Tried and failed babywearing :(

don't give up on it yet

I never tried the ergo, but can you wear the baby real high up on your chest with that one? for some reason, I'm thinking that the ergo is hard to position that way.
I found that when I wore the baby high up (like with the baby's head right up against my chin and the bottom straps right below my ribcage or even over my ribcage) it was not a problem for my 'celes. and maybe for the first time out, I'd start with less than 20 min. and do some nauli before wrapping the baby on.
do you have a wrap? I found those were easier to position really high.
and maybe also, when you take baby off, do some firebreathing or something to get things back into position.

I was about to suggest a wrap. I had a slightly stretchy wrap called a Hug a Bub (the tougher fabric ones are apparently better with older kids, but hard to get little babies in and out of). I loved it! It makes me want to have more babes just so i can wear them in it it was so cozy. I too made it tight and high, and my babe was just part of me. I bulged a bit at first, but not much more than where i was anyway. i really kept in position, and if i felt bulgier, accentuated the position. I was able to carry pretty much exclusively for about 6 months, and about half the time till a year when my little one completely protested (he just wanted to be able to move)

i think ergo's are meant to be good on the back, and a friend was sure that would be good with posture, but i never tried it as my little one preferred by that point to sit in the buggy and wiggle and bounce...

wow Kiki, i had a hugabub with no.1 which she didn't get out of for the first 6 months- and I carried on using it til she was one. this was all pre-POP of course, or so I thought anyway! I thought there was no way i could use it with the baby that's on its way because its supposed to be done up across the abdomen a nd hips. I've got a ring sling for summer but I'd love to use my hugabub again. how did you tie it up?
Christina- I'm sure you'll find a way, it might just take abit of trial and error .Good luck!

I remember that horrible feeling of picking up my kids and actually feeling the bulge. Ugh. It will get better.
have you found that even when you do something to aggravate your prolapse you can feel better again as soon as that same day? If not, you will get there. I loved my Ergo- right about 6 months I could wear my baby on my back and go for hours.
Before that I wrapped as well- on the front.
recently I got an OBI that I don't love :) it's shaped like a big X and the baby loves it!
but there is a newer one that is awesome- it's just two straps- I'm tempted to buy it just to see how it feels. it's very light.

Anyway, I very seriously doubt you will do any lasting damage carrying your 4 month old. It may feel bad- but it is probably making you stronger. Start with shorter walks.

Christinabf, do what you feel is right for you. You don't have to carry baba. She will know she is loved and loved and loved whether you wear her or not.

That said: I have two different 'Moby' type wraps. One is very soft and stretchy, the other firmer. I feel a big big difference when I tie the firmer one too tight sometimes: it feels like my abdomen just became a toothpaste tube, and after ten mins my lower back also hurts like hell.

but with the really soft stretchy one (a cotton lycra, I think, the brand is "Crystal wrap") I find that the stretch itself kinda clings to her and to me so that I can actually do the final bottom tie fairly loose and she still stays in ok. I don't go on a long, brisk march, but just a gentl stroll where I can adjust her easily if need be. I seldom have probems with that.

And some days I just don't do it.

And remember, she's actually gurgling and smiling for her lovely mama, not the wrap! -x-x-x- to you

agree, squeak
the baby, while she may enjoy being worn, doesn't *need* it
but I'm selfish like that, I enjoy babywearing too much to give it up.
not saying I'd go and have another one just to babywear, that could backfire, my baby actually, doesn't like to be worn. she prefers me to just carry her or better yet, ride in her stroller. took me a while to get used to that. oh well.

as for wraps, I love my didymos. followed by my meitai, which I made from a scandi-type tutorial

for great tutorials on how to use a wrap check out thebabywearer.com or look for youtube videos

I wear my Ergo over my pubic bone. Maybe try that?

if I wore a baby that low my back would give out for sure. I guess it depends on your build, I have a really long torso, if the bottom strap of a meitai was over my pubic bone, a 4 mo baby's head would be at the level of my lower ribs

I guess the thing is to keep trying different things until you find your sweet spot

I did a lot of baby carrying with my old mehtai's. Mine were a slightly rectangular, flat body, about 300mm x 400mm with a long, sturdy, 50mm wide strap coming off diagonally at each corner. They folded up to nothing in my baby bag, and were easily laundered. I had one made from cotton headcloth and another lighter one made from poplin for hot weather. I used it on the front, up quite high and very close, until baby could control his head, then moved it to the back when baby was too big and cumbersome on the front, ie when he would start reaching for things, which started getting dangerous, and moving around. It also got pretty hard on my back.

