what does your prolapse look like?

Hi, mine is exactly what you described. Except my obgyn told me that it was just my urethra (like no big deal, right?!). I hate the way it feels all day long too. I try to do the exercises that I have learned, they do actually seem to help sometimes. It is hard to remember though, I also have two small children, my second baby is only three months.

Dear Youngmommy,

There is no easy fix. What myself and many other women who have written into the forum have experienced is that by supporting the prolapse through posture, exercise, and comfortable clothing, significant-enough improvement can be made to live very well with this.
Just to clarify, the video has much different content than the book. You said you watched the video. Are you making time for the exercises? Are you practicing the posture? Are you allowing yourself plenty of rest too?
The only reason to keep this forum going is for women who are dealing successfully with prolapse to communicate with those who are not to see if encouragement, additional information, and a responsive ear might help. I will not be able to continue being the sole supporter here.

Wishing you well,

Christine

yong
i am sorry that we all are dealinfg with this. i do think we need to make the choice to decide this is how it is now what can i do. i feel very empowered when i do the exercises on the tape combined with those in the book. the cystocele bulges the most, the retocele causes me to m ake certain i eat well so it will work well & i really think those 2 outter bulges keep the cervix from presenting out--they're my pessary :) no it;s not a fun condition to deal with, but it doesnt have to be debilitating either. At times it feels like bearng down and pushing would pass these organs out of the way. Obviously that's not what anyone wants to do, but that's the feeling like something needs to be passed or delivered. that's why it is so irritating because when the bowel, rectum is full we push to pass that fullness away. When the bladder is full we push to pass the fullness away. Fullness gives the feeling that it needs to be relieved.

The exercises help me to feel more lifted and then I don't notice my situation as much. Okay here's a word that I don't htink I've seen on the forum, but when I have the proper posture my whole bottom is stretched in a good way and when I kegal I can feel it in the clitorous more so than if I do not have the lumbar curve held. Also when walking and the falling out feeling is strong I make certain to relax my abdominials, while holding lumbar curve and trying a kegal. I can then feel my organs over the pelvis and they do not feel as low.

Try not to get discouraged. I cannot go the surgical route as I just do not trust that it is a cure and so I am going to do whatever I can to feel good about the situation I am in. I am going to go and do the things I enjoy and make certaint hat I care for myself. It's hard having 3 little ones, but I am going to do it.

I am going to make certain I put nourishing food in my body, take the time to exercise, and most importantly take the time to rest my body.

Hang in there young mommy.

ym
btw one more piece of advice, quit looking at it. I obsessed about it for about 6 months after the birth of my second child and looked at it everyday. that does nothing for your psyche and make even make you feel it more.

I second everything FOG said. Keep doing the posture and exercises consistently. It is not a quick fix, especially if your condition was severe to begin with. Mine was relatively mild, and I had almost immediate improvement, but I know not everyone will experience this. This is a life-long commitment to my health.

God bless,
julie

I

i just wanted to know
>compared to others, does it look like that for everyone? or
>can some not see it? or for others does it come way out? i

YM,
You know, I understand your need to compare. :) However, it is probably very different for each person and some people probably don't look and therefore don't know. I hope you didn't feel "chided" or anything because your question brought up a great discussion and possibly will set you free from the obsession and anxiety that I suffered from looking at it so much.

My sister is 37 (I'm 33); she had her first at age 19 and her last at age 24. I had my first at age 28 and my last at 33. She never mentioned any changes to her bottom, but she also is not someone to be aware of her body or at least to discuss it. Me I have no problems with that. However, as I have been expressing to her what I've learned on this site and the changes I have gone through, it seems she probably has a degree of prolapse-- but she's never looked and probably never will look. She described it as "stuff touching my underwear"... sound familar? But because she's not researched like I have (which the research I did on UPRISE and other sites was so depressing, so scary, and devestating) she's not concerned or afraid. Now I don't want to say ignorance is bliss, because it's not. The knowledge we are gaining from this forum and Christine's work is POWER and it is HOPE. That's the difference. So I'm sharing with her about posture and the exercises and so she'll probably never have an anxiety attack over that "stuff touching her underwear" but she will have the knowledge of how to strengthen her body and improve her situation that she's not even anxious about.

