Finally saying hi

Submitted by EB-mommy on September 28, 2011 - 11:53am
Body: 

Hi Everyone,

I've been reading and lurking for almost a month now so I thought it was finally time to officially say "hi". I'm a 29 y/o first time mom, I had my sweet baby girl on in June. I had a birth center birth with a wonderful MW. Everything was super fast for a first labor: 6 hours from first contraction to birth and 30 minutes of pushing. I had read so much about natural childbirth which is why I chose a MW, contrary to the opinions of lots of my friends and family. So I was so overwhelmed and depressed when my post partum healing wasn't as easy as I had hoped.

I self-diagnosed (using Christine's exam) probably a cystocele and rectocele at about 10 weeks pp. Looking back, I probably started having POP symptoms quickly after delivery. My first BMs were SOO difficult and anxiety provoking, I eventually had to stand to go and continued this for several days with spliting etc. I was also recovering from a 2nd deg tear with stitches and was SO afraid to sit upright on my perineum that I spend almost 2 full weeks reclining in bed, on the couch or glider. After reading in this forum I'm sure that was the exact WRONG thing to do... sigh. Anyways, in those first few months I had the consistent feeling that something was wrong "down there" and felt sure that my stitches weren't healing properly. I think that looking back, I was dealing with a lot of new mom anxiety and overwhelmed by the way that the whole birth process had changed my body. I finally looked (probably shouldn't have) and noticed bulges that basically just made my vagina look colapsed in on itself. I thought it was just swelling normal post-baby weirdness until about the 10 week mark when I started feeling the irritating sensation that a tampon was in wrong and achy almost sciatic like pain that got worse at night, especially on days that I walked a lot. At my 6 week check, my MW did say that she felt things prolapsing some when I coughed (only checked while lying down), but she said it was normal and would continue to improve. I talked with her at about 11 weeks pp and she suggested squatting rather than kegels and by that time I had thankfully found this website and all of you because I was beginning to spiral towards the dark side emotionally and feeling myself slowing shutting down and losing hope of ever feeling back to "normal"

After finding the site, I have started to do the WW posture as much as possible and have been doing the yoga DVD several times a week (trying to find time to do it daily). I have already noticed a difference, although some days continue to be not great. I'm slowly working my way through reading all of the posts on the site. It's taking longer than I would like b/c my 3 month old really likes to be in mommy's arms which makes using the computer a challenge at times, so I'm sorry in advance that my questions may have already been answered.

So.... a few questions...
1. I am working on dealing with bouts of constipation by making changes to my diet change and increasing my exercise, but have found that now all of the sudden I'm having a sense of urgency to pee when I don't have much in my bladder. Is this common b/c maybe the rectocele is improving and now cystocele dropping in its place??
2. What is the best way to hold my 15 lb baby girl when walking or standing. This is almost the only thing that puts her to sleep and I'm finding it really hard to keep my chest up when holding her . She's such a chunk! My husband is out of town for a week and I'm worried that I'm going to struggle trying to carry her so much on my own.

I wanted to sincerely thank all of you women for your honesty, kindness and willingness to live this process with one another. I found this site at my emotional lowest, and I know God must have had a hand in bringing me here to remind me of the bigger picture and to get some much needed TLC from women who care, even through cyberspace :). The information, encouragement and peace that I have already found here (even just in my lurking) have made a huge difference in giving me hope that I can still live life to the fullest, still have more babies, still have a physical relationalship with my hubs... still be ME. You all already feel like friends, thanks again.

Surviving60

September 28, 2011 - 1:59pm

EB-mommy: Welcome! Every woman who finds this site is another woman who will get her life back. I am thankful every day for Christine, her work, her staff, and all the kind and caring women who share their lives on this forum. I'm not enough of a veteran to answer your questions, but there is no shortage of knowledge here. Please rest assured that you will be fine....you have all the tools you need, you just have to put them to work. Good luck in your journey!

louiseds

September 28, 2011 - 7:26pm

So glad you are getting some support here. You could try a baby sling on the front. Find a position that feels most comfortable for you. when she has full head control you might like to try wearing her on the back.

All slings are different. They don't have to be expensive and bulky. I used to use the original meh tais, which are a square of fabric about 300mm square, with four equal long straps, about 1 metre long fastened diagonally to the four corners, and reinforced well with extra stitching. You can tie them in many different ways and just throw them in the washing machine if they get wet or puked on.

Google "meh tai pattern" if you want to look at what others have made.

Louise

alemama

October 1, 2011 - 11:22am

question 1. is probably yes. but don't worry. If your rectocele is receding it's only a matter of time before your cystocele joins in. (do you nauli yet?)

2. I like to use an Ergo carrier for the baby. It really distributes the weight over my whole body. Do you have an exercise ball (those big balls). Some of my babies who have liked motion were content to settle for bouncing on the ball to fall asleep.

Congratulations on your new baby and yes everything is going to be wonderful. You are still you and will be forever and ever. And yes to more babies. Give yourself time to recover postpartum (about 2 years if you can) and then go for it.
Welcome here.

bad_mirror

October 1, 2011 - 2:41pm

Love this carrier. Today I wore my 12 pound 8- week old for 3 hours, took 2 buses, walked a mile, had lunch and visited the playground all while wrangling my willful almost three year old. Cystocele is up and outta sight! As long as you are in posture, any activity can be downright therapeutic, and things like the Ergo can help you navigate the living aspect of your life. You are going to be great! Have faith. (and learn Nauli to go with the posture!)

