can listen to one another here, and relate our similarities, but the reality is that no one can do the emotional work for me. not even my husband.

prolapse makes you feel week, suddenly you can't lift things, can't move heavy furniture, can't have wild sex without thinking 'is this gonna be ok' or 'am I still attractive', suddenly you feel needy and pathetic, at least I did.

I've been living with this long enough to know that learning to live with prolapse makes you strong. Its easy to do things yourself, to rely on no one. It takes a big person, a confident person, someone emotionally strong and stable, to say, I need help. I need others. No, I can't do that today. It takes a strong person to greet the morning with a smile, in the face of loss (and yes, prolapse is a HUGE loss). There is no rushing this process along, it comes only at the end of the grieving process. but that is how I define core strength.

I'll stop rambling now......