Need Encouragement!

I think the fact that you have less control of the situation now is adding to your distress. You’re doing everything in your power to ease symptoms, but it seems like guilt about your present condition and fear about the future are paramount for you right now. Fortunately, you can do something about these emotional states.

How about if morning, noon, and night you sit comfortably in crosslegged postion - or any seated position where you are using the strength of your own spine and are pulled up into the upper body posture - and breathe deeply through your nose and into your lower belly. Close your eyes and just breathe slowly and deeply. It is truly the breath that creates pelvic organ support and we can use the breath to once again establish that same support. If you can do this for even a few moments it will help calm you and you will also be quietly building this natural strength we talk about here.

There is no reason a natural birth should worsen your symptoms. When your pelvis is fully open (i.e. not on your back with tailbone tucked under) and your baby is moving down the birth canal, your bladder and urethra are pushed forward into their natural positions.

Once the baby is born - and I wish for you a beautiful, gentle birth - you will have much more control, which will make you feel better all around. Listen to the birthed-with-prolapse moms here - they know of what they speak.

Wishing you well,

Christine

oh huge hugs to you! sounds like you need lots right now!!!

My prolapse came post baby, so i can't comment on pregnancy and birth with a prolapse, but I can relate to the guilt of trying to parent when you aren't your usual self. I had moderate to severe symphesis pubis,and could barely walk, couldn't move around, was in severe pain, and woke 20x a night--so i was exhausted. i also had a 3 1/2 year old. it was really hard, but that--and then my prolapses, taught me a lot about what matters. i really learned to settle down and enjoy just being with my elder son. when my prolapses developed post partum, we spent a ton of time snuggled on the sofa (me lying down) watching movies, playing lego, and reading. we just stopped. i felt guilty that we didn't go play in the park and run around (hey it was winter anyway), but he got me and my love and my cuddles. and as things got better, we ventured out more but i listen to my body to say what i need.

i also have learned to ask for help a lot. i have other people lift things for me, and are clear about my limits. i don't take my little one to all the places my elder went (i can't get the buggy up / down the stairs at our train station), but he is happy and knows he is loved.

as i said, i haven't been through birth with a prolapse. but as christine says, in a natural birth your body will open up and move everything out of the way for your baby--are you giving birth somewhere you feel confident that you can be in control & safe to birth the way your body needs? our second was born at home, and it was so diff't to our first. i birthed in peace and calm and the midwives made sure i gave birth in a position that was optimal for myself and our baby.

and remember- right after the birth, you will be free of 10lbs of weight currently sitting on your organs. and, you know the posture to be in as soon as you are upright. i spend the first few weeks being told to recline whilst i breastfed to deal with an oversupply--i wished i'd had the knowledge of what my body truly needed!

after a few weeks (i think alemama says six) you can start the breathings and exercises, and your body will get stronger than ever.

and you've got an amazing community of fab women who i know were my lifeline in those early weeks.

take care, breathe, and ease up on yourself. the arrival of your beautiful baby is only weeks away, and things will shift.

I've been thinking about your post all day, and trying to find time to respond. so here I am at midnight, so please forgive the rambling nature (I'm soooo tired)

prolapse doesn't happen in a vacuum. its part of your life. for many of us, its the first loss of health, or body integrity, or whatever you want to call it. I think no matter what it is, the first loss is the hardest to deal with because its so unexpected, and you've got no experience to fall back on.
but here's the thing, these crappy things that happen to us happen in the context of our lives. we sometimes think we'll do all these great things, or be this type of mom or wife or friend, and then when things dont' go our way we say ok, put the plan on hold and when this goes away I'll get back to it.
or we can say, this is now my lot. and I will do the best I can with what I have. believe me, I KNOW how depressing it is to have to get off my feet while someone else takes the kids out for a bike ride. I've been there. but there is so much more to parenting than that. It may not be what you envisioned or what you want but its what you've got right now. maybe you can't run around and maintain the household to your former standards. but your child knows you love him/her (sorry, I don't remember!) and even at 3.5 they are learning about life from interacting with you. You are probably the most important thing in your child's world, even with the pg and prolapse. right now, you're in the process of giving your older child one of the greatest gifts, a sibling. so if the tradeoff is a less active mom for a bit, its a good deal, imo.
my third was 3.5 when the fourth was born. I won't lie to you, its not easy.
bringing a second child into a family is not easy (how CAN you imagine it when you give your all to ONE, how will you manage with two?!). it gets chaotic sometimes, the beginning is hard. things fall apart. but then you put it together in a new way and by the time youre celebrating your baby's first birthday you'll realize, hey, we did this. we've got this gorgeous family and its working out ok.
but you have to get there one day at a time. I didn't know, before I had kids, that I would develop the capacity to worry about so many things that will probably never happen, and about what will be years from now. I try to stay focused on the here and now, because it can consume me and then I miss out on whats going on today.

