Where to start? A newbie to this world... :(

Submitted by Limberlost on December 23, 2008 - 12:48pm
Body: 

Hi everyone,

So I'm at the start of this journey. I have recently 'discovered' a likely cystcele (awaiting dr. appointment in January) but I am fairly certain it is this. I started noticing about 6 months ago when inserting tampons that I had to give it an extra little push to get it in. And after intercouse with DH, I felt a bit raw and irritated, and sort of 'puffy'. This month I actually felt a bit of bulging down there and gulp, took a look. And I see and feel this bulge which I can push up and out of the way with my finger. But when I release it, the bulge comes back down. Now I have this ultra awareness of the 'feeling' down there and it's driving me mad. I been reading everything I can about it and found this wonderful website.

I am 34, two kids. 4 and 2 years old. My last child was 9 1/2 pounds! And with my first delivery I tore back to front quite badly, though I thought I healed o.k...

I am extremely active and in decent shape. A jogger (who recently took up running again- could I have caused the cystocele? Plus I've been doing a lot of pilates lately..), and eat well, etc. I fear that I will no longer be able to do the things I love- especially jogging and dancing, etc... I am feeling quite depressed about all of this. I have been doing kegels like crazy for the past two weeks, in desperate attempt to help.

Every once in a while I have a little bladder leakage (when I sneeze or jump or when I really have to 'go') but always have been like this, even before having kids. So I never felt like there was cause for concern, until very recently when I now feel something has drastically changed down there. *Sigh.

Sorry, but I need to vent or I'm going to lose it! I thank each and every one of you who takes the time to read this, and hopefully respond. I've been reading previous posts, and feel like there is so much understanding and support out there. But right now, I'm quite sad and worried.

Peace,

J

granolamom

December 23, 2008 - 3:18pm

welcome to the site, though I'm sorry you have reason to seek us out
holiday season stress and all, my thoughts are a mumble jumble right now, but I wanted to respond while I have the chance, so bear with me

you've always had a bit of bladder leakage, so my guess is that this prolapse has been years in the making. could be the tearing during childbirth was the last straw, who really knows. fact is, its presence is known now. please dont' blame yourself for too much jogging, pilates, whatever. prolapse is hard enough to deal with without heaping unwarranted blame on yourself. good news is that you're here now, and you will learn how to stabilize, if not reverse to some degree, the cystocele.

I found mine when I was 32 or 33, don't remember which. it was shocking to say the least. and now, a few years later, I am doing all the things I love, which included having another baby. so your life is not over. feels that way right now, and that's to be expected, but trust me, it gets better.

don't know if you were looking for advice in addition to support, but I can't help myself, so here's some, even if it is unsolicited:

- buy the book. be sure to get the second edition
- take a long hard look at your diet. make sure you never ever get constipated. straining on the toilet is not good for prolapse
- cut down on the kegels. they cannot fix a prolapse (although they can be useful for compensating for stress incontinence). you can overdo it.
- take care with pilates. don't know all that much about pilates specifically, but take care not to squeeze your abdominals. like a situp or crunch, even in other positions. this pushes your pelvic organs down.
- try to learn the posture. you can learn it here, and its further described in the book. this will help reposition your spine so that your pelvic organs are supported in a more stable way.

now I have to run to the busstop to meet my ds, but we're here for you. we've been there so we understand. {{{{hugs}}}}

Limberlost

December 23, 2008 - 4:53pm

Thank-you granola! I'm looking for advice AND support, so thank-you for your words of wisdom. Like I wrote in another forum (still finding my way around here) I have A LOT to learn, and re-learn about my body. I'm a little timid now to exercise and not sure what may be stressful to the pelvic floor. So until I have my dr.'s appointment in January, I'll take it easier than normal- no jogging (*sniff, sniff). Going to be hard for me, since I'm quite active (getting rid of the last 10 pounds of the baby weight!). Plus cardio exercise makes me a happier person (and I think better mom and wife!).

I'll ease up on the kegels! Funny, I just thought I'd squeeze my way back to normal if I did enough of them! Not so simple, I guess. I will talk to my doctor (she is very alternative minded, so I suspect she will support Christine's approach), then perhaps seek a physiotherapist who specializes in POP, and they can recommend safe abdominal and cardio exercises. I hate to admit it, but I'm hosting my own pity party right now. It just seems cruel that after all my hard work getting back into shape after baby #2, and feeling like the 'old' me again, that this new 'problem' should arise. So thank-you for reminding me that my life isn't over despite feeling crummy right now. Thanks again. And I'll be hanging around here, taking it all in. J

granolamom

December 23, 2008 - 5:07pm

let me preface by saying that I was never the very athletic type. but I've always been in shape, and try to take care of my body. can't run, arthritic knees, but have always been walking briskly for exercise. this is no problem as long as done in the correct posture.
as far as abdominals, I never had a flat belly. but once I started staying in posture and doing the firebreathing (and now the nauli), my abs have never looked so good. no flat stomach, because we don't want a flat stomach. a flat stomach doesn't give your pelvic organs any room. so they have to hang over the vaginal opening, which as you now know, is not a good thing. the posture allows for a rounded belly (not flabby, not hanging out, but rounded) which is where you can keep your pelvic organs safely over the public bone.

I hope your doctor is open to hearing about christine's work. I was very disappointed that my midwife smiled and nodded and then recommeded that I do kegels and crunches and shoulder stands.

I think that you will, in time, get back to your running. but you might want to first, reshape your body. many of us have been living our lives in a posture that is not at all similar to what is advocated here. some muscle groups need to be stretched and others strengthened before the posture feels comfortable enough to exercise in. but you'll get there.

kaismom

December 24, 2008 - 7:41am

Welcome to this wonderful group. I have never felt as supported as I do hear. I love that you can ask anything. Having said that, I am only 7 months postpartum, and I can tell you that the posture is helping a lot as is the firebreathing. Granolamom is right about the constipation. Avoid it at all costs. I felt as if my life was over when this first happened to me. I was even thinking having the baby was a mistake. Now I realize this was a lifetime in the making(chronic constipation since childhood). I have accepted my new body and I am working to be as healthy as I can. I switched from power walking to cycling(I am an exercise nut) and once I feel confident enough in the posture I will try walking again.

Keep your chin up. Once the grieving is over things will start to really improve if you do the work.