A week in the "real world"

Submitted by bad_mirror on February 24, 2009 - 9:31pm
Body: 

After discovering my cystocele at 5 weeks pp, I pretty much spent the next seven weeks too afraid to spend much time off of my butt. I discovered this site, slowly started implementing the posture and other therapies, and was starting to see enough improvement to give me hope of healing.

The baby and I spent the last week in New York City watching Daddy perform and it was both a great and depressing experience. The first travel day was stressful (first flight for baby and he was perfectly behaved!) and my bladder bulged to a point I hadn't seen it since the first time I discovered it. I was so devastated! I'd asked strangers to help with my luggage and sat for hours on end in is much semblance of the posture as I could during the flights. I even spent the layover on my hands and knees (gross on terminal floor!) And still I got bulgy. I'd been having really good days and then it seemed I was right back where I started! I went to bed a crying mess, sure I'd awake to a bladder so big it would take weeks to undo. But the next morning, it was smallish again. It made me think that G-d gifts us a smaller-in-the-morning prolapse to remind us that every day is a new start and a new opportunity to heal. I decided that if I was going to survive a week in NYC, I needed to take charge. I bought a little stoller, which I pushed IN POSTURE. I wore tampons for physical and psychological support, but always walked IN POSTURE. I made a point to take a two hour afternoon siesta to lie down with baby at the hotel. This all kept the bulge at bay (except for one day), and if nothing else, gave me the positive mental boost I needed to know that I could walk all over NYC and shop and enjoy without feeling abnormal. It made me realize that I can get off my butt, NEED TO get off my butt, and return to normalcy. I was bummed not to be wearing baby as I had envisioned, but realized he probably had a grand time stolling like any other NY baby. The tampons may be false security (not going to make a habit of it), but they really helped me to have an enjoyable time. I think that getting active in the posture helped the most, however. This was the most I've walked since the birth some 3.5 months ago. I even survived a night of food poisoning, (vomitus maximus!) without bulging!

I've arrived back to find the book and DVD in my mailbox and look forward to learning more coping strategies. It was really nice to have hours of forgetting about my cystocele. I look forward to more.

alemama

February 24, 2009 - 9:46pm

how wonderful for you to have a peaceful trip with your babe and to come to the realization that most of the work we do to improve prolapse is done while moving. It only gets better. I used tampons and they provided me great relief if I knew I was going to be doing something strenuous. And when my cycle returned (one cycle) I found my rectocele to be even smaller then ever - I attributed this to having the tampon in 24/7 for 3 or 4 days and pushing the bulge back into "normal" position. If you plan to use one long term you may like to look into the sea sponge.

louiseds

February 24, 2009 - 10:36pm

Hi Bad Mirror

I am grinning my face off here! :-D You have such quick improvement! I too have pounded the streets of NYC, about 8-10 hours a day for a week, thinking about how amazing it was that I could do it. I didn't have to cope with a baby, though. I bet there are many others who do the same, some easily, some with great difficulty. I also had 24 hours of flying economy class from Western Australia to get there. My lumbar support cushion was invaluable.

Alemama is right. Just one thing though. Be prepared to have the odd short term setback, like your one day, occasionally. They happen for various reasons (including before periods), and are usually only a few days duration. They pass, with good posture, a bit of rest and the right exercise and right food.

You have done admirably, and are no doubt feeling more confident. Give yourself a pat on the back. Your trust in your body will grow and grow. You will live comfortably and without fear again.

Cheers

Louise

bad_mirror

February 25, 2009 - 12:15am

Thank you for the cheers of support and encouragement! I am starting to see a pinhole of light where there was just darkness. So much "why me?" I had the gentle homebirth, squatting in water, that was supposed to help avoid this sort of thing -- only pushed for 38 minutes and had a small 2nd degree perineal tear that was stitched. I did (do?) have a tipped uterus and spent many many years in the pelvic positions of professional ballet. I also had to do those god-awful Pilates hundreds on an almost daily basis. I always hated them (fate fortelling?) and got very good at getting out of doing the whole set by taking a sip of water or adjusting my mat. Such things may explain a predisposition to my prolapse, and here's to hoping that the gentle homebirth gives me a leg-up on healing as opposed to a birth that was managed. But I digress . . .