I hope you can find some very supportive positive people to hang around these last few weeks, and try to visualize a good, healthy, safe birth for yourself. think about birthing on hands and knees, or standing. plan well for after, can you get any help around the house when the baby comes? can you freeze some meals or teach your dh to do the laundry? stock up on toiletries, non perishable food, whatever you can, now so that you can grab a nap or rest whenever the chance arises (not likely I know, with a three yo).
and yes, I reported that my prolapse got worse pp, but if you keep reading my posts, youll see it got better too.

so, take it one day at a time. and take good care of yourself. I know I always need extra TLC in my ninth month. {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}, mama. itll be ok.

can i just say thank you for your incredibly wise words granolamom! i have just sat down at my computer feeling incredibly low, my thoughts have been whirling about another pregnancy and i am getting so depressed that my body is failing and the potential for a difficult pregnancy. your words speak so much, i should concentrate on the now! be happy that day to day my prolapse is not painful or noticeable and aim for what we want in life - another baby!
i think we all should be thankful for what we've got and i would hope that davemayamom your situation will change postpartum - i imagine they will improve quite a lot. i face another pregnancy where i know it is very likely my cervix will be very low but i feel confident that it will be a temporary situation due to the weight of the baby and afterwards i will do my most to get back to the point at which i am at now! good luck!

Hi there
Dragging is the right term huh?! I'm 7 1/2 weeks pregnant and also have a 31/2 yr old and I feel my prolapse horrendously right now so I'm right there with you, slightly envious that you're soooo far ahead of me and so you can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel but also terrified that my symptoms are going to get so much worse and I'm finding it hard to walk now. I think i'll start a new post actually about a specific question I have but back to you. What I will say is this......when my mind is 'sorted' and I'm positive, I can cope. When I'm having a down day, it just makes the prolapse a thousand times worse. I go into panic mode and imagine all manner of things. I almost have to scream at myself to STOP but I find there are a couple of things that really help me to get out of the hole - Bach flower remedies and homeopathy (of course, I would say that wouldn't I as I'm a homeopath) but it's my knowledge about complementary therapies that have helped to heal me - I truly mean that. I think that all the wonderful women on here have coping mechanisms for their heads and scary moments too so it is a question of finding which one suits you - meditation perhaps with your legs crossed to help, Firebreathing too and all the brilliant stuff in the book. But sometimes our heads need a bit of care too to stop flooding our internal systems with internal chemicals - which only exacerbates the physical problems. So try it. Bush flower remedies are also good.
The other thing is to find a good midwife........not sure how you're planning on having the baby ior where you are but I've just met with a private midwife who, if all goes to plan, will stay with me throughout my care to help me "breathe the baby out". And of course to deliver the placenta in the right way. I could go on more and more about my recent meeting with her and what was said but I won't go into it in case you've investigated this option already.
Sending lots of hugs xxxxxxxxxxxx

I am on day 10 of bed rest and my whole body is itching to go outside and play with my kids- run a few loads of laundry and make a yummy dinner. So if misery loves company here I am. My dh is so fed up with having to do EVERYTHING and last night I tearfully told him I was done with bed rest. I was getting up and doing everything again so he could have a break. of course he wouldn't let me so here I am. Dealing with the pain I am in- the frustration of having to let others care for me and the resentment my man feels for not having his partner in good condition.

here is some advice- hire a postpartum doula. if people are asking what they can do for you as a gift ask for that. She will come and cook and clean and cuddle your little one while you have some time with your big one- or she will help your big one hold the baby carefully- things like that- hire her for two weeks if possible.
have friends make meals ahead for you and fill up your freezer. The last thing you need when learning to parent and nurture two kids is to have to think about dinner.
and just one more...it helps us to let the bigger baby be daddy's baby- so daddy does bed time and park time and everything for about 6 weeks- mommy is there for a cuddle and a story- but not to push in a swing or dress or bathe- basically you get the fun part- daddy does the work.

