Just starting and depressed!

Submitted by cararosesmum on January 12, 2010 - 3:25pm
Body: 

I found my 'mild' prolapse in August, and it has recently got worse following some completely rubbish advice from my physio. I have the WW DVD and have ordered the book. I've beeen doing fire breathing and nauli for two or three days (!), and I know it's very stupid to be looking for results already, but, well, I am!

Does anyone have any tips for doing these techniques properly, as I don't think i've 'got' it yet. Am I supposed to feel a lift or something, coz I don't. And how deeply do you need to breathe, and how quickly do you do these movements. And how long for? How ofetn? And seriously, when can I expect to see some improvement, and how much better can it get? At the moment my prolapses are at the entrance to my vagina, unless I strain or have a heavy day, in which case my vagina bulges out.

I know this could be a lot worse, and I have my period at the moment, so I've heard that doesn't help. but I feel like I'm too young for this at 33 and I'm really really down that it seems to be getting worse rather than better.

I try to do the posture as much as possible, but it still feels quite forced and unnatural and i find it really hard to let my tummy expand (vanity!).

I guess I'm just dpressed and feeling abit 'why me?' today. My identity as a woman is so caught up in my reproductive organs that I just don't feel like 'me' anymore. And my husband has lost interest in sex since I went to great pains to explain how I could feel my bits in my vagina! So, yes, it all feels abit shit today and I'm sad.

Thanks for reading, it's good to have somewhere to go where people understand how I'm feeling.

alemama

January 12, 2010 - 5:19pm

it will get better!
but not as good as it could if you insist on holding in your tummy- if you turn sideways in a mirror and slouch and let it all hang out- then pull into whole woman posture with your tummy pulled tight by the lift of your chest and shoulders you will find that it is pretty flattering-
and if you look from the front you will also realize that you look very regal standing in this way-
then go back to your old posture with tummy sucked in and notice that you look a little curled in on yourself- not as flattering right?

Maybe keep the technical details of the prolapse to yourself until you have a handle on your emotions- then if he is upset by the description you can just let it be his reaction and not have to feel bad about it. It was hard on my dh at first too. He was so worried- after all we knew nothing about prolapse and it is such a challenge to image that your young healthy partner is going to have a disability. Quite a bit to come to terms with.
You say he has lost interest in sex- have you? I bet if you were feeling sexy and into him- he would have trouble refusing ;)

I say 6 months of faithful posture and nauli and you will notice the difference- it can get so good you don't even REMEMBER you have a prolapse!
think of it like beginning a work out program- how long would it take you to be able to do 50 push ups or 10 pull ups? months right? you are reshaping your fascia and strengthening your body- all the while relearning how to move....

louiseds

January 13, 2010 - 12:14am

Total agreement with Alemama. Blokes get a bit scared when they think they might hurt or damage their partner, and it is a real passion killer for them! At the same time they are also pretty p***ed off with the imagined prospect of half a lifetime of celibacy! so it is a potent mix of emotions they are dealing with.

Penetrative sex won't do you any damage. In fact a good f*** is the best pelvic organ repositioner there is, and the more often, the better! Just go gently at first. But you will need to feel more confident again before you are ready to enjoy it again. When you finally do, you will kick yourself for going without for all that time. ;-)

Yes, POP does rather cut to the heart of our femaleness, and our femininity, but at least you now know why you are feeling like s*** and we have reassured you that it will get better. It is real grief you are in the middle of, and it is just facing up to it, and working through it that will resolve it.

Hang in there, and eventually you will realise that your old man still loves you just as much, and he won't even feel the difference. I am sure you can find other ways of expressing your sexuality in the meantime.

Louise

clavicula

January 14, 2010 - 1:00am

Hey,

I needed at least 6-7 months until I started to feel improvements that lasted. You'll get there! I know it is not easy to be patient, but trust your body, you have the ability to improve!
Liv

granolamom

January 14, 2010 - 8:37pm

I think most of us here can identify with at least some of your feelings. {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}
for me, it took a long time before I saw any measurable change (like a year). and mine definitely did get worse before it got better. I pretty much stayed the course because I didn't have any other viable options, and I'm glad I did.
you're in a tough place, but you'll get through it and come out the other side.

and just a note...I think nauli and firebreathing shouldn't be done while you have your period.
I answered some of your nauli ??? in the other post

cararosesmum

January 17, 2010 - 7:09pm

Thankyou all for your replies! It's really really good to feel the all the love and support happening on this site!

I've been sticking with the posture and trying out firebreathing and nauli - and I'm definitely getting some sort of 'lift', although it all drops down again afterwards, but, baby steps hey?

And, I had sex! Yay! With my husband! Double yay!

so, yes, I am feeling much more positive(today, fingers crossed it lasts!)

Thanks again,

a smiling Emma

louiseds

January 18, 2010 - 12:18am

Betcha DH is smiling too. :-)