mother in law

I really cannot speculate what is going on with your MIL, but I can share what has led me to not use one arm normally much of the time--maybe it could shed some light on what to check for... I also appear (and FEEL!) "stiff" much of the time because the problems in my c-spine (neck) prevent me from being able to turn my head--and so I have to turn my whole upper body.

I have advanced DDD (disk disease) in my spine---it's severe in my cervical spine (disks one through seven) along with degenerative osteoarthritis in the AC joint (acromioclavicular joint---where your collar bone is attached to the shoulder blade.) These conditions, along with a lifetime of heavy lifting (hauling four babies around, bringing groceries home on the bus--with stroller and kids, etc.) and every job I've ever had involved heavy manual labor. From years and years of 'adapting' and trying to live with the pain I developed permanent nerve damage in the brachial plexus and c-spine.

As a result, I can use my arm only if I use it from the elbow---holding the top/shoulder part close to my body. I taught myself to do many things left-handed. In order to drive I must have the seat SO close to the steering wheel so I don't have to 'reach' for anything. When I'm home I do things I wouldn't normally do if I'm away from home and know I have to drive myself back. I have trouble doing things like washing my hair in the shower, getting dressed and undressed (lifting my arms above my head is nearly impossible and excruciatingly painful.) I can type for limited periods (mouse is with left hand) and must take many 'breaks' during the day, as I cannot do anything 'continuously.'

The dx was fast and easy---x-rays showed the OA, MRI confirmed the disk disease, EMG studies confirmed the extent of the nerve damage and an arterial doppler study showed arterial compression and explained why I have numbness and problems with circulation and causes some pretty bad migraine headaches over the years. Any doctor can order the x-ray and MRI. I saw a neuro-surgeon for the EMG nerve conduction studies and a vascular surgeon for the arterial doppler test. I've also been dx'd with all three forms of TOS (thoracic outlet syndrome---there is venous, arterial and neurogenic TOS and I have them all. This is not a disease---but more of a symptom/result of the effects of all the other conditions over many, many years. Many folks who have TOS (minus the other degenerative stuff and nerve damamge) can go to PT for awhile and get rid of the pain.)

I also try to take the natural approach. I take glucosamine/chondriotin supplements every day (along with a LOT of others!) and see an osteopathic physician (D.O.) weekly for OMT (osteopathic manipulation treatment) which helps tremendously with the pain, correct posture and frees me from being "railroaded" into surgeries and procedures with dismal odds of recovery/improvement. (I don't consider a 40% failure rate very good odds!!) I do need to use pain medication---but combined with the OMT and exercises I do at home every day--I was able to 'reinvent' myself and make a semi-normal life. I tried PT, but it only aggravated the underlying causes of my pain---that's when I found the doctor who practices OMT. I still do some of the PT exercises every day at home to help with range of motion and stretching/flexibility.

Sorry to make such a long post---perhaps your MIL has some of this going on with her neck and/or spine causing her pain and not wanting to use her arm. Afterall, she is twenty one years older than I and osteoarthritis and disk disease could certainly be a factor for her.

I wish her luck in getting to the bottom of the problem...

Peace,
S&G

That's just great Granolamom, that you will put yourself in that difficult spot of being "the only one"! You have nothing to lose, and your MIL has a lot to gain. This is really what love is about, it is a doing thing, not a feeling thing, and the doing often creates pain in the lover before it benefits the lovee. But it costs zero to do this for her.

The other thing is that as I watch my Mum ageing, I can see her going back through her life. She is now back in a dependent childhood phase, where she has lost some of her adult thinking skills, and needs a walking frame to get around. Most of her decisions are being made for her, mostly because she can no longer think through complicated processes. She now lives for today. I see others in her nursing home who can no longer get their brains to make their legs walk, even though they can stand. Eventually they can no longer stand, or no longer sit.

Eventually my grandmother spent her final weeks curled up in her bed in the foetal position, before being "unborn" just short of her 104th birthday, and going back inside her mother, Earth. Maybe your MIL really does need some help to get herself through the process of finding out about this arm of hers.

Louise

Hi Granolamom,

I hope the tests come out ok and it's nothing serious.

Love and hugs,
Grandma Joy

Is your mil fairly active or more sedentery? If she doesn't have
anything seriously wrong it could just be old age creeping on
I know if I don't move around a lot I will stiffen up.
I take glucosamine and condroitin and also celadrin.
Celadrin helps to reduce inflammation and pain with no side affects.
It is a mixture of fatty acids that have been stabilized. You can get all
these products in a health food store. They help me a lot.
I also try to excersize as often as I can. I do a lot of stretching
even on the days I don't excercize to help keep my joints from stiffening up.

Regards
Flora

Granolamom,
So sorry about your mil. Will hope for the best
nd pray for her.
Flora

Gmom,

I read an article recently that spoke of water on the brain that caused many older people to act as if they had had a stroke. When the water was removed by shunting, ALL the symptoms disappeared. Interesting. Blessings, and prayers,

Judy

Gmom I’m so sorry to hear about your mama-in-law. I have a few thoughts to share, but am pretty exhausted right now. Prayers to mil and hugs til later - Christine

Good on ya Gmom

Hard stuff, I know, but it sounds like at last you have been able to get her to engage with these difficulties. And it is always better done sooner or later. She may have just needed somebody to 'hold her hand' while she overcame her fear of the unknown.

