Update -- 8 months PP

I thought now would be a good time to give my update since there are so many new moms posting.

At three weeks postpartum, while walking, I noticed that I felt pressure. I checked myself out in the mirror and felt a strange bulge. I totally freaked out. I went to the doctor the next day. He told me I had a significant cystocele. I started crying. I kept thinking how am I going to live with this?

The following ten weeks were tough. I was afraid to move, afraid to pick up my toddler, afraid to walk upstairs. And I did very little save Christine's DVD workout. I just read through my first few posts (30 weeks ago!) and I was so upset.

I feel better, much better. I'll be honest I still have bad days (especially after viewing pictures that someone recently posted a html for). Do not look at pictures on the internet!!! My cystocele has gotten much smaller. If my uterus was not pushing down on it -- it probably would be nearly gone. My uterus has dropped. I can now feel it at the tip of my middle finger. On bad days (like right now during my period -- first one since baby) it is a bit lower, but not much. I also now have a rectocele, but I think I had this before the doctor and the PT just didn't notice. Like others say so long as I eat healthy, the rect does not bother me.

I no longer feel bulgey at the end of the day. I am no longer afraid of lifting my babies. I just pay attention to how I move my body. I've been carrying aroud my baby in the backpack. I've been lifting weights, my toddler, the laundry basket. I've been hiking, walking, jogging, doing Bikram yoga. There are days when I forget I even have prolapses.

My husband said something to me months ago when I was feeling sorry for myself. He said that most atheletes and physically active people endure a chronic injury at some point in their lives. It does not mean that they can't be active, they just need to be aware of what and how they do things to not aggravate their injury. I know that this is not the perfect analogy but I go back to this. Everyone has something to deal with.

For all of you newbies: Don't let this rob you of your joy with your little babies. Be aware of how your body responds to different movements. I wish you all the best. Use the positive stories on this site to boltster you when feeling down.