just wanted to introduce myself

Submitted by andresmom on March 16, 2008 - 4:46am
Body: 

Hello,
I am hoping to find support here as well as be able to get a lot of questions answered. I am so happy to have found this site. I feel it will be a lifeline for a while, til I can come to terms with this new issue of mine: vaginal prolapse.
I am 32 years old and my history is as follows: My husband and I have been together for 6 years. Roughly 2 years ago we decided we were ready to start our family, as we both had our careers, were buying a house and had enough of being self centered. We were very fortunate and got pregnant on our 1st month of trying. I had a perfectly uneventful 9 months, and then one day after our baby's due date, I hadn't felt him move the night before so we went into the hospital just to make sure everything was fine. Instead we found out that our baby had died in utero; that there was no heartbeat. I had to deliver him vaginally, knowing he was dead. I haven't exactly had an easy life so far, but this was by far the worst thing I had ever gone through or could even imagine having to go through. Somehow we made it throught that time, and continued to focus on hope and on life. I think the only thing that kept me going was the hope of still being able to have our little family, and have other babies. We started trying to get pregnant again as soon as possible, and this time it took 7 months to get pregnant, but nonetheless, we realized how blessed we were to be given another baby. This time the pregnancy was not so uneventful, unfortunately. I bled off and on for 2 months of the pregnancy, not knowing each time if this was the end. Then miraculously I had no more bleeding from month 5 to month 9. Then when I hit about 36 weeks, I started gushing bright red blood. I went to the hospital where they observed me for 24 hours, luckily the baby and I were both fine, but then after 24 hours, they wanted to send me home. I flipped out afte what I'd already been through. I had come so close to finally getting our living baby, I was not going to take any chances now on losing another baby. I told them I was not leaving without my baby. So after putting up quite a fight, they allowed me to stay for a week, and then deliver at 37 weeks. Our beautiful, perfect baby boy was born alive, screaming and kicking, and is laying in my lap as I type this. (This was just 1 month ago; he is 1 month old).

I thought I had been through the ringer enough already after all of that. I am thrilled beyond belief to have our living, breathing, beautiful, perfect baby. I feel like the luckiest woman on earth, which is why it's hard for me to even complain about anything, and I was hoping I wouldn't have anything to complain about. I mean, after losing a baby, we don't even really complain over the sleepless nights or constant diaper changes or anything; we are so happy to be lucky enough to get those things in our lives. But anyhow, as if I hadn't been dealt enough for now at least, I just realized a couple days ago that I almost certainly have a cystocele, rectocele and prolapesd urethra. I've noticed since the delivery that my vagina did not look at all familiar, that the opening was stuck at like 4 times the length it was before and that there were these 2 big golf ball looking bulges filling up the opening. I looked and looked online to try to find out if this was normal after delivery, even though I know this didn't happen last time I delivered which was just a little over a year ago. And unfortunately what I found was a lot of other women with the same question, who all reached the same conclusion, that they had prolapsed vaginas. So chances are, that is my fate as well. Perhaps by some miracle, this is all just from the recent delivery and it will all go back to normal, but I think that is quite doubtful as I have yet to come across even one story of a woman having this condition and then having it resolve itself. It always seems to be prolapse, an unfortunately permanent condition.

This was just 2 days ago that I did the research enough to realize that this is what I more than likely have, so I am still trying to come to terms with it, and having quite a rough time, but at this point my main concern, is getting my questions about it answered, which I have not been able to do from the info online.

I am hoping that some of you can help me with information. My questions are as follows:

1.) If you start out with a prolapse that only reaches the opening of the vagina, can it progress outside of the vagina or does it usually stay within the vagina?
2.) Does constipation make cystoceles worse or just rectoceles?
3.) Pretty much the only kind of exercise I enjoy is long walks (like 5 miles a day) Do long walks make prolapes worse?
4.) If I only have the cystocele, rectocele and prolapsed urethra, is there any chance that I will get a prolaped uterus too before my next pregnancy, or could that only happen with another pregnancy?
5.) How bad is sex (how painful) with my condition? We haven't had sex yet. We really want to be able to have more children and realize this will be a challenge if sex is super uncomfortable for me now.
6.) Does the vaginal opening stay so elongated with this condition or does it ever get smaller on it's own?
7.) What do you guys do to avoid constipation? I tried a metamucil type fiber thing for a couple days, and it did absoluely nothing. My stool since trying that has been super hard and painful with constipation and a good amount of bleeding (I've been constipated since our baby's birth) so I am switching to a pear or two a day plus one cup of prune juice. We'll see if that helps.
8.) How frequent/bad are the UTI's that accompany prolapsed urethra? I so badly do not want to have to be on antibiotics constantly for breast feeding or for my next pregnancies. Have you all found anything that has helped prevent them? Is there any kind of corrective surgery or treatment for the urethra that one can get before they are done having children. I may be unpopular for this, but I think that once I am done having kids, I probably will have these problems surgically corrected, but I still have nearly 10 more child bearing years ahead of me where I will have to figure out a way to live with this condition.

