Carrying Baby

I'm 10 weeks pp too and I feel the same pain. Hopefully some more experienced moms will step in here, but here is what I do. I carry the car seat with my elbow behind my shoulder in posture. To lift car seat from base, I stick my butt out, keep back straight, kegel, and keep feet rotated outwards. I have a lower vehicle, so I don't lift my son, but, could you keep a stool in your truck for your 3 year old to climb up with? I know my sister used that with her elderly friend. I'm sad too about not being able to baby wear all the time. I DO go on walks with my daughter in a "new native" sling. It holds her up high, so it is easier to stay in posture. When carrying in arms around the house, I just try to stay in posture. .....I know how frustrating it is to just want to be mommy and move like you used to! I HATE having to put my baby down because my crotch can't handle it!!!!!!

hi there
I'm also 10weeks pp - something in the air...?, with a v symptomatic rectocele in addition to a lovely second daughter.

I'm a newbie to posting on this site too, though I've been reading the forums for the past 8 weeks for some much needed advice and encouragement - there's some stuff on carrying babies in old forums you might find useful.

I bought an 'Ergobaby' carrier when my latest was was a week or so old, because I had an outstanding neck problem from lugging my first around, and someone recommended it to me as really good for any muscloskeletal problems. Then the rectocele struck, so I haven't tried it out yet for fear of making it worse (though not sure pushing a buggy is much better for that). I've seen the ergobaby referred to in some of the forums here, but with mixed feedback.

I'm seeing my PT next week and plan to take the ergobaby thing with me to ask her advice. I'll report back if there's anything useful.
Other advice I've been given: she already told me that it's good to contract your pelvic floor when you pick up any weight (as davemayamom says), and to hold your child as close to your body/torso as possible when lifting up, because things 'weigh' 10x more when held at arms length as they do when held close to the body.
When I had the neck problem with my first child, another PT told me that when lifting the baby out of buggies, high chairs etc it's better to do it from behind rather than from the front.

hope you're both finding the rest of this prolapse business ok. i have to say, I'm finding it so painful to deal with with alongside a new addition to the family and I hate how it's distracting me so much from my wonderful little girl (and my wonderful older girl, not to mention my beleaguered husband). I'm alternating between the depths of despair and 'I can live with this' depending on the symptoms that day/hour. Hard to talk to husband about it too as the symptoms are so gross, and I would like to think that in some distant future we can resume our sex life: discussing the challenges of evacuating bowels and stool consistency might not help with this!!! I'm trying not to get too excited about the prospect of significant improvement over the next year of postpartum recovery, in case it doesn't happen. no signs of improvement so far anyway.

take good care of yourselves
Mumtogirls London

my home is also across split levels with lots of stairs, and something else I found useful when I had the neck problem was going downstairs on my bottom, while holding my baby close in front of me, facing away from me(arms round her midriff). Although it takes a lot longer (obviously!) i found it better than straining.
my daughter and I called it "bumpety-bump" and she thought it was a great game as she got bigger. warning - it's much easier going down than up!

maybe worth trying? esp if you can keep the posture going.

I'm sure you're already doing things so you have to make fewer stair trips, like keeping a set of babychanging equipment on each level. I had to do a lot of this stuff with the musculoskeletal probs last time, so I'm hoping they'll stand me in good stead with the rectocele this time as little one grows.

Mumtogirls London

Hi mom2boys
Really interesting to hear how you're getting on with the PT. I've only had one session with the PT so far and that was for lifestyle advice - next week will be my first proper physical session with her. I'm mainly going to her because I want some advice - what I can do and what I should never do etc though I'm hoping she can help with exercise too.

I was referred to her by the gynae consultant (surgeon) I first saw. In the UK we generally find our allied health professionals - like physios and nurses - to be more empathetic, holistic and generally less 'slice and dice' focussed than our docs and surgeons, but I found this particular PT to be much more fatalistic about surgery than the gynae. Her basic message - and the last thing I wanted/needed to hear last week - was 'you won't get better without surgery and it's just a matter of time before you go for it'. so I'm not sure I'm going to stick with her long, even though she seems to know her stuff in terms of the physiological aspects. I feel I need someone who has some faith that I can help myself as a first resort.

i'll let you know if she has anything useful advice to offer to the new post-partum cele sufferer

PS thanks for the message of hope on the sex front. I think I might have to give it a go before it becomes a thing of great fear!!

good luck too with your recovery - hope we can keep each other encouraged on the journey!

