I'm panicking! New here, postpartum cystocele/rectocele?

Submitted by lilemma on July 6, 2011 - 8:14pm
Body: 

Hi! I'm in some need of advice. I'm 30 years Old, 18 weeks postpartum and just discovered what I believe to be a rectocele and probably a 2nd degree cystocele. I delivered my first child, a baby girl, 6lb 14oz in February. It was a pretty bad labor, 26 hours, 3 hours of pushing. I was induced with pitocin. I had a small laceration on a remnant of my hymen. Doctor told me' it was a very unusual tear and I bled quite a bit although I only required 2 sutures. She was caught on this hymenal ring which is why I had to push for so long. The doctor was just about to use forceps and I managed to get her out. Recovery was typical , thought all was fine. On day of 6 week check, I did take a mirror and look at myself and noticed some fleshy bulging inside but thought it was just lax vaginal walls or swelling. I asked my doctor and he said things were ok. He said things wouldn't really tone up to their full potential for at least 6-12 months and after I stopped nursing. (still nursing btw) due to low estrogen, stretched muscle fibers etc,
So two

Mishek

July 6, 2011 - 9:46pm

Hi Lilemma and welcome, This is just a fill in until someone more experienced can come to advise you. For now try to relax and i know it's hard to rest when you have a young baby, but try to lay down whenever you get the chance and someone will be with you shortly. you are in the right place with caring women who understand and have experienced your anguish. You will find so much help on this forum and we are all here for you so hang in there.Start with your posture (very important) you will learn how to improve your symptoms by living in the posture and doing ww work. So glad you found us.
Hugs Mishek

gardengirl

July 7, 2011 - 1:55am

I would also like to encourage you to search through the past posts. There is so much information, support and encouragement that has been given on this site.
Things do get better given time and with the right advice from the WW circle.
Take a deep breath you will be OK

lilemma

July 7, 2011 - 4:41am

Hi! Thanks for the replies already. I didn't get to finish my post last night, baby up crying :-). Ok so back to my story, I felt my recovery was very typical. I was sore but nothing out of the ordinary. Right before my six week checkup I took a mirror and looked down there. Things seemed bulgy but I just thought it was swelling and truthfully didn't worry much. My obgyn examined me' and said all was well and normal. He said as for things tightening up (tone) give it at least 6-12 months and especially once I stopped nursing (I'm still breastfeeding btw). I didn't think about it after. My husband and I resumed sexual activity and it felt the same except for a bit of burning where I had my sutures. A few weeks ago I noticed that my urge to have a bm came on really suddenly and one day I did not make it to my bathroom! I was horrified! This has NEVER happened before! Luckily I was home alone with just my baby Emma. Again, I was busy with baby and didn't look again and really didn't think much about it. Last weekend when my husband and I Had sex, I felt a bit of tearing at vaginal opening. I took shower and looked , there were just two tiny tears on perineum prob from not enough lubrication. I checked inside and was horrified! I just saw bulging everywhere! When I inserted a finger inside I had to veer off to the side to even access the canal. I did a lot of research, and I did the whole woman exam and I think I have maybe a stage 1 or two cystocele and a mild rectocele!!!!! I've been devastated all week. I have absolutely no urinary symptoms or bowel symptoms (besides that one episode). It does not bother me' during sex. My husband Is very supportive, however I feel humiliated!!!! In my research over the past week I've read a lot (maybe too much). But I still need some answers! My obgyn can't see me for three more weeks. I see my family doctor today. I referred myself for physio with a woman who specializes in pelvic floor rehab and I start next week. My main question is will this improve???? I'm 4.5 months postpartum and still nursing. Is it true that many woman see significant improvement in first 1-2 postpartum years. I want more children but now the fear of the damage it'll do is causing me' so much worry. Is it true things may improve once I stop nursing my baby?? I'm so upset. I lead an active life, walking daily and doing yoga. Should I stop?? I'm wondering if I contributed to this by becoming active too quickly. I was feeling great and was up cleaning and walking by 3 weeks postpartum. I eat well, never strain for bm (have always been very regular) and have lost almost all of my baby weight. (I'm 5'6", 120lb). I really appreciate this site, I will look around but ANY advice or insight into the possibility for improvement would be soooo appreciated.

louiseds

July 7, 2011 - 4:59am

Hi Lillemma

Having a baby changes your body so much. That's without all the other changes. I think your doctor is a bit ambitious in his thinking to say that your body 'will be toned up to your full potential in 6-12 months'. I think that is unrealistic and can only lead to disappointment. Women on this site think more in terms of 2 years, and then some subtle changes for a couple of years after that when you have had your last baby.