How hard is it to hold somebody's hand while they deal with difficulties? Not very, for a woman like you.

Hope the investigations prove fruitful, and that she can look forward to getting on with her life, at least knowing what is happening to her body.

You are both doing something very positive. Hugs to both of you.

Love

Louise

G’mom, Your mil is so fortunate to have you. And you are so good to care for her in such a way. The grace is--I’m sure it’s just you being you. You are being the warmth she needs. That warmth spreads through all who read here. I know it does me. We are going through some troubling times with my husband’s gm. She is 94 and we love her dearly. It is so hard to see her continued decline. She keeps getting cuter each year and her smile is incredible. She is being cared for in the home of my mil and fil. They are both 80. My husband’s grandmother gave birth to his father at the age of 14. She married at 13. She was so alive with incredible stories and now she can’t hear enough to engage in but the simplest conversation. The basic wants and needs. Perhaps as you draw even closer to your mil during her troubles you will also gain deeper access to more of her and to more of her life story. Your family sounds like one of incredible and beautiful depth and history. I’m sure you could never reach the end of what she would have to share, as I know there are surely many of my husband’s gm’s stories left untold. I wish I could offer some insight toward your mil’s health troubles. I cannot. I’m so very sorry there. Thinking of you today. Kit

I will keep your mil and family in my prayers...

God Bless,
S&G

Must be that pt in you to notice things her other family didn't. You husband is a man well blessed to have you care so much about his mother. So sorry for her troubles. Thinking of you both.

((((Hugs))))

Another big adjustment in your lives. Another big lump of grief and all its manifestations to deal with. Well, at least you know what you are all dealing with now. Some would probably rather not know, but that's life.

Don't be too hard on yourselves. I hope the big visit goes OK. I'm sure that MIL will feel very loved while she is staying. When a person is ill, feeling loved seems to be all that gives them pleasure. You are right. None of us knows what will be tomorrow.

Best wishes to all of you.

Louise

MIL is blessed to have such beautiful, caring children...all will be well...I have no doubt comfort and love will be hers in the end.xxxxxxoooooooo

Granolamom,
I'm so sorry that your MIL has Parkinsons and dementia, both are such horrible
diseases by them selves but to have both. My heart goes out to her and her family.
When my husband got dementia we all thought it was just "old age," creeping on.
We made all kinds of excuses and were in denial until we couldn't deny it any
longer.
The only advice I can give is to tell her how much you love her and remember all the good times you've had together.
Read all you can on the internet because symptoms are not the same for everyone.
Also, give the caregiver as much help and free time as you can because it is very hard
and heartbreaking for them too.
They are making great strides into finding some of the causes and new treatments for both diseases but unfortunately haven't found a cure yet. Hopefully they will soon.
Regards, Flora
((((HUGS))))

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Gmom. (((HUGS)))

~♥Blue

My grandfather had that. If you all can afford it try to find a caregiver. My grandmother hired a CNA (certified nursing assistant) who eventually lived with my grandparents. He did all the heavy lifting and chores around the house as well as take my grandfather anywhere he wanted to go. It took the physical work away from my grandmother and she was glad for that.

GMom,

My FIL had Parkinson's and lived very happily for about 20 years. He had a lot of difficulty talking, but he got around well until he was about 83. He died peacefully at 85.

Prayers for you family,

Judy

I'm sorry to hear about your mother-in-law, Gmom. I will say a prayer for her, and for you and your family.

Love, Goldfinch

It is all so very sad, but she is so very lucky to have you and your love! I loved my MIL to pieces, having lost my own mom when I was only 29! Hang in there, with love and respect for your MIL and I am sure you will be very glad you did!

Hugs and lots of love,

Mae

Granolamom, you were the one whose eyes were open to the changes in your mil. You can trust that your heart and your inner knowing will also be very open to what she needs from you now. You will know how to keep her safe, how to make sure she feels loved, how to ease her fears as she journeys through this. You have great emotional strength and goodness. You have wisdom beyond your years. She will be in the best of hands when with you.

I’m so sorry this has come upon your family. Kit

I have been reading alot about misdiagnosis for Dementia and Alzheimers and Parkinsons and it is very interesting to learn how these diseases improve significantly when various parts of the functioning body are addressed.
The MIND- more sunshine, vitamin D3, Fatty Acids, coconut oil, fish oil, (the brain is made of cholesterol)
The immune system- infections that are in the body can not be resolved with a weak immune system
The digestion - there are more brain cells in the stomach than there are in the brain.. fix the digestion, have bowel movements EVERY DAY, and the brain works better
The heart - move the body for 30 minutes each day so the blood pumps through heart and brain and builds more brain cells
The excretory system - URINARY TRACT INFECTIONS cause NO pain in the elderly but cause symptoms that appear like Dementia, Alzheimer's and Parkinson's and other cognitive mental issues... Get rid of the UTI using cranberry tablets and the symptoms will miraculously be reduced if they are caused by a UTI....
This happened to my Mom .... and I am trying to make a determination by checking her Urine every other day and giving her more nutritional supplements and walking more and I see a definite fluctuation in her mood and behavior depending on the amount of sleep she gets or what she eats or how much movement her body gets daily and how much stimulation she gets for her mind.