Do you have pain? Or is this just an annoyance? Do you feel responsible for your situation? Do you blame others or other situations? I was depressed after I discovered my prolapse the thought of the date May 27 of my daughter's birth was depressing! I finally came to terms with the situaiton. It is annoying. At times it's inconvient, but I'm not suffering unbearable pain like someone who has a back injury from an automobile accident, I'm not dying of cancer, and I now have 3 healthy children that I will focus my energy into.

You can work through this, I know. Accept the situation. Take time for yourself. Eat well. Exercise often. Do what you really enjoy. Focus on your loves. Trust in your body's ability to sustain lifegiving health.

I also wanted to validate your feelings. :) You dr. is a nut to think that you would hate this new lower feeling. She's not in your body. And to insinuate that you are discouraged by this unknowable change because you've be sexually abused seems to me unprofessional. You needed to be validated. I hope I have validated your feelings, while at the same time trying to encourage you to something positive. That "hate" can be used to spur you to action and turned into something postive.

hi Youngmommy

i agree with you! it'd be great to be able to talk with people about this.
On the other hand, we are all really lucky we can "talk" on this forum. Can you imagine what it would have been like 5, 10, 15 years ago? Isn't it great to be able to go on line and read comments by other women experiencing the same thing? I appreciate your openness ... your frank questions and your ability to express your worries. I, too, have been in the bathroom, checking things out with a mirror. I think you have received some good advice here ... keep asking, keep talking, keep looking for solutions.
oh, by the way, i like how Christine explains that, unlike what some doctors might imply, running (or walking) isn't necessarily harmful ... if you use the posture, it can work just fine.
loralie

hello Young Mommy-- I'm surprised that no one so far has mentioned using a sea sponge. that is the one thing I've gotten from this forum that I have found very helpful. It takes care of the "falling out feeling" for me. I use the kind that are sold as alternatives to menstrual pads/tampons and are sold in a health food store. Called "Sea Pearls" (www.jadeandpearl.com) 1-800-219-9765.
I try to use it only when I am going to be physically active (which is most of the day) and not at night. I only wonder whether it interfers with the vagina regaining/retaining it's normally flattened shape. However, it sure beats feeling like something is coming out.
I've been thinking about you today ever since I read this forum last night. I appreciate your candidness about your feelings--And I think it's healthier to look (maybe not constantly) than to not. Actually, the first time I felt it/saw it I thought--"what can this be? This is just too weird. . ." I used my finger to push my cervix back and I thought that was that. I did not look. In retrospect, I think some prolapse was happening long before I felt it.
I'm going to start another thread about dreams, internal massage, etc. . .
Take care then. . .

Hi YM,

I am 31. I had my 3rd baby 7 weeks ago and my prolapse is far far worse now. I completely understand your feelings. They are exactly my feelings. I HATE the falling out and falling apart feeling. I feel like I cannot do anything physical at all. It is unbelievably depressing. I am so glad to know that I am not alone and that there are other young moms on here. I feel like I am the ONLY person under the age of 40 dealing with this and it's horrible. I have been doing the posture for over a month and have been trying to do the exercises, but it's SO HARD to get a chance to exercise with 3 little children. There is NEVER any time and when there is I am so totally exhausted I can't. I have never experienced this degree of exhaustion before in my life. I do the posture as much as possible (which by the way, I find absolutely impossible to do while nursing - which is a huge percentage of the time). So far, it has not helped the tiniest little bit. I am so desperate for a break and I feel like I can't be a decent mom with this lousy problem. I do believe however, that I'm going down the right path. I'm trying to follow my intuition. During the past few weeks I've really had a kind of vision in my mind of my prolapse problems and how posture affects it. I feel that I must get some deep tissue massage to release the rock solid muscles in my back and that freeing that up with help everything else. I know that the Pessary thing is a bit of a controversy, but I feel that it would be extremely helpful as a temporary bandaid to get me through for a while - and that even more importantly, it would help me emotionally. I was fitted for one before this last pregnancy, but never got a chance to use it. However, for the short time that I was trying it out at the dr.'s office I was amazed at how much of a difference it made for me.

