Angry with POP

Submitted by shellymum on October 16, 2008 - 6:05am
Body: 

Sorry this is going to be a bit of a "poor me" post, but I am trying my utmost to not let this get me down, but every single day I feel the effects of my post-partum POPs. I also have a "unstable pelvis" so I get a lot of associated pain with that as well, although that is slowly improving, with less bad days as the months go by.

I'm sure you all have similar or worse issues, but I can't even pass wind without feeling some effect on the rectocele and the cystocele too if my bladder is a bit full. Sorry this is TMI, but I really don't want to share with anyone I know IRL! It makes me panic and feel really icky.

Those of you who have been living with this for years, how do you go? Do you still have emotional ups and downs or is there a point when you more-or-less come to terms with it?

There are positives I have to admit - I am now taking my days a bit slower and not trying (so much) to be superwoman. Also, my diet has never been so healthy before, so that will be a lifelong gift, not only for me, but for my family as well as they are also eating healthier.

Thanks for listening.

louiseds

October 16, 2008 - 6:41am

Hi Shellymum

Of course you can have a whinge and moan!! As you say, it is not something that is easy to make a TMI call on with those close to us. I don't talk too much to my nearest and dearest cos I have all of you to vent with. I can't deal with their embarrassment as well as my frustration, so I save it for here. Actually, they cannot relate to it, and don't want to.

You're now about 9 months postpartum, so you are still a few months short of recovered from pregnancy, but I am sure that I still felt really loose and sloppy on the inside much longer than 12 months postpartum, but it did get better eventually. (Either that or I got pregnant again! LOL And felt so vile that feeling sloppy on the inside was not my major concern. More bothered by the inability to stand up for any period of time, cos I felt so awful.)

Yes, I have eventually come to grips with constantly having my POPs in the back of my mind, but not to the point that I think about it all the time. I do have to remind myself constantly about posture, particularly in my workplace where seating is not very good, and I have to hurry around to get things done sometimes. But that's OK, cos I know the benefit I get from the posture.

I think what happens is that I have become very confident of the benefits of all the things I *can* do to keep my POPs manageable. I trust my POPs not to get any worse cos I am managing them properly, and I know that if I do have a little setback I will recover from it in a few days. My body is now a lot more stable reproductively than it used to be. I have had a few missed periods this year (perimenopausal) and I can tell when the hormone levels are constant, versus when they are changing. Most of the time I feel as if they are quiet. Very little discharge, dryish vagina, no sore breasts, no bloating, less grumpiness. It is quite nice. then out of the blue I will have some mucous, then a few dry days, then sore boobs, low cervix, then a period. Then it all goes quiet again. Of course you don't get that stability at your stage of life. You are probably at the peak of hormonal cycles, with pregnancy, breastfeeding, new mum tiredness etc. This quietness will come to you too, many years from now. You just gotta learn to trust that your body will respond to WW techniques as much as it can during your reproductive years, after which you will hopefully get some of the stability I am getting.

Are you menstruating yet? Often, Mums of older babies get emotionally out of sorts before they start menstruating again. You can't understand it, cos you haven't had it for a while and don't recognise it, and you can't measure it cos your last menstrual period was years ago. That might be what it is.

Cheers

Louise

shellymum

October 16, 2008 - 7:12am

Thanks for your reply Louise. I stopped breastfeeding a while ago now. I think my emotional ups and downs are more to do with my attitude or moods than hormonal, but who knows?! It certainly takes a long time to get back to some semblance of normal after childbirth, doesn't it. I do think about my POPs every day, but only because my body reminds me. Otherwise I'd be happy to leave it at the back of my mind. I am hoping that I experience further recovery even after the 12 months are up, like you have. I too find I have to remind myself of the posture, especially when I'm tired at the end of the day, my pelvis is aching and slouching is too easy.

shellymum

October 16, 2008 - 7:23am

I suddenly thought my post isn't very encouraging for newly post-partum mums, so don't take any notice of me, I'm just feeling down : ) ...I should have added that I have had much improvement since my bub was born and just need to accept the changes my body has made.