Anyway, I guess I should clarify that when I say I didn't get bulgy, I guess I just didn't get as bulgy as I sometimes can. It's still right there, but seeing an area the size of my fingernail is sooo much better than seeing an area the size of a quarter or more. (Yep, not past the checkerama yet). I feel I have very far to go before I can really register improvement and it seems like the setbacks and leaps forward happen hourly, but each tiny victory counts for so much, you know?

Alemama -- yes! I ordered sea sponges. Those tampons in a breastfeeding va-jay is D-R-Y! I'm glad to hear that you use tampons as "complementary" therapy. I do think that, like a knee brace or something, some support could be very helpful to postpartum tissues.

Louise -- I have flown economy to Fiji from the States. I was 22 years old, no POP, and it was still hellish. I hope you had some red wine with your lumbar pillow to ease that journey! ;-)

Connie54

February 25, 2009 - 9:14am

Other than the sea sponges, could anyone tell me what kind of tampons they have had success with? I have tried the regular, sport and plus tampons only to find they feel ok for a few hours then they come down and feel very uncomfortable and my cystocele bulges around it. Somedays I'm not sure a telephone pole would hold up my bulge! Has anyone tried wearing 2 at a time? Not to sound stupid, how do you put 2 in? One on top of the other or side by side? I never used tampons when having my periods, so this is pretty new to me. I would love some added support once in awhile so I didn't feel the bulge with every step. Thanks for any help. Connie

MeMyselfAndI

February 25, 2009 - 10:24am

Some people on here have used 'sports tampons' (Not available in my country lol)
Others use the tampon sideways (like this ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||) and find that is acting as a shelf to hold things in - When i used to use one that is the way i used it - put one end in - push a little to one side then other end in - centralise - and then LIVE - Its all good

Good luck

Sometimes youre holding someone else's heart in your hands. You can drop that heart & bruise it. You can squash that heart & hurt it. Or you can stomp on it & totally annihalate it. You stomp on that heart or bruise it. It can forever be changed ♥

honeydew

February 25, 2009 - 10:37am

i'm glad to hear of your progress, bad_mirror, as you seem to be at a similar stage to me...
i'm still wearing my baby most of the time (in a high, front carry), but this morning i managed to carry him on my back in a mei tai for the first time (he's 11 weeks) -- he was happy, fell asleep, and i didn't feel my bulge as much!

bad_mirror

February 25, 2009 - 6:14pm

I'll be 16 weeks pp on Sunday, so yes, close in that time frame to you. Sounds like you got proactive sooner than I did. I was so paralyzed with fear and in denial! Getting out for a week really did me good. As has the DVD -- such a calm stance that makes me feel I can do almost anything! (Isn't that what most of the veterens on here keep saying? It's just so hard to apply hope to yourself when bogged down by bulge).

As for babywearing -- I've actually been doing that without aggravation for periods under an hour -- just can't do it for eight hours! I should start trying the back wearing though, thanks for reminding me of that possibility.

lovely rita

February 25, 2009 - 6:36pm

honeydew, how well do you find yourself able to stay in posture while using a front carry? I'm 5 weeks postpartum now, and have only worn my baby for 5 minutes here and there in the house, but would love to (soonish) be able to wear her for short outings as well.

How do you do a high front carry? I'm using a wrap.

granolamom

February 25, 2009 - 7:38pm

that's what I used in the beginning. wrapped the baby as high up as I could possibly get him, so his head was just under my chin.

Zelda

February 25, 2009 - 8:38pm

Good for you. I struggle with normalcy too - or striving for some sense of it anyways. Seeing myself as some kind of "cripple" is entirely more than I can deal with. Many days are full of pretending and perservering. I find that nothing quite challenges my Pop like walking on concrete sidewalks- even while maintaining the most gorgeous of posture.. I've also taken a closer look at my shoes and their affect. So far Birkenstocks, and oddly, cowboy boots give me the best results. I spent months avoiding the activities I thought would aggravate this condition until I got into such a state of deprivation that I became rebellious, resumed and relapsed and realized I had to find a conscious careful compromise. Every day I push my envelope. Two steps forward - one back. The theory being it's forward progress - no matter how slow, I'm not going to stop reaching. Keep reaching girl. It's so true - every day is a new day, and I savor those moments - those chunks of time when I'm not bulgy.
Zelda

louiseds

February 25, 2009 - 9:30pm

It is so easy to get into a negative head space about this. I think that is the hardest part of POP. We have so many tools at our disposal but when we are feeling sad about it, it is hard to pull them out and use them.