Mumtogirls London

Hi guys! I just thought I'd let you know that I will also be going to a P.T who specializes in pelvic floor. I can't say I hold out much hope, just going for interest sake. I'm actually a P.T. myself (I'm embarrassed to say this on this website). I work mostly with children with neuromuscular disorders. From what I remember of my schooling, Kegal, kegal, kegal was the way.....What turned me on to this website was all the research and evidence Christine has presented. Also, a well know P.T. who specializes in pelvic floor, Dianne Lee, supports her work. That was enough for me! I developed my condition during pregnancy, so I've been reading up on this for a while. I'm getting impatient with the healing because I was hoping it would be over after the birth (though I knew better)......Anyway, I know it is early for us all. I am noticing a difference with the exercises and breathing. I'm hoping I can be like g-mom, kiki, or alemama after one year......Anyway, I think we should all be patient (very hard I know) and give it time. I'll share what I learn from my P.T. appointment in May.....Let me emphasize that I think the exercises, posture, and breathing are very important!......................Also, I thought I'd mention, I ran into an older friend on a walk and told her about my problems with my cystocele etc. She proceeded to tell me about a difficult birth with her second child that ended with a prolapsed uterus and bladder. She had a hysterectomy and 2 bladder "repairs" because of this. She then told me she was on a new medication for urge incontinence. She also told me that I'd likely have to have the surgery. I didn't say anything, but all I could think was "no thanks", don't want to go down that road.......My stepmother's neighbour had a hysterectomy, and a has since suffered from all three prolapses: vagina, rectum, bladder. She had surgery in December to "fix" them, and is still in severe pain. Again, if I can avoid that road I will!.......Let's try to be patient - I know it is hard and I'm not, but let's try!

hey, I'm a PT too. I also worked mostly in pediatrics, but we had a very mixed population, preemie through 21, ortho, cardiac, neuro, you name it.

anyway, I still do not know what traditional PT has to offer for prolapse aside from kegels and e-stim. no one ever answers me when I ask what their PT's are doing for POP. I'm very much looking forward to hearing about your visit with a PT!

re: kegels while you lift, its more important to TILT YOUR PELVIS before you lift. get your pelvic organs nestled in the round of your belly, over/forward of the pubic bone for lifting. this automatically tightens the pelvic "floor" (which we know isn't a floor, but that's another discussion) and keeps your uterus and bladder from being pushed down the vaginal canal from the increased forces of lifting. the entire GYN paradigm is inaccurate. it is not about squeezing to keep it in, its about positioning to keep forward.
not only that, but 'posture' as I learned it in school, is not the same 'posture' that's advocated by christine. and let me tell you, I prefer christine's way! because it actually feels better once you get the hang of it, and it actually works.

re: babywearing, by the time I had another baby to wear, I had already been dealing with prolapse for a few years, so I already got the hang of knowing how to best work with the posture. in a nutshell though, I foudn that wearing the baby very high was most comfortable. either in a wrap in a front carry, or in a Mei Tai for a high back carry. if I wore him too long, I'd feel it, but I was always able to get back to baseline by the end of the next day.
lifting carseats was always hard for me, so I dont'. I stopped taking the seat out of the car, my babies never sleep anyway. lifting three year olds is challenging too, see if you can't give her a boost so she can climb up herself.

