The blessings of our diversity

Christine,
Please, please don't feel sad! Without you and your words for me, I have no idea how I would have made it through the past three and a half years. Sure, I've had my own ups and downs, but I have always come back here. I feel safe and protected, I have not found anyone in person to understand how I have felt. I too, being so young getting this, need as much hope and faith as I can take. I love coming here and being able to talk to women all over the world and know that I am not alone. I guess here at my old lady age of 32, it's getting somehow easier to accept it. I just feel more at peace to accept it than to fight it. It's me right, no matter what.

Thank you in so many ways for your kindness and strength!

Candice

Christine, it is late or I would say more...but know that Anita is strong and sensible in addition to being sensitive and loving. She will not make a hasty decision, she is too smart for that. Sometimes we need to pull back to clearly see. I had to do it for other reasons than Anita but it did me a world of good. I'm sure it will do Anita a lot of good, as well. It is easy to get forum overload when you have a sensitive nature. Anita knows she's loved here. She knows she's welcome. She knows where to come if she needs help. You've done a beautiful thing here with this site. Rest in that. This is not a failure and neither you nor Anita will benefit from thinking that way. Forgive me if this sounds unkind in any way. My intention is the opposite. Get some rest, Christine. Even super-woman needs rest. love, Kit

You have given so many of us hope and the power to take control of our own bodies
and in a way our own destinies.
I have much more confidence in myself and my body than I had four or more years ago
when I first found this website.
I have marveled lately how this forum has matured and grown since I first came here.
At that time it seemed like everyone was hesitant about asking questions. Now most
questions are answered and empathy and sympathy abound.
Our destinies are in our own hands and we must make the decisions that affect
them.
You, dear Christine, have helped us to realize that we have this power so take
credit for what you are accomplishing and rest easy.
Regards and thank you for all you do for us.
Flora

Christine:
As I've said to you before, you saved my life, as I Know that I would have taken a surgical route if it hadn't been for reading your book and then finding this forum. We are all different people, and no one can ever walk in someone elses shoes. I also recently was away from the forum for awhile. Personal and emotional reasons prevented me from participating. I felt guilty since I gave no explanation to anyone, and for that I apologize. I hope I am forgiven. I am slowly finding my way back.

I too have learned so much from everyone here, and hope in some way to give back whenever I can. Thank you again for everything that you have done. I wish Anita only the best, and pray that she finds a peaceful place for herself.

Love, Goldfinch

Christine,

Honestly your site has helped me in so many ways. Coming through the last bit of menopause was a nightmare, and your kindness and acceptance helped me put the pieces back to my life and come out on a high side as no other thing in my life.

I think there are many many differences among us - and thank God - where would we be if we were all alike? It would be a miserable boring existence. Life is not unlike a good school. There are older people "who have done that been there," and then there are the young creative people who see life differently and can offer so much creativity and new purpose to things. The gentle mix is just delightful, useful and essential to the kids.

The one big thing that was so troubling me about menopause was the "being kicked out of the reproductive club." No, I didn't want another child; I just didn't want to be a biddy, and there are no other choices. My body was shutting down, failing; it was throwing in the sponge on life and left me on the shores of biddydom, and along with that kick in the head, I lost my comfort zone with a biddy thing like prolapse!

Joining your site made me realize that prolapse can strike us at any age, and as I have said before, my heart bleeds for those young women, because what we are all looking for is strength and stamina, and this thing takes that away for a long long time.

I think the thing we are all experiencing with prolapse is that sense of vulnerability we may never have experienced before. The goddess idea that we are invincible and have all the time in the world is a very Western notion that comes with being well fed and warm with a few bucks in our classy jeans. But strip that down, take away just one of those things - forever - and it all tumbles down like a house of cards.

For me, prolapse was my first real "foot in the grave" thing, and unluckily for me it came during menopause when I had nothing with which to fight it.

And that's what it is - it's a reality that we won't be goddesses forever. We will eventually succumb to nature's return to the earth and die. That's what's so frightening and alarming about this. So the surgery angle is a last ditch effort to try to regain what we once had. Instead of being reliant on self because self has failed and failed and failed, we reach out to those who say they can help us.

With almost anything else, we can justify or rationalize that it's just temporary or even if it's not, it's not really going to effect us... but this thing is a constant reminder of our frailty and vulnerability, and it just eats away at you.

"Getting used to it" means getting desensitized to the feeling and putting it out of your mind. But that takes a lot of time, determination, will power and such a positive thinking pattern, that one little thing will let that house of cards fall as well.

When you think of all the stress in some of our lives, it's really hard to plow through the stress dragging prolapse with us. For some of us, it's too much to ask.

