Newbi looking for help / advice

Hi there. I am new to this, but am hoping someone will be able to help me.

I have had two children. The first was born by emergency section four years ago. He weighed 10 lb 6 oz. I was deeply traumatised by my section and planned (and achieved) a HBAC. My second son was born at home weighin 9lb 9.5 oz. I had an 8 hour labour, a 1 hr45 minute second stage. He was born with teh cord around his neck and was born through the cord. I had a very long cord, though so I don't think this caused my second stage to be any longer than it would have been if it hadn't been around his neck. I had a physiological third stage so my placenta was born with no drugs or traction.

Upon checking immediately after the birth of my son my cervix was visible outside my vagina dn teh midwife pushed it back in. They seemed very unconcerned by this and I was told to make sure I did my pelvic floor exercises. When I first stood up after the birth (about 4 hours afterwards) my bladder immediately emptied where I was stood and I was totally unable to stop it. I put this down to having just given birth. Over the next few days / weeks my bladder control improved but I still suffer stress incontinence and some general incontinence. I use a pad designed for urine to help with this and this is sufficient to deal with the incontinence, but obviously I woudl prefer to be continent! It is now 6 1/2 months since the birth.

I have asked to be checked twice since the birth - once three weeks after and once 8 weeks after as I have had some discomfort. Both times I was told it was too soon after the birth to expect things to feel anywhere close to normal and to go away and carry on with the pelvic floor exercises.

Most days I get little discomfort from the prolapse, but I am very 'loose' down there. This may be tmi, but when I pass wind it now tends to go straight into my vagina and then come out at a later time, noisily and without me being able to control it. This isn't too much of a problem whilst I have been on maternity leave, but I am about to go back to work so am very concerned about this. Luckily I do not pass wind that often!

Also I fairly regularly get discomfort and a bulging feeling. This is definitely not my cervix, but I think is the walls of vagina being pushed down. I think my bladder may have prolapsed as on self exam when standing the front wall of my vagins feels like it is bulging into may vagina A LOT!. Sometimes it also feels like I may alsop have a slight rectal prolapse too, although I am less sure about that and certainly get less of a problem with that side of things other than sometimes having a strong need to go quite suddenly. I also cannot run anywhere as it feels like my insides are going to drop out, which is a bit of a problem with two little ones in the house!

I can be a little bit rubbish at doing my pelvic floors but wonder whether this is a situation where if I made myself do them more religiously this would help or whether I need more serious help. I am quite scared to have sex, even though I do not have any pain, and I haven't even tried to use a tampon again, although I hate using pads.

I am also very concerned about the effects that this prolapse could have on any future pregnancy. My husband ana di are undecided about whether we would like a third child, but it is a possibility. I know that emotionally I could not face having another CS and would very much like another VBAC/ HBAC if I did have a third child. Does this prolapse make vaginal birth more difficult and more prone to complications? Am I more likely to need a CS if I do get pregnant again? I can find such little information about the effects of prolapse on pregnancy and labour, just info about the impact of pregnancy on prolapse!

If anyone can help me to start to answer these question or even help with an idiots guide so that I can start to get my head around what is happening to me, I would be eternally grateful!

Thanks in advance.