EB-mommy

October 1, 2011 - 8:58pm

I have used the ergo which i definitely think helps, I even think it distributes her weight better than my baby k'tan wrap, but I can't figure out a good way to lay her down after she falls asleep in either one of them. Shes a tummy sleeper so by the time i get her out and flip her over she is totally back awake, boo... Any tips? And I keep seeing you ladies mention nauli but I'm not sure what it is. Is this the same as the fire breathing christine describes in the book? I have been trying this but I'm not sure if I'm doing it right yet. I'll try to search nauli in the forums and see what I find, but I'd love more specific tips on how much or often i should be doing it. Thank you all so much for writing back.

louiseds

October 2, 2011 - 3:18am

Try YouTube

EB-mommy

October 2, 2011 - 7:13pm

So I looked up nauli on YouTube and gave it a try. Holy cow, you ladies can actually do this?? I'm so intimidated but will keep trying. Is it bad to practice if I'm unsure of my form. I don't want to make anything worse. Maybe just starting with the abdominal lifting??? How do you get those abs to move??

EB

louiseds

October 2, 2011 - 10:10pm

EB-mommy, cheer up! Nauli is beyond me too! However it is really only just firebreathing principles with an horizontal belly roll in the middle of it. From this point of view it is an excellent method of unsticking your organs and getting them to move around inside you, which is an important part of repositioning them.

One day I will have to perfect it. For now fire breathing does me. I don't even do a lot of firebreathing, but I know that both techniques are things I have up my sleeve for a rainy day.

It is really only establishing another bit of muscle memory. (says she ...)

L :-)

granolamom

October 3, 2011 - 8:11am

hi EB_mommy
congrats on the new baby and yes, it will most likely get better.
never tried the ergo, I had luck with my meitai and didy wrap. never did have luck putting a sleeping baby down in one though. best I could do was get comfy on the couch with them still on me (not really great for POP so I'm no help there).
nauli, though, is probably the single most powerful exercise I've done for my POP. took me a good while to learn (like over a month), first I could only suck in and then contract one side and then the other but now I can get the whole roll-thing going. well worth the effort, imo.
I'm in a religious mood today so your comment "I know God must have had a hand in bringing me here " resonated strongly with me. that is how I feel as well, G-d not only brought me to Wholewoman.com but also to this place called 'living with prolapse'. now that I've been here for a number of years, I have some perspective and can look back and see the blessings that have come to my life through dealing with prolapse. I've learned to slow down and listen - both to my body and to those around me. I actually feel MORE healthy and whole now than I did before I had a prolapse. I can more easily (still not easy!) categorize the losses in my life and cope with them and I cut those around me a bit more slack, you never know what someone is dealing with!
I am happy that you have found reason to hold onto hope that your life can be normal and full again. mine is : )

louiseds

October 3, 2011 - 11:48pm

With the meh tai I found it easy to put the baby or toddler down to sleep. I would just back up to, or lean forward onto, the blanket on the floor and let their weight transfer to the blanket. I seem to remember that sometimes they would stir, but I just stayed there, over them, until they settled again, undid the straps and let them fall down onto the blanket, and covered them to make them feel 'held'. This is the advantage of a soft baby carrier.

Of course this leaves four long straps lying near the baby, so I had to watch them in case they became entangled when rousing. But I always had them close by, usually within view and always within earshot, and I always had them in my mind because they never were far away from me as babies. They weren't behind closed doors.

It became easier as they got older, and were 'more asleep' when they were asleep. I think part of the challenge is letting them get really asleep before putting them down, and not being in a hurry.

Having said that, these were my babies and I knew them well. Your babies might be quite different.

The boobs were always my secret weapons for getting babies to sleep, but DD used to snack every 60-90 minutes and never went to sleep at the breast until she was about 8 months old, so I wore her to sleep until then. Boy, was that a relief, when she first fell asleep at the breast! She then happily fell asleep at the breast until she was 20 months old, and self-weaned, when I was 5 months pg with DS2.

EB-mommy

October 5, 2011 - 4:36pm

Sorry I haven't posted back, the little one is sleeping so I have a second and wanted to again say thanks for the replies. Louise, I'm definitely going to look into sewing soft carrier, i love to sew to maybe it would be a good project for me to work on. Until then, I'm adopting your other sage advice and I'm nursing my little girl to sleep which she has settled for this week in absence of having Daddy here to walk with her. Its actually become a super sweet time for us together even though it takes up to an hour (this girl loves the boobies). I've been using the Ergo more when around town and for the most part it is feeling comfy. I do still get tired when out walking at the mall or store, but trying to plan activities with seated "rest stops" built in to help with that for now.

I've still been trying Nauli and I think I might be getting the hang of it a bit. I don't think I'm rolling my abs at all and sometimes just feel like i'm contracting in and out with the lower abs, but occasionally I'll feel some lifting in there and I haven't had any bladder issues the last few days so maybe its helping :) Do you ladies that nauli do it everyday? Do you do it just once or several repetitions? Or just when needed when having symptoms?

Overall I've been having a good week, I feel encouraged hearing your stories. Especially you girls that have had more babes post POP. Thanks for being so honest.

EB

granolamom

October 6, 2011 - 3:54pm

when I was doing nauli I started doing it about three times a week. but once I got the hang of it, it was kinda fun and addictive so I was doing it twice a day. I think I may have overdone it at one point, my back was hurting.

I made my meitai using an online tutorial, used to be christmasevetwins or something like that but if you google it, the link to the new page should come up. It was a very clear tutorial and pretty easy to sew up, mostly straight lines, not too intricate or anything.