Pain with sex

Submitted by Becca on March 2, 2005 - 1:59am
Body: 

I have been dealing with a cystocele for three years now. I have considerable pain with sex. I find that much like giving birth though, After enough time you do forget how bad the pain is. That's probably the only thing that has saved my thirteen year marriage this past three years. Does anyone else have this problem and if so is there anyway to relieve it? I can deal with all the other symptoms but I am still a young woman of 33 and I just cannot face the next forty or fifty years celibate. I am on the verge of having surgery for this reason alone. I eat well, exercize, and have been following the postures and lifestyle changes in Christine's book for about 11 months now and this is still a persistant problem. Thank you all for listening and I do appreciate any solutions.

Thanks again,
Becca

Christine

March 2, 2005 - 7:41am

Welcome, Becca...

Can you describe the pain? Where does it hurt and in what positions?

Becca

March 2, 2005 - 10:13am

Well it hurts where the bladder is bulging into the vagina. Its tender to touched even and in the evenings when the bladder starts to come down more, it hurts even to wipe after urinating. But during intercourse it just feels like rubbing a raw wound. I have been to the doctor more times than I can count and there is no wound or abcess or any reason I can find for the pain. My doctor says the vaginal skin is just really thin exposing the bladder to constant trauma and its only going to get worse until I have it repaired. I have since seen seven different doctors all who have different opinions on what kind of defect it is or what kind of repair is neccesary but all agree on repair of some kind. I am trying to avoid this but after struggling with this so long with no relief, It is really starting to wear down my defenses. Thank you for listening to me, This is a really difficult thing to talk about and being able to do it here anonomously makes it so much easier. If anyone else has this problem or has any Idea how to help I am listening.

Thanks again,
Becca

Christine

March 2, 2005 - 12:43pm

Dear Becca,

I

Becca

March 2, 2005 - 8:54pm

Hi Christine,

Thank you, I will try this.

I had a c-section because after a very long labor, (22 hours) they discovered my pelvic bone structure is malformed even flat and vaginal birth was impossible. I noticed the cystocele within days of c-section but I did not know what it was. I had to keep getting catheterized to urinate. And that was the start of what was to become a three year nightmare. My first sexual experience after birth was a shock. I did not expect such pain since I had a c-section. But when I sought some kind of explanation from my doctor, I was told probably vaginismus. I was furious when I found out what vaginismus is. I'm sure for the women who suffer with this it is a real problem but for me it was a slap in the face, as if he was just saying it was all in my head. I have battled ever since just to get a serious evaluation. It's my belief that some support structure or nerves were cut at time of c-section and it caused an immediate prolapse. I am still completely numb from my naval to pubic.

Thank you again for all your advice. I'm already a juicer so I will try your suggestions, though I will have to admit after three years already another year of celibacy seems pretty hard to face. especially since this is putting such a strain on my marriage already.
I'm just so thankfull I have such an understanding and compassionate husband.

I'm going to try the exercize with the arms. sure sounds easy enough and I'm all for simple and effective solutions.

once again,
thank you.
Becca

Christine

March 3, 2005 - 7:26am

Dear Becca,

Yes, it sounds like you

aaaforme

March 29, 2007 - 10:03pm

I am having a very similar problem. I just described to my husband that it feels like I have a raw pain in my vagina when we have sex. This is only the third time we have tried since the birth of my third child,10 weeks ago. The other two times were also painful. I think I have a prolapse of some sort although I don't have major symptoms other than pain during sex. I have looked at myself and thought I must have a major prolapse but when I went to my ob she said it was minor and most women after delivering several children look that way. I am sooo discouranged and worried about this pain and hope it can go away. I bought Christines book and didn't notice the juicing ideas. I will have to look again. Is it best to wait on intercourse and hope it will heal in time? Is using an eliptical okay? The best way to describe my pain is a raw pain that is irritated with the pressure of the penis rubbing. When I put my finger in, it almost seems like it is hard in that area.Does anyone have any encouraging ideas or similar situations that have worked out? I will continue to pray it heals.Sandy

alemama

March 30, 2007 - 1:43pm

Is the pain in a place you might have scar tissue?
I had some pretty painful scar tissue after my first birth. it kinda burned with pressure.

louiseds

April 4, 2007 - 10:08pm

Hi Becca

Have a look at this site, which is an organisation based in Western Australia. We take our vulvas and vaginas very seriously here, LOL! Gynaecological Awareness Information Network .