Anyway, my kids are crying, but you are definately not alone in your feelings and frustrations, but I believe we are on the path to healing - hang in there,

Monica

monica,
i sooo relate to the nursing bad posture. :) i try to lie down as much as possible or sit on the floor cross legged with a nursing pillow & an extra pillow to raise him up high enough so i dont slouch...except for now as sit nursing & typing.

i am thinking about trying sea sponge for when i go back to work. i deal with rectocele and fear a pessary would worsen, so the sponge sounds viable for me.

it is especially difficult to rest & take care of yourself when you have 3 children who need you. however i have found a few essential exercises that make me feel better & i can do them in very little time. if you have video & book you'll know which ones these are, if not i'll explain them at your request & when i can have both my hands.

childs pose
downward dog
all fours side leg lift 10 each side
all fours rear leg lift kicking heel to ceiling 10 each side
standing leg raise straight out in front 10 times each leg

these simple exercises take less than 5 min & i feel better when i have finished them; sometimes it takes me 5 different sessions to them all.

baby comforting strategy with good posture: sit on the balance ball & bounce! my baby loves this more than rocking. i think bc it simulates the bounce of walking.

i think too that you should do whatever helps you emotionally. before i discovered prolapse i belonged to a group where women were striving to have a vaginal birth after cesearan. Then I had my vbac and found prolapse! I was deprssed. I should not belong to "that" other group. I'm a new mom! I had a victory! My body works! What's this?! I felt so cheated and I hated that everytime I picked up my baby it felt my insides were squishing out. I really strive to keep my mind focused on other things so i dont go back to that place of despair. thats a horrible place to be with a new baby & all the hormonal changes. were your 2nd & 3rd births fairly close together? i have confidence that your body will raise up those organs to some degree on its own about a year pp even if you do nothing. if you do something i believe you will have even greater rise. its my hope for you that your organs return to a place of comfort for you, where you know that you can fuction & live without pain--physically or emotionally. you are strong-- you birthed 3 children; you are able to deal with this situation, make choices that give you comfort & hope.

To answer your question about what prolapse looks like, mine first was like a little ball that looked like the inside of your cheek. Then it got worse in two weeks and it all came out, my cervix. It looked like a chicken gizzard folded up and always had discharge on it. It was gross to me. My husband said it didn't look that gross since it was smooth and not corrupted. I was obsessed too, looking for information online. I'm still looking and found this webside. I felt very depressed and am just getting over these emotions. I am wearing a pessary since yesterday and it feels so much better. I am not falling out everytime I stand up or use the toilet. I would look all the time too with a little mirror while on the toilet and would have my husband look too and then cry. I just placed an order for the video and book but no one answered and I had to leave a message on the telephone. What is this controversy about the pessary? I feel a bit more normal now although I am going back to the doc to be fitted for a smaller on now because I feel that it is pressing on my rectum and I feel like I have to have a bowl movement all day. Have I mentioned that I am 15 weeks pregnant with my third child. I have a 5 and 7 year old and I am 30 years old. I was mad at myself for not taking care of my body. I do little or no exercise,because I've always been thin and a lazy for the outdoors and always worked at a desk. I now stay home full time, quit work 4 months ago and since my husband is self employed I now have no insurance. I have my pregancy covered through AIM and afterwards am going to get personal medical insurance which I hope I have no problems getting.

A very important question, please comment and do not get offended. I don't mean to get personal but I need to know if your sexual life can again be normal? My doctor has said that my husband I are not to be intimate for my whole pregancy. It made me not feel like a woman. What do you all know about this. We were intimate once after my first wrong diagnosis ( a growing mass). I felt nothing wrong, I was just tired and it didn't hurt just felt a little sore afterwards. My doctor had said "NO" to this but I was desperate to know what would happen. Thank you again for your response and your openess to my question.

I feel encouraged knowing that there are others out there who are young have children and I'm glad I'm not the only one although I wish you didn't all have to go through this.

I'm grateful to God that I have healthy children and a supportive husband. I am going to work on becoming a whole woman, eat and live healthy and work on my posture, it has always been terrible, I forever slouch. I have faith in God and trust Him that I will be O.K. Of course I feel down sometimes and cry alot but it helps to cry and talk and then I feel better. I tell my husband to tell me a thousand times a day that I'm going to be o.k. I'm TRYING TO focus on others and not myself. There are others worse off than I am.

God bless you all.

i didn't have a chance to do more than skim your post. but if prolapse is the only issue i don't see why you can't have sex. i did. i didn't toward the end b/c my midwives were out of town...but as soon as they were back in town at 39 weeks we did and i went into labor about 4 hours later! lOL! i might get a second opinion if i were you. sorry to be so short, but have happy holidays.