There is no clinical evidence at all that stopping nursing will have any positive effect on pelvic organ prolapse, the reason being that your oestrogen levels will have risen considerably by the time you wean anyway, your vagina will be moister again, and ultimately menstruation will return. Oestrogen levels have nothing at all to do with prolapse. Vaginal dryness that you experience during nursing is caused by lowered oestrogen levels, just like at menopause. Vaginal dryness can stop the walls of the vagina slipping over each other easily and smoothly, so you may get sensations that you don't normally get until oestrogen is more plentiful again.

Postpartum prolapse often doesn't show up for a couple of months postpartum, possibly when we start to gear up our activity levels again after a babymoon, and baby is getting heavier too.

The six week checkup is nothing to do with ticking off the recovery of your body post birth. It is actually about ticking off the doctor's responsibility following birth, ensuring that the lochia has ceased, or nearly ceased, that you have contraception organised, and that the baby and you are thriving and well. If things are going to go wrong, they will probably happen well before the 6 week checkup!

You are at the worst time right now for postpartum POP, and it should start to get better again in a couple of months, though it may be a bit longer. What you have described is textbook normal for a postpartum woman, so have no fear. Your body will get better all by itself, even if you do nothing. However, by ditching your thin clothes, eating well and using your body differently, amending your posture so you can prevent further damage and help your body to reposition your pelvic organs for future stability by moving them forward onto your pubic bone, stabilised at the front by your lower abdominal wall, and at the back by your pelvic floor.

So breathe easy. I think you will find that things will eventually be much better than they are. Have a look at the YouTube videos for Wholewomaninc channel to give yourself a start on all this new information.

Louise

lilemma

July 7, 2011 - 6:44am

Thank you so much Louise.I did check out the posture on the YouTube videos and wow! My lower back can really feel it when I stand proprerlt, which means I must be doing a whole lot of improper standing and walking. Even my upper back and shoulders really ache when I place my shoulders correctly. It's funny because during pregnancy I had tremendous back pain and found that I started walking with my tummy pulling my lower back in all the time. I still find I am walking like this when I lug around my daughter in her infant seat (prob 25-35 pounds of weight) I mentioned in my second verrrrry long post about the fact that I take yoga. I hadn't really gone much since I had Emma but last weekend I went and this is when I discovered my prolapses (later that day). Which yoga moves do I need to avoid? We did a lot of deep squats and that can't be a great exercise for prolapse? What about the posture when sitting? Is it about holding shoulders down and relaxed, head high. Back straight or no? I do a lot of sitting while nursing these days. Thank you !!
As

louiseds

July 7, 2011 - 9:46am

Porn star. Princess. Whatever you like. Have a look at some YouTube video of women carrying baskets and loads on their heads in developing countries, where women use this posture intuitively and are not massively influenced by media to do it like the lycra lady on the telly.

Once you get it it will be effortless, but until that time you will be establishing new habits in muscle memory. I went through that several years ago with WW posture, but eventually I realised that it was logical and that it was working, so it was for my own good.

I am currently battling with establishing muscle memory with guitar playing and with dance, so I know what you are going through. However, I know that I eventually learned to touch type, and I now have a relatively good grasp of what notes are where on the first four frets of all six strings, so I know I can succeed. You can too. It might take time.

There is so much to remember when you are organising your body! I agree with Christine that lifting your chest is the five star adjustment, followed by pulling up the crown of your head (not the fontanelle area). If you do these two things and make sure everything else is relaxed, including your belly, your pelvis will tilt forward slightly and set your lumbar curve in place. Your mid spine will move forwards, your centre of gravity will move forwards (feel the weight change in your feet), your knees will flex ever so slightly, your neck will become more upright and your chin will tuck slightly. I don't think you should have to push your shoulders down. If they are relaxed they will hang down by themselves. Just make sure that you don't lift them with your chest. Your body will balance itself.