I'm sure I'll come up w/ many more questions, but that's it for now. Thanks in advance. Any help I can get is much appreciated. Things have been really rough lately. I already suffer from depression and anxiety, and ever since losing our first baby, I have suffered pretty badly from PTSD, and now I've been having to contend with pretty severe post partum depression, and now this on top of all of that. Oh, I guess I should also mention how hard of a time we are having right now in this economy, hoping we can hold on to our house, and just more stressed than we've ever been financially. So this is really really rough right now, and I am having an extremely hard time with coming to terms with all of this. Please please help

louiseds

March 16, 2008 - 9:11am

Hi Andresmom

It's late at night here in Australia, so I just want to say welcome to the Forums. I think you will be around for a while, as we have answers from experienced moms to most of your questions. Congratulations on the successful birth of your baby. I am so glad you stuck up for yourself and stayed in hospital. That's gutsy stuff.

First thing is to have a look at the FAQ's on the homepage, and assess your posture, your diet, your clothing and your lifestyle.

Second thing to do is to use the Search box at left to look for posts that women have already done on these subjects. The search results will be the topics that contain the posts you are looking for. Open each topic, then use your browser 'Find on this page' function to search the string for the posts with the text string you are looking for. This is the quickest way I have found to strike paydirt. At this rate you will be reading for about three weeks solid as there are literally hundreds, possibly thousands of posts on all sorts of related subjects. Happy reading. I will leave others to answer some of your specific questions, then get back to you in a day or so to see if there are any outstanding queries.

Cheers

Louise

ps, just keep lovin' that baby and that man of yours. Hopefully, all will be well in time.

Zelda

March 16, 2008 - 10:36am

What a very sad story - and a happy one too ! I'm off to work and will come back to your post.
I do think you have Great potential to heal, and though you have to make some
adjustments in how you use your body, I believe the body has tremendous healing
abilities especially post-partum. You believe it too, it's half the battle.
I'll come back, your letter has so much to think about.
I'm so glad you found us !
Zelda

granolamom

March 16, 2008 - 1:42pm

I cannot begin to imagine what you've been through. You sound like very smart, grounded and strong woman though, no doubt those qualities will continue to serve you well.
I think you are right, it does sound like you've got a prolapse, and I'll try to answer some of your questions:

1. the course of prolapse is different for everyone. a prolapse *can* progress to the outside, it can stay inside, it can even get higher up.

2. ime, constipation makes a cystocele worse too. its all connected. lots of fecal matter in the bowel takes up space and that can press on your bladder, prolapsed or not.

3. long walks do not necessarily make prolapse worse. walking is pretty much the only exercise I do, and as long as I am mindful of my posture, walking actually improves things for me

4. again, the chances of developing a uterine prolase at this point differs from woman to woman. I'm pretty sure I developed one (I started out with a cystocele, then developed a rectocele) but I don't care at this point to find out for sure. everything is all connected so anything is possible I guess.

5. ime, sex is wonderful. no pain. and actually is beneficial, kinda pushes everything back in place for a bit.

6. elongated vaginal opening might be related to the birthing of babies, my guess is that it won't be changing any time soon. but maybe someone else has had a different experience????

