starting to think and worry about the bith of my baby whats best?

Hi klee,
I am so pleased the prolapse issues you were experiencing have improved and you're feeling better - and naturally enough thinking about baby's birth. I have a couple of thoughts. You've already had twins naturally, so your body will be 'looser' than if this was your 1st baby. Make sure you don't drastically over-eat during pregnancy (in the UK women greatly over-eating during pregnancy is not uncommon in recent years) - as this can lead to an overwieght baby. But of course you are eating for 2 and need to eat healthily and heartily - just not really over-eating greatly. Your symptoms are definately not severe enough to think of having a caesaerian as an alternative.
I may be wrong but it dosen't sounds as if your symptoms are severe enough at the moment at least - to warrant thinking about a caesarian birth. Caesarians can be wonderful and sometimes life-saving alternatives, but they are major surgeries. I think sometimes caesarians are presented as the easy option. However recovering from a caesarian and looking after a baby (and older children) simultaneously are not easy options. Major surgery can also create problematic side effects sometimes too. (I had an emergency caesarian with my first baby and found it diffucult afterwards. I do wonder whether that surgery contributed to my uterine prolapse symtpoms 20 years later too.) Probably best to wait and see how things go during the pregnancy. But no alarm bells are ringing for me so far!
Things that help include things like, relaxing, (someone told me to go to the movies whilst I had the chance!), eating lovely nutricious food and making sure your diet promotes easy bm's, not straining on the loo, drinking water sometimes (I'm told warm water is easiest on the digestive system), ww posture, lol's...
Wishing you all the best,
wholewomanuk

one day I'll get around to really writing my birth story and history and you have probably read the short form around here in different places. Long story short: I had two birth center births, 1 midwife assisted homebirth and 2 unassisted homebirths.
If I had it to do over again I'd go unassisted every time.
I've had one baby under 7lbs and two babies over 8.5lbs - almost a difference of 2lbs. The bigger babies were very easy to birth! My babies also have good sized heads. My middle child had the biggest head and shoulders. It was a quick easy birth, but I could tell the difference in his size as I was birthing him. You will likely feel this difference- but it's not a bad thing. It's just different!
You are amazing! Natural birth with twins is so admirable to me. Either you were very convicted about it or you were incredibly lucky.
Either way, your body is in no way damaged as far as birth is concerned. In fact, you are in an even better position to have a great birth, having previously given birth. Your body will be like 'oh this again? I can do this!'
During my last birth I reached inside as the bag of waters was dilating my cervix and felt for prolapse and it simply didn't exist. My uterus and the baby pulled everything up and out of the way.
I had planned a no push birth for the last two births but when it came down to it, there was no way I could breathe the baby down and out.
The last birth I walked and walked for about 3 hours. Then she was born. I would walk and stop and grunt a little with every contraction towards the end of the labor. It felt right!
In my opinion an active birth with an aware mama and and aware baby (not drugged) is the best choice for a great outcome. What happens after (as far as prolapse goes) has years and years to change (for the better or worse depending on what you choose to do all day every day).
What are you specific fears?

Hi Klee

Great to hear from you again, and that you are now looking forward to the birth. It is great that your pregnant belly has popped out of the top of your uterus, just as it should. How normal you are!

Just remember that vaginas and women's bodies are designed for the passage of the baby. CS involves a lot of cutting and rearranging tissues to get access, then sewing it all up again and leaving permanent sutures in your uterus, which can cause problems with subsequent pregnancies and labours, and a big (am I allowed to say 'disfiguring'?) scar across your belly. Why go through a CS, when your body already has done vaginal birth very well? Why have unnecessary, invasive surgery???

No doubt there was a bit of careful monitoring of your twins' labour and birth. I am sure it will be much more laid back this time with only one baby and I hope little risk of prematurity. It will also be much more comfortable for you in the latter stages of pregnancy. Keep us posted. The joyful expectation of a WW pregnancy is always a thrill.

Louise

If I have any more babies, I want to have them UA. But how? The thought is petrifying. What if something goes wrong- the baby isn't breathing or you hemorrhage. I just want to know how to get a fraction of the strength and courage you have to birth your babies yourself.