No bum in or under . . . relax your lower tummy and the tail bone will lift. The tilting forward is of the top of the pelvis (hip bones), not the base (pubic bones). (Am I right ladies??) I imagine I'm Kim Kardashian or Beyonce in a pencil skirt -- not pushing anything out per se, but letting my curves be known (at least as much as a skinny white girl can, lol!) I didn't find that the book explained the posture well, either (though amazing for other information). The DVD explains it VERY well, as do the pictures on the FAQ's, and this link to "goatgirl"

http://www.wholewoman.com/picture_library/goatgirl.jpg

Again, anyone out there please correct me if I'm wrong . . .

is NOT tucking the bum! that's tilting it backwards.
put your hands on your hips like you're mad at your toddler. your fingers are likely to be resting on a bone. thats the front/top of your pelvis. your thumbs are resting on the back part of your hip, pointing downward. they are on the back part of your pelvis, the sacrum. chances are that when you do this, your fingers and your thumbs are level to the ground. now, keeping your fingers on the pelvis as they are, tip your pelvis so that your fingers are lower to the ground than your thumbs. voila, nutation aka anterior pelvic tilt.
5 yo is crying.
I'll be gone for a few days celebrating passover, but will try to get back after for a better description if someone else doesn't before then

Hi mums (and others!)
Thanks for the positive thoughts.
Davemayamom, I don't think you should feel embarrassed *at all* about being a PT. In my experience, PTs are often some of the best health professionals, certainly in the NHS over here. Before I had my kids I worked for an NGO which worked with people with arthritis and the various health professionals who treated them, and I have to say the PTs were among the most holistic, open-minded, patient-centred people I worked with.

I guess the thing about PTs who specialise in women's health - like the one I'm seeing (with some scepticism!- is that the medical profession in general doesn't seem to know very much about managing these problems. And PTs often work under surgeons/clinicians, whose thinking and beliefs about how best to manage prolapse (ie surgically) perhaps influences them more than it should. (I also wonder if the fact that this is a 'women's issue', particularly an older women's issue, means that there's very little money going into research to help the medical profession improve its understanding).

I can't believe how little information there is out there for women living with this. Thank goodness for this site.

Keep me posted if you hear anything of interest from your PT won't you. I'll do the same

Best wishes to you all and your little ones

Mumtogirls London

I'll keep everyone posted regarding my appointment. It is not til' May 13th! I could have booked for earlier, but I felt the "wholewoman" work was benefitting me more. I referred the P.T. I will be seeing to this website. I live in Ontario, Canada, and the closest pelvic floor P.T. to us is 2 hours away. Not very convienient for elderly women or new moms - or anyone for that matter! As I said, I'm really going just for interest sake. It is a field I may want to get into if I can rehabilitate myself! There really isn't enough education/awareness on this issue.

As for the posture, what alemama and granolamom are saying is spot on! You want your bum sticking out, not tucked in! Pull up at the crown of your head and stand tall!

Granolamom - nice to know I'm not the only P.T. here! I felt really silly when I first came to this site - I had no idea that kegals and traditional P.T. were sooo ineffective! This is a wonderful, supportive website. Don't know what I would do without it!

I totally agree about PTs in general...I’ve had marvelous care from them for musculoskeletal issues in the past. And I think the world of Diane Lee, who is truly a leader in her field. However, I’m trying to sound the drums that the particular PT specialty of women’s pelvic health is barbaric (hopefully you all read my most recent blog post.) You are right, Mum, that PT is informed by gynecology in these matters and gynecology Never got it right! I have said in the past that the system is very mechanistic, and like a machine cannot grow, change and evolve. PT does not want to let go of their model of individualizing treatment and instead adopting the framework that all women have the same pelvic organ support system. It is understandable that PTs and gynecologists do not wish to become herbalists and midwives and posture trainers...but still it does not make it right that somehow they can’t get past outdated and unhelpful models of anatomy and physiotherapy.

i'm coming in this rather late as we are traveling but...
mum2boys i agree with gmom--i lifted the car seat once and it was not good, never did it again. i also used a wrap sling, up high and tight and was able to carry as a result. but most others didn't work for me. re carrying around the house, i just had to do it, but learned to really accentuate the posture till i got stronger.

i don't lift anything heavy at all other than my little one, but as he gets bigger what i can lift has gotten heavier which is great.

10 weeks is so early. i don't think i really even started seeing improvement till at least 4 months and even then it was slow. don't give up yet. i'm 2 years on and still finding improvement. the first few months i had no idea how i'd live this way. now i am able to do most things i want.

so hang in there and take it easy.
kiki