6 weeks left of pregnancy


Well this pregnancy has gone fabulously...I think it is a combination of feeling better and having a positive attitude, I am very thankful to have enjoyed the pregnancy this time around. No problems with prolapse at all...well until the last couple days.
This baby is so low in my pelvis now and my most symptomatic pop has always been my rectocele but now I have been battling constipation. I drink a lot of water, eat a vegetarian lifestyle and my idea of constipation is slightly different than some. I like to have a BM everyday. When I don't I start to worry. Well at the end of my work day lately my vagina/pelvic floor have been large and bulgy and heavy. (I remember Alemama's post before she gave birth and my vagina is feeling similar to her description) I may have a BM one day and the next day I will have to push like I haven't gone in several days. My stomach is really large and in the way and bearing down is not fun. I feel fine after I actually do have a BM. I started taking a stool softener and wonder if it is helping or rather how bad it would be without the use of them. I worry that if it is hard for me to poop and how bulgy and swollen my vagina feels when I have to go how another vaginal birth is going to effect me.
My OB thinks I should give birth vaginally and really that is my plan but maybe I am just getting cold feet or scared because of the long rehab process I have ahead of me with 1 instead of 2 children but I am trying not to freak out about giving birth.
There is only two ways this baby is coming out. I am just concerned that everything is going to get RALLIED... This whole pooping thing is really what freaks me out. If I can't push a poop out....OY!

Ok, first, it is not in any way abnormal to not poop each and every day. This may have been your norm, but remember what's going on at this late stage of pregnancy. Your baby is busy packing on the pounds, which means your digestion is slowed for a reason -- your body is trying to maximize the availability of nutrients for your baby's growth. Keep up the healthy eating, water, and take walks. Maybe try an apple at bedtime or prune juice instead of the stool softener, and see if you can find acceptance in having a BM every 2-3 days. You will be fine! Also, try not to compare the difficulty of passing stool during a time when your digestion is slowed for a reason to being able to push out a baby while your body is giving you tons of help with powerful and dynamic contractions. Are you aware of midwife Ina May Gaskin's theories regarding sphincters and childbirth? That may be something good to read, both for birth and for pooing. :-). Thinking good thoughts for you!

hi bsmrunner
glad to hear your pg was enjoyable for you! that's awesome.
don't let the cold feet thing get to you. getting a grip on managing your prolapse pp will be easier this time around because you know what you're in for, you've done this before, the learning curve is behind you.
poop and babies are similar but different. for one, the baby does alot of the work too, and there really is no stopping him (or her).
my primary prolapse is my bladder so maybe this wont help much, but at the very end of my last pg I was having trouble emptying my bladder. I carry very low and the baby dropped early so I spent quite a few weeks with the sensation of a head between my legs. anyway, I found that if I lifted my belly up with my hands and leaned forward a bit, my bladder emptied easily. not sure if this will help with the poo, but worth a shot. I'd also try some hula-hooping (not with a hoop but just the movement) and cat/camel on all fours. anything to relieve pressure on the bowel/perineum.
you're in the home stretch....almost there...you can do it! we're all cheering you on!

I love Ina May and the positive birthing stories...I read a lot of them during my last pregnancy but am unfamiliar with her theories on sphincters and childbirth. I get the whole slowing down of peristalsis and such and ALL the weight on everything down there right now but with not having a BM everyday it makes it really hard to actually go. Yes no freaking out...kind of in my control and kind of hard not to at 2-3 am with insomnia thinking of the end getting near :)
I generally have been SUPER positive because there is not a WHOLE lot I can do about the damage except what I already know and need to apply. Planning on having another birth on all 4s. Trying to rest a lot after pregnancy and not go hiking or jump around or try and run like I did last time. Fortunately my husband will be home for about 1 month after I have the baby so that should be helpful. I just keep trying to tell myself that it will be positive and that I will recover...I HAVE to believe this :)

Admittedly, I have not read Ina May's sphincter law since my first birth nearly three years ago (should probably revisit it!) but here is the general impression it left with me: in pooping and in childbirth, sphincters open when we feel safe, unstressed, and confident in our body's ability to function as it was meant. Say you are a cavewoman spooked by a large tiger -- your body knows to clamp down and prevent a poo (or birth) that could make you a sitting duck for attack. I think modern stress, including fretting over regularity of BMs or fearful birthing environments can have a similar outcome. Your body wants to wait until you feel relaxed enough to open up. Someone please correct me if I am wrong! I think she also connects relaxing the mouth with bring able to relax gentital and anal sphincters, but again I need to review that before I pass it off as fact. Yep, keep filling up with positive thoughts -- you for sure can recover again if it comes to that.

