New, terrified and pregnant

Body: 

Hello,

I'm new to this forum. I hope no one minds me jumping right in, but in a hormone/ panic induced googling search this forum was the first site that made me not want to burst into tears and throw myself off a cliff.

Last night I went to the loo and discovered my cervix... right there staring at me. I'm 27, I thought that was too young to feel this broken.

I'm currently 11 weeks pregnant with baby number 5.

First is there anything I can do to help, or just things not to make this any worse? What are the top three things I need to seriously avoid. I've ordered the book and dvd, but being in the uk it's probably going to sometime before I see them.

After reading too much online I can see I am a sitting duck for this. I have a history of childhood abuse. I was twice hospitalized with injuries down there. I have had four vaginal deliveries. My last baby was 10lbs 13onz, and was a hard labour. I kept being told he's just little stop complaining... I'm only 5 feet tall and 135 pounds 9 months pregnant. I think the real trouble was with the midwives who felt I was too tired from delivering him, that despite my birth plan saying no injection for the placenta, they gave it too me anyways. Then one held me down on my back while the other grabbed the cord and pulled. She had her foot braced on the end of the bed tugging for all she was worth. It felt like she was ripping my insides out with it. It was an awful experience, I kept crying asking her to stop. Honestly there was no need my baby wasn't 5 minutes old. But she pulled my uterus and the lot down before the placenta released. I asked the doctor on day 2, and he said 'oh that's normal, do your kegals, by a year after you stop breastfeeding it will be normal, it just needs to heal.

I thought he is crazy, but I did my kegals, and even at 6months postpartum it had shifted to a good 3 inches inside, and I though, okay, I'll be okay.

But I'm not... I'm scared. What is going to happen now?

I know I'm so so so lucky to have gotten this far with out so much trouble. Reading that this can happen to women on their first baby is heartbreaking. For what it is worth, I would spend my every day in prayer if it would take this away for all of you on this forum.

I have had a feeling of heaviness since my second, if I think back honestly. She was 9lbs11onz, and I spent 20minutes in labour and 45 minutes pushing ( and yelling she's stuck!). I still swear she was, she had the biggest head on a baby the midwife had ever seen. She was off the chart in head circumferance.

Well I have rambled ore than I ought to but if anyone can offer any advice, I would be so so grateful.

Thank you and best wishes to all of you.

Hi MumfromUK

No wonder you are panicking. I am appalled that a woman would be treated the way you were for the birth of your first baby. This is like something out of the Dark Ages. You have every right to be still upset about it after what you have been through. (((MumfromUK)))

OK, you are now 11 weeks pregnant. Your uterus will pop up over the brim of your pelvis soon because it will no longer fit down there. I am guessing that you will be feeling quite a bit of pressure until it does come up. You will just have to be patient about this. I would suggest that you spend some time on all fours every day, doing cat and cow exercises with a relaxed belly, to allow your uterus to keep coming out of your pelvis and rest on your abdominal wall. This will keep your uterus mobile, so when the times comes it will move up easily.

Every pregnancy is affected by the pregnancy and birth preceding it, which is why you are experiencing something unexpected.

There are lots of women on this site who have had multiple pregnancies after POP diagnosis. Some are probably asleep now, but I am sure they willbit by bit give you the benefit of their experiences.

You can stop panicking now, and just enjoy being pregnant, and enjoy your children, if a bit uncomfortable and unsure of yourself. I am sure it will be fine in the end.

I hope somebody euthenased the midwife from your first birth so she never had the chance to do that to another woman.

Louise

Hi MumfromUK

Just a post to reinforce Louise's comforting words. I was told by a midwife at a sixteen week checkup with my second that virtually every woman on her second or subsequent pregnancy has some degree of heaviness/ temporary prolapse until about week twenty, when the growing size of the uterus means it pops up out of the pelvis and becomes an abdominal organ instead. A young work colleague of mine talked casually about a panic with a protruding cervix several days post partum, and the midwife cheerfully saying that they are so common and nearly always improve. Older women nodded matter of factly at that. Everyone seems to have had something like this in early pregnancy or post partum, or to know someone who has. You're not broken and you certainly have youth on your side for healing. There are so many posts on here from women having panics about pregnancy or the
post partum period and then going on to manage/ improve their prolapses very well.

You seem to have had two awful midwives for your last birth. I know that in the UK with an NHS hospital birth we have no choice - we get whoever's on shift - but it's worth being assertive with your antenatal midwife/ GP and explaining that you feel you were injured by inappropriate treatment. You might want to specify that, whilst you are not making a formal complaint, ( unless you feel strong enough to do so) you refuse to be delivered by these women again and that you refuse to have the placenta delivered in this manner. In fact it's worth making an appointment with you doctor - and taking along a woman you're close to - to make sure that this is recorded. Write it in huge letters all over your birth plan and highlight it. Get you partner, mother or whoever your birth partner is on side and make sure they understand why this is important and are ready to speak up for you if you are too overwhelmed by the birth to do it yourself.

It is frightening to discover prolapse symptoms at any age, and if you google 'prolapse' you can certainly feel very depressed/ panicked because so many sites describe it as a progressive condition - and it needn't be.

I would really recommend Saving the Whole Woman - but mine took ages to arrive in the UK as well. In the meantime, could some of our pregnancy post-prolapse experts here share some tips on posture/ lifestyle in pregnancy? ( I didn't discover this site till I was finished with the baby thing- but plenty of women here have had good pregnancies and births with prolapse.)

Congratulations on your fifth pregnancy!

Doubtful

hi there and welcome to the site

I agree, the mw who 'assisted' your last birth should be shot. ok, maybe a tad harsh, but just a tad.

so here you are with a prolapse and pg. congratulations on the pregnancy and I hope the panic subsides so you can enjoy being pg.
you arent broken. its an awful thing to discover, and I know the panic well. like others have said, the uterus will rise up soon and bring the cervix along with it. that should help things for the duration of your pg.
what can you do about it? well, read everything you can on this site and order the book or dvd if you can. much of the posture and exercises you wont be able to do while pg, but you can start as soon as you have the baby. in the meantime, what to avoid?
avoid constipation. do not strain against the toilet (lift your bum up a bit if you can). avoid leaning back in soft cushy furniture (like recliners, armchairs, sofa's etc). I'd say to avoid tight restrictive clothing but I'm assuming you will soon be in maternity clothes anyway. although, I have friends that squish into regular hose and skirts for as long as they can while pg. don't.
read some of the old posts regarding labor/birthing positions. any chance you can have a homebirth to be assured you are supported and cared for the way you want/need/deserve?
and please know that you can still have more babies. I had two babies after finding my prolapses, and am no worse off for it.
you can manage this after the baby gets here. it can be ok.
((((((hugs)))))))

Hey, Mumfromuk,

Just want to welcome you here and say congrats on your pregnancy, please, do not be terrified! These smart ladies already gave you great advices.
You are not the only woman who went through pregnancy after POP! This forum is the best place for you right now. Ask all your questions and read the pregnancy forum.

Hugs, you are not alone, hang in there!

Liv