That's why your site, Christine, your constant help, your constant "Ollie Ollie oxen free" is such a safe place to be. It's like getting the warm, the food, the classy jeans and the few bucks all over again and being able to face the world again as a whole woman.

Love and respect,

Judy the happy biddy

Last night I spoke for Anita because I just don’t believe that she sees any failure here. And the last thing she would want to do is cause pain to anyone. And I cannot help myself but to sit with and speak for the hurting.

Some offer directions to the road---some give you gas for your tank---some ride along to make sure you don’t get lost and to offer you companionship---some push you when you break down---some sit with you while you wait for the tow truck---and all join to help you get going again. And on this road to health and hope, all of this is here at Whole Woman.

This morning I’m back to speak for myself and I echo the wise women here, Candice, Flora, Goldfinch, and Judy the happy biddy (smile). There is great and rich diversity even in these few. They have strengths I can never aspire to. But here, in this special place, I benefit from that strength freely because they give it so freely.

Christine, I know you are hurting, too. You carry a great weight for us all. You know how I feel about you, how I respect you, how I am eternally grateful to you, how I care for you. I have told you privately in email and publicly on this forum. All of my family and friends know, as well. I will take out a public billboard if need be to make it clear how indebted I am to you. You gave me direction to my own road of health, and you did it in a way that only made me stronger and more sure. I was lost when I came here. I do not want to consider the difference in my life had I not found you. Our first President Bush talked about the ‘points of light’ among us. You are one to me, and always will be.

In the end, we do what we can, then, we have to let go and have faith that we did just that. I don’t know anyone who’s worked harder for women’s health than you have. Anita would stand right with me and say that, as well.

I’m sure she’ll be along soon to do just that.

I was supposed to be somewhere else this morning. I stayed back to write this. It amazes me how protective I am of this place. Even in my absence I held it close. I often relate it to family. And it is that to me. Not in the sense of our immediate cherished families, but in this greater-global-we’re-all-on-this-earth-together loveliness that I feel here. You did this Christine--only you. I will hush now.

In all things that speak of love and gratitude—I thank you Christine for lighting the way. Kit

And there is this calm understanding voice in my head, way stronger than the one worrying about her outcome with the surgery. ( The
voice of my deep-seated conviction that great surgery is an oxymoron). This new voice is so clear and wisely accepting of what she is
teaching us. And we all of course still love her and would never want to cross her by judging. And I'm not judging her. I have long held respect
for individuality , how could I even begin to presume to know how it feels to be her ? We more than any know the discomfort levels were
constant and high. She persevered and threw considerable energy towards welcoming and encouraging others. She taught me that , and
it helped me shift off the pity pot. When I focused out on others with love and the desire to help, I felt so much better. Thanks Anita.

Christine I admire you, and see the burden of being a leader on some of your posts, you are sometimes in the cross-hairs of displaced anger and suspicion.
I really liked this letter of feelings about Anita, it made you seem more human than exalted. I am with you on the utter "Russian roulette" we see the surgery
route. Only with surgery five chambers are full and only one empty ! Icky odds. Ones we can't help but worry over with our sister. We all have worried some
over her in our day to day thoughts. We live in each other's heads and hearts. No one can wrap words around the magnitude of what you have created here.
We cultivate each other like a wonderous rose garden. YOU started this going, and all the levels of maturity, wisdom and commitment to participate we bring
here has started to perfume our world. Such blessings.

I jumped with both feet into this forum. Ranted and raved, tried not to step on anyone in any way... but mostly ate up all the granola (teehee) and wisdom I could find. Like a
big trampoline I can jump higher and higher ! We have that resiliance as Women, I learned to recognize that And adopt it, between the lines of our posts. You have all helped
me find my big girl panties, put them on, AND get dressed for success in this amazing life I have. Un believable how fast I've gone from selfish and immature to biddydom...

I bow my head, hands together in respect, awe, gratitude, love and affection for all of you and what you all bring by being here.
Zelda

Christine, that must have been a really tough thing to do to put those feelings out there. I am so thankful that you are able to trust us and that you came here to find support. That is the very thing we all here get from you.
I hope you feel better and better as you read these responses. I am ever greatful that I found this forum when I did and read your book when I did. My life has changed. CHANGED.
So even if one day (ya right like never) I decide to have surgery I will still be indebted to you for the support and wisdom from women like Flora (who gives me an education everytime she posts) or Louise (who's posts have assured me that I will probably still be having good sex in my 50s) or Granolamom (who first suggested to me that I could actually slow down and let my housework go a little) and Christine (I rely on your honesty- and you never let me down) and all you women who have taught me so much about friendships and loving and inlaws and food and living.
You can not be a part of this forum and walk away unchanged.