I have also wondered the same thing many times.'

Alemama, if it is not too personal a question, could you give us some idea of your rationale in choosing to birth unassisted? How did you overcome your fear of these potentially negative outcomes? Perhaps refer us to some websites where we can read about it?

Louise

There is this intuition and it can be heard if you silence the fear. If your intuition speaks to you and you feel good about your decision, then it's the right one.
If it does not feel right, it isn't.

Beyond that, I knew that I was a healthy woman, young, previous proven birth experiences, totally low risk, well fed, well read, and in great physical shape. All my labs have always been completely normal.
I monitored my pregnancy as much as any doctor or midwife would for my first unassisted birth and I prepared for an emergency.
I made plan a and plan b and plan c and I researched every possible complication, what caused the complication, what indications there were prior to the onset of the complication.
So for example, for hemorrhage I considered all the factors (weak blood, long labor, forced removal of placenta, etc) and planned accordingly.
If the baby was not breathing I was prepared to wait, stimulate the baby, talk to the baby, let the placenta do it's thing, and if there was no response I was prepared to *bag* the baby and wait for an ambulance. My babies are all very active in labor. If my baby was was not going to be alive for the birth I would know that before the birth actually happened. So if I had what is for me a normal birth with an active baby born not breathing I'm sure that breathing would start soon after the birth. If during the labor the baby was not active, I could not get heart tones, and I felt that the baby was dead, I was ready to deal with that too. If at any time I felt my baby was in distress or something felt 'off' I planned to transfer to the hospital.
There are quite a few complications to learn about and explore- but by and large most are preventable and predictable. I'm about 3 minutes from the hospital here and that was a comfort.
I guess it's just an awareness? I trust my baby and my body. I trust birth as a normal everyday kind of activity and don't buy into all the hype. I take very good care of my body and seriously consider nutrition to be of utmost importance during pregnancy for helping to form a healthy baby.
At the end of the day, I was willing to take responsibility for my health and the health of my unborn child. I examined each fear as it surfaced and took the entire process very seriously.
Statistically speaking, homebirth is actually safer than hospital birth.

I think that too often, "unassisted" is equated with "uneducated." As you can see from alemama's post, the opposite is in fact true. I have yet to encounter any account of a birth "disaster" that does not leave a calling card well, well in advance. (The worst, most horrible and disastrous birth I have ever heard of was one I witnessed -- it took place in a room stocked with advanced medical equipment and by the end of the situation was attended by upwards of 35 physicians and nurses.) "Unassisted" does not mean that the woman ignores the need for intervention. For myself, I like having my very hands-off midwife sitting in the corner of my living room. Not because I believe anything would go wrong at home, but because I like to "lose" myself in the process, if that makes any sense. I just happen to want someone else's eyes on the details.

So you really were very busy equipping yourself during the pregnancy to monitor both yourself and the baby, and to understand the readings you took, and you developed all the appropriated contingency plans and what-if's yourself.

These would each have been done by several parties, each in isolation, had you gone for the ObGyn/Hospital option, with nobody knowing the whole story, and with the potential for miscommunication and delays while you were labouring.

In your case, where the hospital was close by, and you were a very 'together' pregnant woman you were simply taking back the responsibility for information collection, interpretation and decision-making, for this most basic bodily process of gestating and birthing your babies.

A thought. It is strange that we do not have an active noun for 'pregnant woman' in our language. Host? Gestatrix? Womban? Incubatrix? English regards the pregnant woman as waiting, and carrying another, not as an active participant in growing the baby, despite the fact that so much of her body changes in so many amazing ways, specifically to grow the baby.

L

I think gravida is the word you are looking for Louise...perhaps not in common usage though :-)

EDIT: And it does not convey your sense of active...