When baby got to toddler stage the mehtai was quite low on my back, kind of like piggybacking baby on my hips, but having two hands free. I think the closer the load is to your centre of gravity (sacrum) more of the load is carried by your pelvis and legs than your back. This is the principle of the hip strap on a hiking rucksack. It leaves your upper body freer, for balance. You lean forward slightly, counterbalanced by the baby leaning back on the back. For some reason it was easy by the time he was a toddler. It makes great sense to me. Hikers understand how to carry heavy loads for long distances.

yes, my ergo rests across my pubic bone- but I am short bodied and long legged... I recently loaned all my pants to a friend who is 6 feet tall- they fit her beautifully- but while they are low rise on me- they almost feature her butt crack when she sits down. So even though she is 4 inches taller than me- we are exactly the same in the inseam.
So with the ergo positioned low across my hips my baby can still nurse!
I tried the wraps up around my ribs- but when I got them tight enough I felt like I couldn't get a deep breath.

funny how that is
my friend, who is a good 6 inches shorter than I am, and I can wear the same knee-length skirt and it hits us at the same spot.
and yet we say that pelvis = center of gravity for everybody.
is that really so? can it be that one's COG changes depending on body type?
and can I say I envy your long legs?

Yes, Gmom, I think you are right about true centre of gravity varying with body type. It could also vary according to where you put on fat, and how much. Some women put fat first on their thighs, some on their waist, some on the upper body. And what about women who have bulky legs and a slim upper body?

You could compare them by lying on a seesaw, perfectly balanced, and see where the centre support was positioned under your body.

Playground, anyone?

It might not matter where the centre of gravity is exactly. It will also change position, probably in a three dimensional figure 8 when walking. What is important is that everything above the sacrum s a cantilever, balanced in space. The sacrum is where that weight divides evenly onto two legs via the pelvic bones, which are 'sort of' fixed in space at the top, and fixed at ground level, at least when standing.

The lower a weight is carried above the sacrum the less strain there is on the musculature of the torso to keep the upper body stable in the horizontal plane. I cannot really understand how high carrying can work better than low carrying, except that the baby swings around less if carried high and close

When i was around 7, I broke my collar bone. There were 6 other kids in my class with broken collar bones that year! Around the same time, my grandparents and several of their friends were tumbling and breaking their hips. I've always remembered this and have figured it was a matter of center of gravity?
I also have a secret obsession for watching people rock climb or boulder. I get totally mesmerised by the differences in how men and women climb. It is so clear to me that women are centered in their pelvis (funny, that;) ) and men's center seems to be their torso, or more specifically, right between the shoulder blades. Weight distribution perhaps, or maybe the center of the 'balance' lays where it does for reasons more complex than gravity?

I can't use an Ergo and I can't do a front carry with my daughter. I don't really do any hip carries with her, either. I have found, though, that putting her on my back has helped with my slouching issues, helped to remind me to NOT tuck my tailbone under, and forced me to relax my lower abdomen. The way the Ergo is designed, I can't use it. It puts too much pressure on my lower abdomen and makes me have a constant urge to urinate. I don't have that symptom when I use my woven wrap (Storch. is what I have.) to put her on my back. If you can get access to a woven and feel safe putting her on your back, I'd give it a whirl. I only do a low back carry so that she's sitting right above my bum.

Good to hear this, Harmony. She is sitting right above your centre of gravity and your sacrum is taking some of the weight off your shoulders, which is important when they get bigger. I always found this the best position too, once baby's neck is strong enough, like 3? months onwards? (It is a long time ago). It is called a piggyback when they get older! I have carried a three year old for some distance like this. Long story. I had several of the original headcloth meh tais with headcloth straps that I could adjust infinitely as they grew. They were my favourite mothering toy. Great as a sling for a hot water bottle for easing mastitis too!