Ebb and flow

Body: 

Hi everyone,

I have been present here often, reading words of advice and encouragement although it has been a while since I posted. I want to thank you all for all your continued work and support on this forum, which has been and continues to be an absolute lifeline to me.

The extent to which my prolapse gives me problems tends to ebb and flow... I have experienced several months with minor or no symptoms, for which I am grateful, but now it is revealing itself as more of a presence in my life, in places I would rather it were not! I shall no doubt be here a little more often, seeking help as issues arise... thank you again for your presence here on the web and the real sense of friendship you extend. Even my closest friends - with no depth of knowledge to guide them - believe that I will soon give up this crazy postural idea and accept that surgery is the way forward, I think they are just waiting for me to admit that this hasn't worked... well, that's not going to happen, and thank you all for being true wise women and friends on here. Your support means the world.

What a lovely post octaviel. I am blessed to have found this group - am eagerly waiting on my book and dvd - my Christmas present to myself. Coming here is like going to a quiet room in your house where there is a secret group of sisters who understand and support - but even more importantly, offer help.
I discuss this condition with my husband and he said it must be a new thing because he had never heard of it from mothers and grandmothers - I looked at him and said - we will never know if they suffered because nobody speaks about it and certainly never in the past generations. I don't talk about it to anyone except my husband and mother. I don't expect anyone to understand and I am somewhat ashamed although I shouldn't be - but the subject is forbidden ... erectile dysfunction seems to be widely discussed but not the trauma and horror of women losing control over their internal organs - that is difficult enough - yet we have to endure our situation with little compassion or support - even from the health professionals we pay highly to see - I sat in tears in my doctor's office and they think it's a medical condition to fix. It's a personal, emotional, spiritual and physical condition with no easy fix. We live it every day, many times a day - and we have to continue on as though everything is normal.
I am very kind to myself these days ... I want to live a long and fruitful life and I have to find a way to accept and be grateful ... this forum helps me to see there is support and hopefully brighter days.

Your lovely words are nurturning and full of encouragement.

Do you mind me asking how, specifically, you are kind to yourself? I know this sounds like a daft question. Do you mean positive self-talk, or is there more to it than that? I am interested because I think I am not very good at this.

I used to be a perfectionist with appearance, grooming, etc. Also a hard task master with work and studies. Now I almost feel like having this to deal with on a daily basis is enough to bear without being so hard on myself. So now when I look in the mirror I am less critical, when I am tired and want to rest I forget about all the chores and relax. I let the housework go a little - I buy myself small treats, I realise that life is not predictable and that if I have a passion or dream I should pursue it. So I am trying to balance the negative and discomfort with positives and uplifting things. It really does help - nurturing the heart, mind and soul - because the body is causing some distress. Every day we should take time out to treat ourselves in some way ... no matter how small - just to help us cope with the difficult times.

I have also learnt to say 'no' to others if I find it difficult to do what is expected. I have permission to look after myself without trying to please everyone else. It is my private situation - but it has given me strength to stand up for myself more.