L

honeydew

February 26, 2009 - 9:18am

lovely rita, i have a didymos wrap -- there are some great web sites with instructions but i don't know that i'm allowed to link to them here... you'll find them if you do a google search (also lots of great youtube videos). i just make sure baby is as high as possible, facing in of course, and that the wrap is tight and well spread across my upper back to distribute the weight as evenly as possible. if he's high enough, i feel the center of gravity more in the back of my ribcage than in my lower abdomen. i try to remember to keep my shoulders back and my lower back curved, and this seems to work, mostly. i carry him for 1-hour stretches like this (at the grocery store, walking to school with my other children, the park, etc.).

yesterday i wore him for about 3 hours total, and to be honest i did feel a substantial bulge at the end of the day (he's 15lbs now). so i plan to carry him on my back as much as possible from now on.

louiseds

February 26, 2009 - 8:34pm

My youngest of three babies is now nearly 22. I wore them all, way before I knew about WW posture. Since then I have used a very good quality rucksack as a handbag, so I can stuff compact, heavy stuff in it when shopping, and have two hands to walk in a balanced way.

When walking distances I have found that wearing it low on the front is better for my POPs than high on the front, cos then the bump impersonates a pregnant belly, a natural form of loading for the female body. Wearing it on the front keeps my shoulders back and down, for balance.

Wearing it high on the back makes me hunch my upper back a bit and allows my spine to straighten. I think they are designed for the male body, with its upper body strength. That's where the hip belt somes in. By loosening/lengthening the shoulder straps and fastening the hip belt lower than my waist I am transferring most of the load onto my pelvis, which is much closer to my centre of gravity.

Think about how much easier it is to carry a fouryear old on your back, piggy back style, with them sitting on your pelvis/lower spine, than it is to carry them higher than the waist on your front.This is not saying anybody is wrong. Just try out different ways of carrying, perhaps with a sack of potatoes/grain of similar weight to baby (!), and observe the effects on different parts of your body.

CAUTION! If you do decide to carry baby lower on your back, ensure that s/he doesn't flap around from side to side too much. It is too easy when walking through a narrow doorway, then turning sharply, to allow them to collide with the door jamb (Ouch!). My meh tais had do be used with care with a low back carry because they lacked lateral stability. More substantial slings would probably have a strap around your waist which woule stabilise the baby sideways.

Louise

bad_mirror

February 26, 2009 - 9:14pm

Louise -- It's pleasing to hear your thoughts on the low front carry! I actually find this very easy on my body, too. I use a Snugli carrier that was made in 1977 (was mine as a babe) and it is built exactly like a soft fabric backpack that the baby rides in (looks nothing like the Snugli sold today). It sits low in front, just as you describe wearing your rucksack. I feel like I have the exact same form as when pregnant! I can rub his little butt the same way I would rub the base of my pregnant belly. Even before I knew how to protect POP, this carrier gave me no aggravation! Now I see why . . .

granolamom

February 27, 2009 - 2:16pm

much of it probably depends on your body type and how you normally carry yourself. so yeah, try everything and use what works. for me, high back carry was best. I found that long straps enabled me provide adequate lateral stability. I'd just wrap them around the baby's middle before tying (so they'd go over my shoulders, under my shoulders, under baby's legs around my waist, around baby's middle and back around me and then tie. or google 'lexi twist' because that helped spread baby's weight well for me too.

low front carry always got me hunched over, but high up just felt like I had bigger boobs and I was easily balanced by keeping my shoulders down and head high. so whatever works for you, works for you.

check out thebabywearer.com. they have forums on all types of babywearing, videos and tips. and an addictive fsot forum too. don't say I didn't warn you.