Hi Meri,

I have never been pregnant since discovering my prolapse (that I know of, my baby is 18 months old), but as far as just because of the prolapse, there is no reason that you shouldn't be able to have a normal sex life. I do not know about the details of your pregnancy though. I would push the doc to tell you in detail why he/she thinks you can't be intimate with your husband.

Julie

Hi Merri:
Please have your doc help you understand why no big O's for you during your pregnancy. I would like to understand.
It is not going to repeat a "mass" type of growth is it??
Me and my man just ignore my prolapse as best we can though I am embarrassed. once we are on the way it is not an issue.
It's been 25 years since my second and last pregnancy, but i recall i had a lot of fun without any hesitation.
If you are at risk of loosing the baby then that is not a normal conditon and then you should understand even to the simplest reason as to why you should avoid intimacy--i think inimacy is one of humanities ways to bond the parents so that the babes will receive the devotion of 2 happy parents.
I am not as negative about this prolapse now as when it was first noticed. It is my cerix- frequently hanging out like a little penis.
I wear pany liners to catch any secretions. Tomorrow I will deal with what changes may be mine. Hope you can simply enjoy your pregancy and the wonderment of new life. Keep in touch with doctors and keep your health and happiness as the goal.
Cathy

I gree that it is awful the way it feels. Mine is like a eggplant with a round top and bottom. My midwife after my first child said that it was nothing at all. it has taken until my third for a doctor put a name to it. Mine has gotten worse with each child. It used to go away a few months after birth now more than a year latter it is here to stay and it feels as if it has fully come out because I am feeling a top. It is mental anguish just to walk which is making me look lazy. How do you tell people that you did not clean the house today because you just could not stand to move around and are trying to avoid even walking or when you really want to clean you sit down and scoot across the floor to avoid the feeling

Hey - I too am a young mum (just the one sprog - 5 months),and, since you asked, as I am also at that checking it out obsessively stage, this is what mine looks like, when standing.

Just behind the 'peeing hole' seems to be scaley vaginal wall that has prolapsed (I'm sure it should be on the inside), behind that is a smooth bulge (my friend, the moderate cystocele), and behind that the more solid and pointy cervix. They all come to the entrance to my vagina on a bad day. When I wake up in the morning, the cervix is definitely higher, and the cervix is also less visible when bladder full ( presumably competing for space).

I look reasonably 'normal' down south when lying back.

I knew things weren't right a few days after the birth, however 2 midwives and one doctor dismissed my concerns before finally the nurse doing my smear at 4 months told me to see an ObGyn. Apparently I have a moderate cystocele and first degree UP (but I think it's actually moderate). I was told by this supposedly renowned and very expensive ObGyn, after a 2 second examination, quite flippantly that I would need a vaginal hysterectomy....no big deal, ya know, just whip out the old uterus and you'll be good as new. Needless to say, I am seeking an alternative management solution to the problem of my bulgey bits!

Hope that wasn't too gory.

your thoughts about ur prolapse are simlar to mine i to did everything right exercised and atewell through both my pregnacys im only 30 years old and have friends who ate crap put on tons of weight and really dont care much for exercise yet they have no prolapse and am really wondering why me? it seems that this blog was written a couple of years ago if thats so have ur symtoms improved since then ?
Kate

i am 27 and i have had no children yet but i have got myself all worried, the opening of my 'beep' ( i cannot say that word for which i am sorry) has got two rounded balls kind of, which are both well inside but i dont know whether this is normal because i didnt really know what it looked like before i started obsessing about it!!! I have had trouble going to the loo with constipation and things for a while and i started to feel an irritation up the word i cannot say (which was why i started poking around up there) this feeling is often worse at night, the irritation I mean. Its also worse when i feel consipated. I have no pain anywhere and no leakages, but someone mentioned the feeling of a tampon not being quite in properly and thats what i had been feeling. the trouble is i dont really know what it was like before so i dont know if theres anything wrong.