7. I've never been prone to serious constipation, but I've done a major diet overhaul. too much to type in right now. try a search here, type 'constipation' and you will pull up loads of advice

8. I've had only one UTI and I'm not sure it was even related to the prolapse. but you should make sure to completely empty your bladder at least once a day. typically, when the bladder is prolapsed, it is difficult to completely empty it. try urinating on your hands and knees, this tips the bladder into a better positon so you can get all the urine out. urine left in the bladder can lead to a uti

right now you are only 1 mo pp. this is waaaaaay to soon to predict what your pelvic organs will be doing a year from now. so much healing takes place that first year pp, you may be very pleasantly surprised. I'm not saying that everything will be what it was, but that there is reason to remain hopeful.

ah my kids are calling, but get the book, read up on the faqs here, stick around and ask any questions you have.

and be good to yourself, PPD can be a b*tch

alemama

March 16, 2008 - 8:13pm

but I won't- just a few. Sex is good for my prolapse (just yesterday I helped my dh move a couch and I gave him a look that said ack my prolapse and he told me not to worry he was gonna give me some physical therapy later).

the opening will get much smaller- 1 month pp is a scary time to look at a vagina-prolapse or no

and I want to address something you said (or seemed to say anyway)- you just had 2 babies-recently. Nothing is ever going to be the same- not your breasts- not your vagina- nothing. Meditate about that change. In a way it is like mourning the death of the old you. Letting go of the idea that I would just go back to being the same old body really helped me let go of many ideas I had that in retrospect were just plain old silly.

You will be able to have more babies if you want them.

I have had a cystocele go away completely and I have a rectocele that hangs around (hehe) and my uterus has been pretty low- but now 17 months post partum is super high.

Woman- your story has touched my heart. What a trial. Blessings to you.

zoeUK

March 17, 2008 - 7:39am

Hello and welcome,

I don't post here very often, but often pop by to see how the ladies are doing...I found this site at around the same time pp as you and I my son is now 9 months old. Things HAVE improved without me doing kegels or even paying much attention to posture. I frequently pick up my heavy 3yr old (in the wrong posture often as a struggling 3yr old in Tesco's doesnt make for time to get myself stood right!) and I'm really doing o.k. My point is if I've improved and (lazily) done not much to help myself then you WILL improve lots I'm sure.
Sex is the same as before but of course 3 weeks is very early for all your tissues to recover from the birth especially if you had any tears or cuts so give yourself time.

Walking helps if you stand up straight with your boobs and bum proudly out!!

Anyway just wanted to say that you are an inspiration! I'm sure your beautiful baby will continue to give you the strength to cope with the prolapses and live a full and happy life.

P.S. from what I've read here there is no reason not to hope to extend your family either.

Take care!
Zoe x

jb

March 17, 2008 - 2:15pm

Hi,
I am somewhat like you, as far as the pp problems. Your story broke my heart, but I am so happy to read the happy ending. As far as prolapse: I am 34, I am now 12 weeks pp (my first baby), and I discovered my cystocele around 6 weeks (I think it was the reslt of running too soon). Anyway, REST REST REST and things will improve greatly. Some days I wake up and think "Wow, I feel normal down there!" Other days I feel pretty good, but get 'draggy' feeling later on in the evening. However, things are getting better, I'm sure of it. I have also stopped looking. I wear a pad everyday, so my jeans won't chafe me.

My ob/gyn says it is very common, most women are unaware of it, it tightens back up in nearly all of his patients, but it may take 6 months to a year to get things feeling normal again. However, as you know, some women are not that lucky. He said that it will not get worse, unless I start to bear down all the time or develop a chronic cough. Posture and Kegels seem to help. Weight loss and regaining abdominal strength should help as well. I have 30 pounds to go, and I just know I'll feel stronger down there as the rest of my body gets stronger. Another thing that may help eventually is when you wean your baby, your estrogen levels will come back up, and your vaginal walls will tighten. At least that's what I've been told. Gosh, I hope these tidbits turn out to be true (for me AND you).

Lastly, you are way to early to decide if things are okay or not. I don't think anyone should look down there until afte the doctor does at the 6 week check up! So, get back in bed. Do your kegels (while laying down if possible). Eat fiber. Drink water. Then, don't give it another thought.

I bet 6 months from now, this will be a distant memory!

alemama

March 17, 2008 - 7:08pm

Are you addicted to your bluejeans? I have been wearing the cutest skirts and am lovin it-and I wear thongs which are really nice and supportive.....

and your estrogen levels have returned to normal if you get your monthly cycle back- so for most women that happens before they wean from breastfeeding- so ya. The thing is if you look at posts around here women get more symptomatic during their periods so it is a double edged sword. You get the extra plump up and healing ability from estrogen but you also may get more heaviness or dragging around that time of the month.

granolamom

March 17, 2008 - 8:12pm

huh. wouldn't have thought of that.
I learn something new here every day.
and alemama, when I picture you in my mind you ARE wearing a cute skirt.
dang, we should've met up when I was in miami.......