5 months post partum

Submitted by bad_mirror on March 29, 2009 - 6:01pm
Body: 

So I'm now 20 weeks post partum, and will give a little update.

Whew.
Deep breath.
I almost don't want to write this because of the jinx factor (turns in a circle three times, hops on one leg, salt over the shoulder, a few Hail Marys . . .)

I have had an amazing week! (There, I said it cyber-out-loud, so I'm prepared to have a less than nice day tomorrow . . .) I've been doing pretty well, but nothing dramatic since I started living in the feminine form I was meant to use about seven weeks ago. A handful of not-too-bad days, plenty of so-so days, and probably about three bona fide awful ones. In fact Friday before last, I had a day where it looked exactly where I started -- so depressing. But then the next day was the best ever! And it has continued (knocks on wood). I cannot see any bulge from the outside at all about 90% of the time. The other 10% is but a smidgen, and I whistle a few bars from High Noon and Nauli that sucker back into submission. I almost can't believe it. I have not gone "looking" for my cystocele internally yet . . . I'll probably wait another few weeks . . . and I know it's not gone . . . yet . . . but I am just elated.

My confidence has grown a lot, and I'm now taking really long stroller walks with tons of uphill time and no sponge or tampon. I'm feeling soooo much stronger physically and mentally. I can't wait to see what the next 20 weeks hold. And I'm so very grateful for this ww way.

One last thing . . . can someone explain the concept of baseline? At what point should I consider what my baseline is?

granolamom

March 29, 2009 - 7:58pm

that's fabulous news!
I'm so happy for you that things are beginning to look up, I think you will continue to see improvements as this first year goes on, and then even beyond that too.

baseline, for me, means what it looks and feels like most of the time. whenever its worse, that's a bad day. whenever its better, that's a good day.
of course, over time, baseline can change. my new baseline is so much better than my good days were when I first got here. even my bad days now are better than my good days were back then.
you can determine your baseline whenever you want to. you can either call today baseline, or you can say hey, let me wait a bit until I'm a year pp and then call that baseline.

having a baseline is useful in figuring out what aggravates and helps your prolapse. for me its also useful in knowing when I'm ovulating and about to begin menstruating (always bad days then). its also useful in keeping me calm during the bad days, I just focus on getting 'back to baseline' rather than 'getting rid of the prolapse'. its something attainable, a familiar place that isn't as scary as thinking what if this never gets better. I know I can always get things at least as good as baseline.

I hope you continue to have so many great days that you are constantly recalibrating your baseline.
keep us updated!

louiseds

March 29, 2009 - 8:55pm

YYYYYEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!! (punches air, nearly grazing knuckles on wall)

Wonderful news. Tick off the setbacks as they happen and just keep moving forwards. We all have bad days, even now.

Cheers

Louise

lovely rita

March 29, 2009 - 9:09pm

I'm so glad to "hear" the optimism in your post. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope very much to have that sense in another 10-11 weeks when I'm at that point postpartum.

Thanks granolamom for your thoughts on baseline, too. It makes sense to figure out a way to keep track of things aside from wanting-it-gone-NOW!

davemayamom

March 30, 2009 - 8:45am

That is wonderful news! I'm so happy for you and very inspired! I"m finding the posture + exercises + breathing is helping too! I have a few questions for you if you don't mind me asking (I'm 9 weeks pp, but have had this longer as I developed it around 17 weeks in my pregnancy):

1) How bad was your prolapse when you discovered it? Could you feel it, or just see it?
2) Can you feel it now?
3) How much time do you spend exercising, and doing the breathing exercises in a day?

Just to let you know, I think mine is primarily a urethral prolapse. I can't feel my bladder, but just my urethra and a bit of my anterior wall bulging. It is slowly improving, and I think it is just at the opening now (I'm sure it was protruding past the opening during my pregnancy and immediately pp). I try to stay in posture all the time, and I think I can feel some forward migration of my pelvic organs (at least that is what I keep telling myself). I've had a few moments where I can't feel it, and I remember what it is like to be "normal" again....this always gives me hope. I've been checking it regularly with a mirror now, I'm no longer afraid, but must stop obsessing. I must say, my body feels much better in posture, and the belly breathing is leaving me more energized. I keep telling myself that in the end I will be healthier because of this: improved posture, decreased chance of osteoporosis and arthritis, and improved strength and body image!............Thanks Christine and all you other "Wholewomen" who have given me support, advice and hope!!!!

davemayamom

March 30, 2009 - 2:08pm

I meant to add this to my post earlier on. My daughter, who is quite content during the day, is now fussing in the early evening hours. Sitting on the floor and rocking her used to be enough, but now she wants me moving on my feet! If this had happened earlier, I know my prolapse would not have stood for it. Now I am able to do this with less discomfort, and I take the opportunity to do plies, 1/2 moons etc. in good posture. That way I feel I"m helping both of us!

bad_mirror

March 30, 2009 - 6:27pm

Am quite good again today, despite my post and doing some "adventurous" things like baby-wearing to the grocery and hardware store and packing (but not lifting!) boxes to move.

Thanks for the baseline tutorial, Granolamom. I think I will wait till my little guy's one-year to "set" my baseline. Thanks to others for the cheers, as well.

Davemayamom -- I'll see if I can answer the questions . . .

1) I have no idea how bad my cystocele was/is according to the numbers. My midwife said she felt nothing. My doc said "I see a little bit of your bladder, do kegels," and charged me $300. The PT I saw just looked at my open legs and said, "Wow. I can see your bladder." So I got the gamut of none-some-lots. All I know is that at 5 weeks pp, it was enough to make me say, what the F*** is that???!!!! I could see it, but it never went past the introitus. It felt/feels like half of a tube up the front wall. Except for some feelings of tiredness at the end of the day, the visual is my biggest symptom.

2) As for feeling. . . sometimes I get a sensation that I need to pass air from there (but only on the worst of days) so then I know it's pretty droopy. Otherwise, no.

3) I walk about an hour a day (free and I can take the baby with me) along with household chores. I do the DVD every other day in addition to this, and sneak in planks, downward dogs and some other things throughout the day. I Nauli about 8 breaths every morning and evening, and throughout the day as needed. All this is pretty recent, though. At 9 weeks pp, I only walked very short distances, and I've only mastered Nauli in the last two weeks. Don't underestimate the value of good rest (sans C-shaped spine) in your healing routine.

Best wishes, and hope you are posting here at 20 weeks so that others can benefit!

louiseds

March 30, 2009 - 9:24pm

Hi Badmirror

Re air in the vagina, it might be that there is a big bubble of air in the spot where your uterus/bladder should be, which is trying to push your organs out. Try bending forward deeply from the hips with legs apart, do some jiggles to shake your organs back higher and forward. If you feel more air going in, that is good. It just means that you have created a vacuum in there from your organs moving back in deeper. Now bear down slightly to expel the air, which hopefully is now in the vagina, instead of deeper in the pelvic cavity. When you think most of the air has come out, but organs are still well inside unfurl yourself like a fern leaf, with arms stretched over your head and your lower belly relaxed, into WW posture. You might feel a tiny bit more air coming out at the end. Your organs should now be well inside you, held there by posture alone.

Cheers

L