Sounds pretty heavy and depressing, doesn't it! I think I will stick with pregnant woman for now.

hi klee
I havent had the time to read through all of the responses, so forgive me please if I am repetitive.
I had two babies after discovering my prolapse. mostly a cystocele/urethrocele which went from stage 3 to a 2 most of the time once I started this work.
both of those births were natural homebirths. I wanted to be on my hands and knees for both of them. the only thing I 'blame' on the prolapse was this: you know how they say a woman often feels an urge to defecate right before crowning? well I had this overwhelming urge to pee. and once the baby's head was well engaged, I was unable to empty my bladder though it felt full. I think the bladder was getting pushed out of the way by the baby's head. it felt better when I was on hands/knees, which is why I birthed that way.
otherwise, labor and birth were absolutely glorious. no further damage to my prolapses. and my youngest was almost 9lb. our bodies are made to do this.

"I have yet to encounter any account of a birth "disaster" that does not leave a calling card well, well in advance."

That is comforting.

I've gradually, after three hospital births, come to the conclusion that if I ever have another baby, I want to have it at home, by myself. I don't trust doctors anymore. I don't want one near me or my perineum when Im having a baby. The problem is, I know that things *can* go wrong, whether at home or at the hospital. But at least at the hospital, the blame wouldn't fall on you. I know it's just cowardice on my part right now. Hence my search for the needed courage and confidence.

My ideal would be a wise, gentle midwife, sitting to the side, letting me do my thing and knowing that she probably would not be needed- not to support my perineum, not even to catch the baby. No matter how much I read and educate myself about the birthing process and how many plans I form, I can not have the knowledge and experience that a midwife would have. Her presence, I think, would indeed be a comfort.

But I doubt that I would find a midwife that is hands-off enough where I live - and that leaves me with just the unassisted hb option. I know it is what I want, I know I cannot go through another doctor's interventions (and countless harms as a result) due to their mistrust of a mother's natural birthing abilities-- but the "what if?, what if?" thoughts are still there.

I just remembered something crazy- a friend of a friend had an unassisted home birth while her midwife, who was overseas, helped her when needed --on Skype.

Sorry to bring the negative side in ... I would be terrified now to see my daughter give birth at home ... I am lucky to still be here and we can argue both sides - there is no right answer.
I wanted a home birth and by the grace of whatever I am still alive because a doctor replaced my uterus which completely inverted ... some may say it wouldn't have inverted without the doctor attending ... who knows ...
Make a really informed choice and then have comfort that you have done what is best for you.
There will be judgement whatever you choose...
If only we could have both options on our terms ...

I agree with takecare. Without the option of emergency CS I would never have known my mother or sister (Mum had undiagnosed placenta praevia). I always keep that in mind and 30 years later the whole family remains grateful that we have them both.

I'm 14 weeks into my second pregnancy and once again reminded of how differently I handle pregnancy to many others. It is just not natural for me. Meaning, the conceiving is easy enough but the nine months of gestation feel like absolute torture. My blood tests come up fine but pregnancy drains me physically and mentally, when normally I'd be energetic, fit and driven. I know I will come alive again and return to myself once the baby is born.

I'm a bit of a hippy, with plenty of friends who have had wonderful home births. I had my first baby in hospital last time (no complaints), and this time am considering the family birth centre at the same hospital, or just the normal ward like last time. But home birth? And unassisted home birth? Definitely not for me.

I think it's great that we have so many choices in our first world towns and cities. Make the most of those choices and pick the right one for you! Hospital for me.

Hi Kiko

My three were all hospital births. The first was fully managed. I hardly played a part in it. As an old hippy myself this was very disappointing. The second and third were very satisfactory hospital births. As long as we are well informed, I get the feeling that hospital births in Australia are , on the whole, much better quality experiences than in the USA, certainly safer for mothers and babies. I still think that being well informed and comfortable with the labour and birth processes, and being assertive, or having somebody assertive with you, is important. Birth suites are no place for shrinking violets who are not confident in their body's ability to birth the baby.

I saw a video the other day on Youtube about Midwife Care, rather than Obstetrician care, in pregnancy and birth in Australia under the new rules. It has a lot going for it. Anyone within I think it is 50km of a metro hospital can now have Midwife Care. I can't find it now, but I did find this, http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Pregnancy... , which is about birth choices in Victoria. You might find it, or other better resources, on that site.

Louise