new case and deeply discouraged

Body: 

Hi all,

Thank you, thank you for this site! Sorry for this long post, but I'm just needing to get it all off my chest.

I have just been diagnosed today with a mild to moderate cystocele. I have two children - one three year old and one 6 1/2 month old. I can't remember when I started feeling this "rough" tissue mass in my vagina - either after my first child or the second one. Anyway, I thought it was just part of how things felt "down there" after childbirth. LOL. It wasn't until the other day in the shower when I felt it a bit more washing that I thought it might not be normal. I immediately thought of one of our childhood farm cats who had a prolapse (not that mine was anywhere close to it.)

Anyway, I started doing some research on the web, and was pretty sure I had a prolapse of some sort. I have no other symtoms than this slight bulge at or near my vaginal opening.

I am SOOOO depressed and discouraged right now. I was up until now an extremely active person - running 5K's, kickboxing at the gym, and weightlifting aerobics classes. To me, if I wasn't sweating, I wasn't working out! That's just who I am. My doctor was very on the fence about running. She didn't want me to make major lifestyle changes, just no heavy lifting. I don't feel I can safely run anymore. I just don't want to risk making this worse. My mom has incontinence badly, but has never mentioned a bulge. I'm sure it's heriditary as well.

I'm at a loss at what I can do. :( I did a search on this site and found that some people are doing different exercises with modifications. Since my last childbirth was only 6 months ago, could this prolapse go away? I guess I should order Christine's book. I just wanted to post as you all seem so encouraging, and I just need a little lift from someone who understands.

Hi NTM

Your reaction is quite normal, believe me. ((Hugs)) Follow the stories of some of our Members on these Forums and you will see that there is life, and exercise, after POP. You just have to get to know your body in a slightly different way to make it work. You never know how normal your life can be until you give it a try.

Some settling after pregnancy and birth is quite normal, even if you have a CS. There has been a lot of stretching and growing going on in your belly during pregnancy, and that is not going to revert maximally for at least 12 months pp. Then the reversion slows down, and continues for a few years after that. You are still postpartum, so don't draw any conclusions for another 6 months. I think it is unprofessional that doctors will happily diagnose POP postpartum without the rider that it will improve greatly all by itself over the following year.

In the meantime, order the book. Then you will have all the theory to make the Wholewoman techniques work, and by following the guidelines on posture, diet, exercise and how you go about your life, you will be able to avoid doing any more damage until your body has done its pp healing. After that it is up to you to look after your body as well as you can and get on with living. I am sure you will experience improvements for a long time yet.

There are also some intro clips fronm the DVD on YouTube.

Cheers

Louise

I only realised years and years after the event that the symptoms after the birth of my first child was a prolapse, symptoms didn't last long, returned again somewhat during the pregnancy with my second one, improved, then started in earnest 8 years later. What I realise now is 2 things: (1) the body is always doing its best to heal itself and this can be quite a long ongoing process after giving birth, so you're bound to improve from here (2) if I'd known then what I know now (Christine's book, DVD, all the fantastic practical advice on this site) it would probably never have got as bad as it did, maybe healed completely. So, everything Louise says is spot on. The advice that I wish I'd had then would have been (pretending that this site existed then, or for that matter, the internet as we know it now!): get the book, start the posture and exercises, eat the foods that your body needs to rebuild healthy tissue etc etc, enjoy your lovely young children, don't get stuck in worrying that the present is bad, just know that, thanks to this site, you're in a wonderful position to boost and accelerate your body's natural drive to heal itself in this very dynamic post-partum period. In other words, do all the stuff and forget about the symptoms, let the prolapse take care of itself in its own good time. Oh, and cut yourself some slack on the more difficult days when you may temporarily feel less upbeat. Judith xxx

Thanks for the posts, ladies. I was having a low point last night as my doctor's appt. was late afternoon. The news just made me want to stress eat lots of chocolate and sweet stuff, but then I decided that wasn't a good idea because then I didn't feel like I could just go for a nice run the next day to compensate. LOL.

I guess I just hate the helpless feeling I have - the not knowing of what activities could or could not hurt me. It seems like a great big crapshoot in a way. I'm a very black and white person - these gray areas really bother me. I wanted my doctor to tell me what I could or could not do. All I really got was "Do your Kegels and don't lift your heaviest child all day."