There is a great fact sheet about vulval pain with lots of tips for dealing with it, and descriptions of the different causes.

I have suffered pain with sex and just during the day for periods of weeks at a time, and have managed to overcome it. I think for me it was caused by several factors, including thrush, urinary tract infections and maybe other organisms, dry perimenopausal vagina, short foreplay (a major factor) and lots of penetrative sex, also prolapses - urine leakage causing burn, short pubic hair allowing friction, use of water-based lubricant leaving the area soggy. You name it - vulvas and vaginas are quite easy to upset!

I overcame it with measures to address all the factors eventually, but it did take some weeks to go to a point where I realised I no longer had it. Now I find that if it develops at all I treat it the same way, and my vulva is back to its happy little self within a few days. Lots of sex is not a problem now.

By the way, vulvodynia is the technical term for vulval pain (which may seem to be vaginal pain). Try googling it, but have a look at the above website first. Good luck.

Cheers

Louise

howdidthishappen

April 5, 2007 - 6:09am

hey louise!

first of all, like many of us, you have been missed here. so glad you're back.

second of all, i'm interested in know some specifics that you used to help yourself. for example, i seem to be going through a bit of urine leaking myself these days and i'm wondering if that can lead to burning in the vulva. did you use a salve or anything to protect/soothe/nourish the skin? also would LOVE to know what you use for lube instead of water-based product. i'm thinking i'm going to go back to using some castor oil packs as even though i use them on my abdomen, i can tell the castor oil is absorbed into the skin and everything just feels as though it is plumped in the vaginal area and has better integrity, if that makes any sense.

anyways, love to hear about what you've done and, again, so glad to see you around.

xxsusan

louiseds

April 12, 2007 - 4:12am

Hi Susan
I think the principle is to stop irritation developing, then if it does, help it to get better. Simple? Not!

Re urine leakage, I think urine leakage can cause burn, as the residue builds up on knickers. If you don't wear knickers it builds up on pubic hair, so sometimes knickers can be better to wick it away, but change them a couple of times during the day if necessary or use panty liners and change them several times during the day. If you wear knickers there can be some faecal contamination if you get stains in your knickers. If those stains come into contact with urine there is some theory about the ammonia in the urine combining with faecal matter produces acid, which is what happens with babies' nappy rash. Also it can cause e. coli to get into the urethra and cause urinary tract infection.

Re lubrication, we use olive oil or any food grade oil. I have found that oils don't dry out during sex (sometimes blended with perfumed massage oil), so lubrication goes for longer. Somebody did post that cold-pressed extra virgin olive oil could be not so good because it has had minimal processing and may still contain insecticides, fungicides, bird poop etc from the skin of the olives.

Also, if I do get some irritation during sex (which is usually just from being in too much of a hurry for my perimenopausal equipment)I use a high potency vitamin E cream as soon as I can, then again after about 12 hours. It can also be used as a lubricant, though I don't think it is as nice as oil. (Just be aware that oils shouldn't be used with condoms as they can break down.) I would like to give castor oil a go, but I don't think it tastes very nice and it is a poison, not to be used if pregnant I think. I still think the vagina plumping may be to do with the belly rubbing!

Hope that is some help. It is all really trial and error and can be complicated by fungal and other infections, which can also be passed back and forth with your partner, so both need treatment, and it may take some time for the flora to get balanced again, so I have found that a good quality oral probiotic is a good followup. It may still take weeks for it all to settle again.

Best to not let problems develop in the first place, so being vigilant about keeping the vulval area dry and irritation free, taking plenty of time with foreplay and lubricating well are good investments of time and effort.

Hope that helps.

Cheers

Louise

AnneKane

May 4, 2007 - 10:42pm

hi

Susun - louise made any of the suggestion's i could think of - outside of giving acupuncture a try..

Louise just a quick question - what is vaginal plumping through belly rubbing ?

Best wishes

Anne