Hello - new here and a strange celebration

Body: 

I haven't been lurking that long as I've only just been properly diagnosed with a 'mild' (whatever that means) cystocele. I too am experiencing the roller coaster ride that such a diagnosis entails and my dives are swift and severe. But. I am trying hard to make the most of this situation. It feels somewhat contrived at the moment but hopefully it will feel more instinctive and natural to be making positive changes to my lifestyle son.

Anyway, why I am really writing today is to share the most important, positive change that has come from this diagnosis and that is my very much deepening relationship with my two young boys. This has made me stop and really evaluate the important things in my life and because my proplapse is birth based, I have had to confront head on the fact that had my boys not been born, I may not have developed this condition. However, every time that thought enters my head the rush of love for them both is so intense that it forcefully removes any impending regret.

I play with them more now. I get down on their level more and we hug and kiss a thousand times more than we did (and we've always been very affectionate with each other). I am focussing less in my life on my own individual more selfish needs regarding life satisfaction and spending more time thinking about how I could make their life as good as possible. I'm less impatient with them and am far more giving with my time and energy.

I truly believe that this would not have happened had I not developed the prolapse. I am so thankful that they are in my life and they make every symptom-filled day as joyous as it could be. Yes, this sucks and I'll be posting elsewhere for help to try and improve my quality of life. But, I just think it's strange what stops life pulls out for you. My relationship with my boys will be better off and I feel so much happier on this emotional level despite my grief and disappointment with loss of a fully functioning body (at the moment, I hope this changes:).

I just wanted to share this strange celebration.

Cheers
fc12

Hi fc12

Your post resonates with me somewhat. I don't think it is strange at all. Many people who have had serious illnesses, traumas and injuries (much worse than POP) talk about the way their setbacks, which are often life-threatening, have focussed their lives on what is really important to them.

Childbirth is one of life's major experiences, which marks us for our whole lives, and we are reminded of it by the presence of our children; also our POPs. Fortunate are the women who never acquire POPs from vaginal birth. I am sure they bear other scars that have come from bad things that have happened in their lives. What beige lives must be led by people who never look tragedy in the face!

Giving thanks for all of life's experiences is really important, and helps us to deal with all the negative things that happen.

Hope your positive approach and your recovery continues. POP is indeed a whole body condition, affecting the body, the mind, the spirit. You have indeed found the silver lining.

((Hugs))

Louise

yeah, isn't it weird when life happens like that? when what you think is the most awful thing in the world actually brings some hidden blessings along with it?
my prolapse also had a huge impact on my relationship with my kids. it taught me to slow down and prioritize my health - two things I really needed to learn to do. and my kids have only benefitted. so weird 'cuz initially all I kept thinking was how awfully sad it would be for my kids to have a mom who can't keep up with them. turns out they needed a mom to slow down and enjoy life with them.
I'm real happy for you that you're able to find prolapse's blessings for you. I hope that this is the worst challenge we ever face, and that if we have to face any others in the future, we find our blessings there as well.
I think your grief and disappointment will begin to fade in time. hang in there.