I can't wait to get the book. I think that would be a great start.

Hope you all have a wonderful day!

Dear northtexasmommy
I know what you mean about the black and white as opposed to grey thing, I think I used to be much more like that than I am now (hope that doesn't sound patronising). The thing is, your doctor can't really know, you'll find out for yourself what you can and can't do and it will change over time anyway. Take heart from the fact that Christine is older than you and can now go running and that many of the other members also do quite strenuous activity. Some people obviously get immediate feedback when they're doing too much for their POPs to cope, I unfortunately don't - I can feel fine at the time and then minutes or hours later I feel it. So I tend to play safe. I suggest a plan for you, a sequence of events. First of all, take it relatively easy right now, get the books, start the posture and exercises, when you feel that you're getting the hang of things, start experimenting gently with the things you want to do and see how it goes. In the meantime, you could also experiment with substituting different activities for the things you normally do eg brisk walking or swimming instead of runnning, just for the time being. I think that the most important thing is to adapt when you have to and not regard yourself as having lost anything. I really know how devastating the diagnosis and symptoms are, we all do here, and I think it's important to allow yourself to feel those feelings. But also hold on to the knowledge that there is light at the end of the tunnel, it doesn't have to rule your life, just be something that you learn to live with and work around and your prognosis is probably good - young and post partum, able to benefit from the timely application of everything that this site has to offer.
Also, when you kegel, pay attention to the feedback from your body. If it feels worse, either stop or look at Christine's blog on how to do them properly. They'll help if your PF really does need toning, especially with urinary incontinence, but, as Christine makes clear, as far as dealing with the cause of POP is concerned, they're irrelevant. Judith xx

hi there and welcome to the site

I haven't had a chance to read through all of the responses, so I'm probably going to be somewhat redundant.

first know that finding out you have a prolapse is traumatic (not the prolapse itself, but the realization). this is a loss, and the feelings you describe are so common here. but grief is a process and in time you will not feel as discouraged and/or depressed because 1- you will have had time to work it through in your mind but more importantly 2- you will see that this is something you can take control of relatively easily.

get the book. start reading as much as you can here about the posture. you are still soon after childbirth, I have found so much healing taking place up to and even beyond the first year.

I hear your frustration with the vague guidance (if you can call it that) given to you by your dr. but you will see that there is a lot of black and white here. I personally am back to all my pre-prolapse activities (ok, granted I never was as athletic as many of the members here, yourself included) but its my knees that prevent my running, not my cystocele. the key is keeping your organs well situated by means of adapting the posture. and many of us still choose to do things that will temporarily aggravate the prolapse because joy in life is important and we know that we can bring the prolapse back to baseline within a few days with a few extra exercises.

the book describes some good exercises, the video is probably better if you're a more visual learner, and also search the site for nauli.

the good news in your story is that you found this bulge now, while it is still otherwise asymptomatic. I think there is good reason to believe that with this work you can at the very least, stabilize it so that it never gets any worse.

Okay, you ladies are awesome!!! I am feeling better about things already. I'm really trying to put it all into perspective. I'll see you on here again soon. I'm going to go rest now that the kids are down!

Take a deep breath, you are on the right place.

I am 7.5 months pp and started the postural work 2 months ago, and already started to see/feel changes. I also have a mild (?) cystocele and a smallish rectocele and a sometimes low, sometimes high cervix.

I see your condition is quite mild, give yourself some time (a year at least), good nutrition, rest and bodywork, I am sure you will get better! A lot better. This is the hope for myself too!

Hang in there,
Liv

I know how north texas mommy feels. As I was in the Dr's office on yesterday, the first thing they throw at you is "we can schedule your surgery..blah,blah,blah. They don't even give you time to digest what is being said about your body. I told him last year at my annual that I felt sort of a "bump". He did say that my cervix was kind of to the side. Early last year I had an open myomectomy to remove fibroids. I kind of feel like it's the way they "put me back together" is why I'm now having this prolapse problem now. So jump to yesterday and he is referring me to one of his collegues in the office for a "consultation" in early July. He is recommending a vaginal hysterectomy. I'm 44, with no children. I'm not sure if I really want any, but it's nice knowing I still have a chance. Anyway, sorry to rant, but I have mixed feelings about all of this right now. I know no one can make you do anything you don't want to do. I ordered the DVD today, so we shall see.