There really is no controversy about the pessary. It works and nobody denies that, but it's just the fact that many women have trouble using them, mostly because they have inadequate support from the medical profession, or they find it isn't really a PRACTICAL solution for them. They are not given the right type, or the right size, or they are not shown how to manage it. The pessary is not the perfect solution; it is a partial solution. If you are sexually active then you must be able to remove it and reinsert it yourself. This is often uncomfortable (read: very painful) and kind of a big deal to do 3 or 4 times a week. Sometimes it causes annoying issues like the feeling of a full bladder, or having to defecate, but ideally you should feel nothing when it is inside. Some women have to remove it every time they defecate. Some women have trouble with it wanting to slip (shoot?) out at inopportune times. If it is fitted incorrectly it can cause irritation or even damage to tissues. Some women have excessive discharge while wearing it. Sometimes you leak urine more while wearing a pessary. But the fact remains that if you have a correctly fitted pessary, that is the ONE thing that can give you the feeling everything is back way up high where it belongs. The posture, the exercises, the avoidance of straining, all of that is important to minimize discomfort and give you the feeling things are stable, or are resting more supported, or are a bit higher up, but nothing makes you feel "back to normal" like taking it to the elevation a pessary can take it.

Now, the controversy may be over whether it is worth it to fool around with a pessary, but that is less an actual controversy then simply a personal choice. One way to look at it is if you can adjust yourself to accepting the "falling out" feeling as NORMAL then you won't have to go through the bother of a pessary. That is a very subjective issue; probably no two of us have EXACTLY the same combination of physical sensation, emotional reactions and daily habits. Personally, I find that the falling out feeling bothers me much more if I am under stress and lack control of my own schedule. If I become constipated it is much worse. Having frequent sexual intercourse makes it much BETTER. Using the balms Christine sells makes it feel much better. For me it varies from day to day, some good days, some bad days, and I do have a pessary I use when I become too aware and aggravated by the prolapse.

Prolapse requires an ongoing management PROCESS - you never achieve a state where you are "fixed" and not broken anymore, where you never have to think about it or work at it anymore (that is the false lure of surgery), but you DO achieve an equilibrium - a state of acceptance. If you think of the pessary as just one tool in a whole arsenal of tools that you must work with as a regular part of life, the way you would watch your diet, say, or brush your teeth every day, then the pessary might be helpful, but it is not going to erase the problem completely.

As for the doctor telling you not to have sex while pregnant, my advice would be to question him very carefully about exactly why. If he cannot give you a very specific, rational reason, then I would suspect he's just covering his legal butt. A specific reason, such as, oh, say, semen contains a substance that may start premature labor and you are at risk for that, then I guess you could argue what if you use a condom, or otherwise try to find a resolution. But if he gives you something vague and won't be open to discussion or compromise, then get a second opinion. It's worth trashing your love life for REAL and present danger but not for just making the doctor feel he is safer liability wise. You have to make that judgment call!

Hi AnneH

I would just like to add to your comments about doctors. We all have different reasons for seeing a doctor, and the doctor is the only one who has heard them all. Some women use the doctor as the source of all truth. The other end of the scale is the woman like me who goes looking for specific information and puts the doctor through serious cross-examination to get the specific answer to the specific question (pity my poor doctors, but I do give them a lolly if they come up with an acceptable answer!). After they have put up with my cross-examination a few times they realise that I am not after their blood, and not trying to catch them out. I just want them to impart their knowledge so that I can decide for myself the course of action from the information they provide, and from the information I have gleaned elsewhere. I usually end up with a good, trusting relationship with the doctor, but unfortunately in our town we have a high turnover of doctors (usually from overseas, who have to spend 18 months outside the city, before being allowed to practise in the city. It is all to do with Medicare and trying to solve our doctor shortage in Australia), so I might only see new doctors once or twice before they move to the city.

Sometimes they will give you an answer that is ultra-conservative to cover their 'bottom'; sometimes they will give you an answer that is generally right; sometimes it is a stab in the dark; sometimes it is wrong; sometimes it is what they think they can get away with; sometimes it is out of date information; sometimes it is a wives' tale. Sometimes it is right! The difficulty for the patient is in knowing whether we can trust the answer. Much of this trust or distrust is built on our past experiences with the doctor in question.

In summary, I do agree that we need to question doctors very carefully. There are sometimes cultural misunderstandings, and the trust needs to be established, and it needs to be earned by the person who is being paid for service.

Cheers

Louise

Hey Tricky. There is a self exam article here. Look for it under articles on the main page. This is not to replace an exam from your doctor but it will give you some peace of mind and understanding. To me it sounds like a rectocele based on what you are feeling and the constipation.