and yes it will be different. but it is going to be amazing. what I have noticed with my 3 births so far is that the pp period lasts about a year and then the fog clears and I am like a new woman- so if your house is messy for a year- so be it- if you order in more than normal- it is just a year- it will be fine

and yes the pressure is going to get so much better after you get that baby out. but then the slackness will settle in and your balance will be off and you will feel all loose and it might not hurt as much but the sensation is not comfortable.
not much longer now- and then in a year you will not even remember this.

reading all this makes me feel sooooo much better and that there really is hope.....i just had my second son 12 wks ago and i feel so much pressure to have the house clean and dinner cooked while trying to look a certain way....of course i will never meet these expectations that i have created for myself so it just lets me down.....its just good to know that other woman are going through the same things and have survived. I never dreamed i would be facing this(cystocele/rectocele)i had no idea that this happened to woman and it is so sad to me. Maybe its just an illusion i have created but i feel like everyone expects you to just continue on right after having a baby like it never happened. I have a 2 year old and a 12 wk old.....my husband works long hours and i do it by myself most of the time....well i was going to write more but the baby just started crying...well anyways its so exhausting...okay just had to vent!

I had lots of visions about how my life was going to be after the birth of my baby. We were going to walk everyday and go to the park. My house was going to be clean(I am a clean freak). I was going to make my own baby food, use cloth diapers, wear the baby in the sling all of the time(I did this with my son 10 years ago), and basically be the same parent I was to my son. Guess what? I'm 39(38 when my daughter was born 7 months ago) not 28 like I was with my son. My pelvic organs have fallen out. The house is bigger and takes way more time to clean than a 2 bedroom apartment. I homeschool my son and that takes about 4 hours each day. I am using cloth diapers and nursing the baby without supplementing. That is about the best I can manage. I am getting over the guilt of needing to lay down with the baby for an hour each afternoon. It just helps with the back pain I am having from these prolapses.

At first I felt like I was failing everybody. Then I realized the only person who had these ideas about what/how much I should be doing was me. So, now my house is a little messy. Dinners can be prepared in 30 minutes instead of 2 hours. I nap and take time to exercise. I feel better when I do these things. This allows me to take better care of my family. I too never dreamed I would have to face life with prolapses. It sucks! However, it does force me to stay still a lot more which was something I was never good at. I have always been a person who will just do one more thing before we sit down and read a book or build with blocks. Well, guess what? Now I welcome the chance to just sit on the floor and play. My son and I have played more board games since I developed prolapses than I have in my whole life. He loves it and I am grateful.

Melissa

P.S. I just started firebreathing. Wow! What a great thing that is!

just my SI joint fussing with me. Me and my SI go way back- and I am just in a flare up- unable to take meds for it- so I am resting and icing until the inflammation goes away.
it is frustrating to be in the honeymoon period of my pregnancy and have to be in bed- I love the 6th month- the belly finally looks like a pregnant belly and my energy is high and my mood is great- but I want to be able to move for the third trimester and I need my hips to be in a good position with no disc issues or pinching nerves- so I figure I will put my time in now and when I am feeling better I will not over do it- and when I get this baby out of here I will start working to support the area again-

as for pregnancy after prolapse- well I just waited until I was totally confident in my present physical condition. There is not a single doubt in my mind that I will get back to that a year or two after the birth- and I know it will be worth it totally. Plus I know what is going on now- I will be able to guide my birth to the best possible outcome for me physically with the prolapse in mind.

As much as you want to be done with the pregnancy the best thing for you and your baby is to have a no intervention birth- which means not rushing into the delivery- waiting your sweet time for the baby to get here and birthing gently gently.

So sorry to hear you are on bedrest. Since you've said you've dealt with this previously, my suggestion may or may not be helpful, but have you considered seeing a physical therapist? I mean, a really good physical therapist who works with pg women? I know that I had regular visits to one with my second and third children, and due to these tiny adjustments to my body, totally avoided any back/hip discomfort. Hope you feel better soon!

Marie