You might experience some aches and pains for a while. I sometimes get a bit of lower back pain but that is a small price to pay for the benefit I get, and I don't know for sure that it is the posture causing it. I thought my posture was excellent when I started using the WW posture, but my shape now is quite different from what it was like then. I think making friends with my belly was the hardest bit, but my belly sticks out less now, because my boobs stick out further! It is also a lot firmer because my abdominal muscles are all stretched out a lot more, so my belly is firmer, even though it is relaxed.

Try doing each bit of WW posture separately, and feel how each body part feels different with every adjustment. Go gently. There are no prizes for overdoing it too quickly.

You could also try nursing lying down sort of half on your side with a pillow jammed down behind your back.

Louise

lilemma

July 7, 2011 - 8:13pm

I went to my family doctor today, was examined and not told grade of cystocele or rectocele, just that it is mild. I got the sense from my doctor that she really didn't know much about it. However, she did tell me' that this is incredibly common In the postpartum population and most of the time there is great improvement during first year. I felt a bit better. I just feel like I am the only person that I know that this happened to. I ask friends who have had babies how things are healing and they say "totally back to normal". I don't get it. I'm feeling a but more optimistic after reading this site and I ordered the book and DVD and I can't wait to start. I have a question regarding posture when sitting. Am I to try to keep my head and chest high, and let lower back curve in? What about in the car? I really am so incredibly happy I found this site. I don't feel so all alone. It's frustrating because when I talk to my mom or sister or close friend about this, they just say "well you just had a baby, of course things are different". Really, I just dint think they understand the emotional impact. It makes me' feel self conscious sexually, my husband says he can't even tell and actually things seem pretty snug. I just dint have heart to tell him "yeah things are snug because everythings collapsed in there". I've always been comfortable with my body and ever since I had Emma, I feel like a stranger in this body with all the changes. I absolutely adore my child and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, but I am grieving my old vagina lol. Will sex ever feel ok again? I'm only 30!

louiseds

July 8, 2011 - 9:21am

Hi Lilemma

It's late here, so I will reply briefly.

Yes, feeling like you are a stranger in your own body after you have had a baby is a very common experience. Thankfully, the longer we are in this different body, and the more we learn about it, the less strange it becomes.

Of course having a baby changes your body. When you are only 30 it is a bit of a shock. Now I am getting on towards 60 I have been living in my changed body for almost half my life, and it is OK. You too will reach this point. I now regard the pre-pregnant woman's body as an immature body, the way a bud is not yet a flower. I know that the media, advertising and fashion industries would not agree with this, but that's their bad luck. I accept it and love it, even if they don't.

Your husband is not lying about your vagina not being any different, so don't feel sorry for him. He is happy that sex is still on the menu! Sex is good for both of you, and penetrative sex is especially good, because it repositions your vagina and pelvic organs. I reckon the male penis is the best pessary in the world, evne if we cannot use it 24/7. At least we don't have to fold it in half to get it in!

You will learn how to use the characteristics of WW posture as aids to good sex. When in WW posture your pelvic floor is stretched to its tightest. You can work out how to use it for your own and your husband's pleasure. Hint: If you are astride your husband during sex you are in control of the direction of his penis in your vagina, and how much pentration there is, and you are able to use your upper body posture to stretch out your abdominal muscles and your pelvic floor muscles.

You can use the Search box to look for topics about cars and sitting in general. Pack a cut lunch and put the kettle on . There have been lots of discussions on both. Come back with more questions.

Grief is a very normal part of discovering POP, but there is a lot you can do to relieve your symptoms, prevent more damage, and learn how to use your body more effectively. It beats the hell out of having a surgeon rearrange it for you, and still run the risk of further prolapse as a result of the surgery.

Once you know what is going on in your body and how much you can do to overcome the changes and symptoms, your grief will slowly dissipate. It is real grief, and real grief takes some time to deal with. Be gentle with yourself. You are no less of a woman than you were.

Louise :-)