oh my gosh! I'm so glad I took the time to memorialize my giant vagina :)
Imagine if we didn't have due dates- how would we know we were getting to the end? I think this is one of the giant blinking signs that our body sends to us to say 'hey! you are gonna need to start preparing for birth now'
I also remember going through the same emotional stuff you are going through right around this time- my thoughts were more centered around fear of tearing but fear is fear right?
So about 6 weeks before baby the vagina gets bigger and boggy and your thoughts turn to birth and fears surrounding birth.
This is happening because you need to work through some stuff. You did the right thing by saying it out loud.
Now what to do about it? Well, in my case I made a plan- but that's the kind of person I am- When I have a plan I feel like I am in control of a very outside of my control process (birth).
I assure you, your body will birth your baby. But sometimes our thoughts become our reality- which is why in my case I spent time thinking about how I was NOT going to tear. So my advice is to first consider if there is some mama instinct talking to you right now- is there a reason your body has asked you to consider this idea of not being able to push your baby out? It could be that you need to walk through the birth and see yourself having trouble pushing- open your mind up to solutions. It could be that your body is preparing you to consider a birthing phase very different from your first birth. I recently read a birth story where the mom got fully dilated, could feel the baby's head but the labor stopped. She had no idea what to do. She was so worried and frustrated.
After a few hours of this (I can only imagine what a few hours at 'ready to push this baby out' felt like) she had made it through her birth fears- she allowed herself to trust her baby and her body and labor picked up again.
So, I think if there is some unresolved fear out there you are better off making your way through it 6 weeks before the baby is born- rather than having to do it all during the birth.
Maybe start thinking about how you are going to birth and about how the baby coming out will be for you. Talk with your baby about it. Let your baby know you are going to need help during that phase of the labor.
You are in the homestretch now! You are ripe and powerful. You can do this.

Alemama~ I read this post and actually cried a little bit. I think I really hear what you are saying. With my son I spent a lot of time preparing physically and mentally for the birth. My husband and I took Bradley method classes and I spent time visualizing the birth, focusing on my body and relaxation. This second pregnancy, although it has been so much easier for me, has gotten MUCH less attention because it all goes towards my 2 year old. I really do need to make time to focus on this baby's birth and communicate with him/her and my body. This truly is a necessity and I believe in its power. Thank you so much for the reminder to be present through the process. I had SO much faith in my ability to birth naturally the first time and I need to allow myself the space and positivity to do it again. I need to trust my body again even in its less than ideal prolapsed state. I know my body can do it, I am just fearful of the aftermath and I need to come to terms with this. I know I have worked through a lot of it considering I had to get to a peaceful space about my prolapse before deciding to get pregnant again. One thing I have learned through the process is to be kind to myself. I need to be prepared for not only the birth but let go of the fear of what may or may not happen after the birth...focus on each step of the process. Not perseverate on unknown. Thank you.

You mentioned being kind to yourself. And how the thought almost made you cry.

Gosh, isn't it the truth for all of us? To remember to try to be kind to ourselves. Even through all this I feel myself rushing myself to get better, come on, come on body heal. Instead of this body's been through a lot and I totally understand it's been tired and pushed and I kind of betrayed it. Time for us to be kind to our bodies - gentle and understanding. And to give our bodies credit for all they have done for us, put up with, etc.

I think as a society, too we get so carried away with "you can do it" and "push past your limit," etc to the point that mind over matter becomes a national if not international obsession.

TV shows indicate it's good to push past the point where you think you might faint exercising, we watch people told they have "more to give" for the sake of The Biggest Loser Team, and singers are insulted for not stretching their voices enough, for not chosing the song American Idol judges might pick as if young kid contestants can read the minds of the older judges who praise those who push, push, push themselves.

We watch TV shows of people jumping from large cushioned objects to large cushioned objects, on which they get smacked in the face by some other object leaving them to fall into the water way below. Conquer your fears, bungie jump screaming for dear life on Amazing Race and while your at it that same day why don't you eat worms and locusts even if you vomit before entering a cold chamber that you enter shivering barefoot and turning blue.

Cheerleaders leap from ever higher heights, dance groups do more elaborate flips and dangerous jumps - where has the common sense gone? Where did we abandon the ability to decipher the difference between mind over matter being a good thing and mind over matter being something that has us shopping too long because we don't want to admit to a loved one that a mere half hour of shopping has given us heavy legs? And embarrassed to admit that we have to forgo "cute" jeans for a fluffier, lighter dress?

I have had a brewing feeling that I must call attention to the fact that we as a community, a nation, a world have to start calling people out on thinking it's ok to admire the part of a project runway show where the judges humiliate someone for not working well after having gotten no sleep. And where cooking shows feel denegrating people makes them better cooks.

There's this weird vibe in the world right now that if we AREN'T abusing our bodies, we are weak.

But like everything else - Rosa Parks saying she won't get up, MLK saying we will not use violence, Ghandi saying you have to be the change you want to see, a simple parent who doesn't react to a teenager's outburst, it is the act of NOT pushing yourself, NOT reacting, NOT going without sleep, NOT making yourself sick over something, NOT arguing, NOT expecting people to risk death to win a show - that is the sign of maturity, common sense, love, and sensibility.

I have had this inkling that I need to allow myself to catch a nap, wear comfortable clothes, to be understanding toward employees by making sure they eat and get enough sleep, and relax myself in my head at work - not because I am weak - but because it is the right thing to do.

Yay! Cheer! Cheer!! Your're on the money, CSF.

Yes, this crusty old lady had tears welling up too. Alemama spoke a fundamental truth. Baby steps BSMrunner, baby steps. One thing at a time. Of course you can do it ... very well indeed.


You are so right CSF, you had me in tears of laughter so much I had to tell dh, about the humour amidst all the chaos of our bodies and what we PUSH them through!I'm paying for doing too much last week, before I went away for the weekend dancing. The price I paid ... aching hip, ankle,falling POP, feeling so heavy with it all,dragged myself around, not my usual spring. and bloated tummy.More lessons to learn eh.The downs and the ups of it all , as they say.
Good words Alemama for BSM runner.
You can do it BSM runner, and in the process we learn from you :-) I wish I knew all this stuff when I had my babies many years ago.I'm reading as much as I can here, as my dd is expecting her first baby later this year.
All the best and I wish you a relaxing and calm few weeks ahead.xx