Sex

Hi Keh

It depends on your age. If you are getting near menopause your vagina will probably be getting drier anyway. Breastfeeding will also dry the vagina by holding oestrogen levels low. This is just a by product of the contraceptive function of breastfeeding.

Having POP means that you have bulges coming out front and/or back of the vaginal walls. This will have two effects.

Firstly the bulge will smooth out the rugae in your vagina. These rugae normally move during coitus, somewhat like a man's foreskin. This normally will reduce unpleasant sensations of rubbing. If your partner is circumcised there will be more rubbing.

The second effect is that the vagina is no longer as straight as it was, so a penis will hit different spots along the length of your vagina and rub more on them.

When there is POP the vulva is also changed. There can be more pressure 'outwards' and the vulva often becomes more crowded. Tissue that is normally kept moister because it is normally in the vagina becomes exposed to air and to knickers, and it can get chafed and irritated. This includes the entrance to the urethra. This can make coitus very uncomfortable or painful. Where there is inflammation there is the chance of cross-infection from your knickers. This is how bacteria get into the bladder.

A couple of suggestions. Firstly, more foreplay is very helpful, to allow your natural lubrication to be produced in greater quantities. Women often take more time to be aroused than men, especially once we are at the end of our reproductive life. The mojo is still there. I have proved that! She just takes longer to wake up.

The second suggestion is to continue to use WW principles during coitus, bending from the hips, to leave your lumbar curve in place, and keeping your middle and upper back straight, rather than bent forwards. This has implications for the positions you are in for coitus. Use of strategically placed pillows helps. It is now time to experiment with different positions. Position you liked before may no longer be comfortable. Make sure the angle of entry is as 'just right' as possible.

Having your arms up over your head also helps maintain the lumbar curve. This is because the lattimus dorsi, a large sheet of muscle and ligament is fastened at the bottom to the tailbone and all up the sacrum and lower spine and to the top to the back of the upper arm bones (humerus) on both arms. As you lift your arms your tailbone will be pulled upwards, which tilts your sacrum forwards and reinforces your lumbar curve.

In the later stages of arousal you may feel the urge to tuck your butt and thrust your pelvis forwards. If you are that aroused baby, then your vagina will no longer be dry, believe me! Just enjoy it!

Many women use a vaginal lubricant just in case, especially if they have an 'impatient' partner. There is a recipe for making your own, based on oil and beeswax in Christine's Kitchen. You can change the consistency of the recipe to what suits you, and add other things like sesame oil for vitamin E, or essential oils, or whatever. Just be aware that oil based lubricants do break down latex, so they compromise latex condoms and diaphragms. However, they do seem to persist longer than water based lubricants.

Porn star posture with arms raised and prominent breasts and butt is no coincidence! It works!

Some women resort to oestrogen creams. Oestrogen increases the risk of breast cancer. Even though it is locally used I am uncomfortable about using it, expecially as there are other less risky options. Replens is a non-oestrogenic vaginal moisturiser which might also help.

We have discussed these subjects before. Use the Search box to find the discussions.

Louise